Hetalia On Omegle, Plays and more
by MaximosBlack
Summary: The nations have found out about Omegle! Yes, they run into normal people, either looking for a good conversation, kik numbers, or to cyber/ sext. How many characters will be able to handle the real world?
1. Oliver! (2P! England)

This one I was roleplaying as 2P!England!

Enjoy this... I felt... strange doing this.

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**Stranger:** hey

**Stranger:** g

**You:** Hello! ^.^

**Stranger:** you?

**You:** Care for a cupcake?

**Stranger:** doi have to get in the van?

**You:** No?...

**Stranger:** k

**You:** what color?

**You:** Pink or blue?

**Stranger:** blue deffenately

**You:** ok! * hands you blue cupcake*

**You:** Tea?

**Stranger:** sure

**You:** Great!

**You:** *hands you tea*

**Stranger:** :)

**You:** So, what's your name?

**Stranger:** are you a boy or girl?

**Stranger:** lol

**Stranger:** skylar

**You:** I am a boy.

**Stranger:** ok

**Stranger:** age?

**You:** What a lovely name for such a lovely woman like your self

**You:** Too bad it's going to be a waste...

**You:** Oh I'm 16.

**Stranger:** thank you.. a waist?

**You:** And your self?

**Stranger:** im 16

**You:** well what a coincidence.

**You:** Oh and you'll find out later :3

**Stranger:** kik?

**You:** Why don't we chat here? I like talking to you.

**Stranger:** okay then

**You:** I don't have all these fancy things like other teenagers have

**You:** Thank you, sweetheart ^.^

**Stranger:** oh

**Stranger:** yepp

**You:** So those cupcakes have special ingredients in them

**You:** and so does that tea.

**Stranger:** what are they then?

**You:** The tea has almost like a burnt almond taste, correct?

**Stranger:** whats in them i mean

**Stranger:** suer

**You:** Well its a secret ingredient silly! If I told you it wont be a secret anymore!

**You:** You're adorable! :3

**Stranger:** i wont tell anyone :(

**You:** You'll find out soon :3

**You:** Ever read the landlady?

**Stranger:** nope

**You:** Well I'm sort of like the lady, sort of. Only in male form. Its such a great story. I get some GREAT ideas from her ^.^

**You:** You should read it some time. You'll probably learn a lot more about me if you do.

**Stranger:** thts cool.. do u have a pack?

**Stranger:** okay

**Stranger:** ill look into it

**You:** a pack?

**You:** A pack of?...

**Stranger:** six pack lol

**Stranger:** just a pack

**Stranger:** abs basicly

**You:** Oh! Of course I do! I run a lot and I lift a lot. I've had it for so long.

**Stranger:** :)

**Stranger:** are you sure you dont have a kik?

**You:** I lift A TON of weight.

**Stranger:** thats hot right there

**You:** I wouldn't lie to such a beautiful girl

**You:** Oh is it now?...

**Stranger:** yea

**Stranger:** i need to get something here

**You:** ok. And that would be?

**Stranger:** phone # kik, skype something

**You:** Well I'm sorry, dear.

**Stranger:** snapchat something!

**You:** You wont be living for that long.

**You:** But would you enjoy a picture of me?

**Stranger:** oh erally ?

**Stranger:** yea

**Stranger:** i would

**You:** Ok :3 v

**You:** let me find one

**Stranger:** okee

**You:** and sorry, the v is a typo

**Stranger:** ya i figured

**You:** clubs/2p-hetalia/images/30842909/title/2p-england-fanart

**You:** I'm the first picture dear~

**Stranger:** okay

**You:** I would give you my number, but I'm afraid I'm not into necrophilia.

**Stranger:** into what/

**You:** Necrophilia.

**You:** I bet you do want my number though... Don't you?

**Stranger:** yea

**You:** Well, I'm afraid the secret ingredients will be kicking in soon.

**Stranger:** okay ?

**You:** I can tell you a secret~

**You:** correct?

**Stranger:** yea

**Stranger:** of coarse

**You:** I'm psychotic

**You:** ^.^

**Stranger:** cool

**Stranger:** ?

**You:** And it was nice knowing you.

**You:** Bye-Bye Skylar!

**Stranger:** uhm? okay? dont leave!

**You:** Hope your last cupcake and last tea was delicious !

**You:** Oh? I wont be the one leaving silly!

**You:** You will.

**You:** Bye- bye!

* * *

Who should I role play next?...


	2. Ivan! (Russia)

Character being Role played- Russia! (Ivan)

First attempt of doing Russia

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**Stranger:** DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE SAY "ASL", STATE YOUR GENDER, ASK MY GENDER, OR STATE YOUR LOCATION. I WILL BRUTALLY MURDER YOU WITH A BLANKET.

**You:** ASL?!

**You:** I AM FUCKING IVAN

**Stranger:** I'M GOING TO FUCKING MUTILATE YOU, IVAN.

**You:** I AINT SCARED OF SHIT

**You:** COME AND GET ME FUCKER

**Stranger:** TRACKING YOUR IP ADDRESS, IVAN.

**You:** I'LL BEAT YOU WITH MY LEAD PIPE BITCH

**You:** DO IT.

**You:** I BET YOU WONT

**Stranger:** I'LL MUTILATE YOU WITH MY DAEDRIC GREATSWORD, "BITCH".

**You:** YOU WONT DO IT

**Stranger:** HOPE YOU LIKE EXTREME AGONY.

* * *

I sort of stayed in character... I guess XD

Not really... they disconnected before I could say anything...

I wanted to share this... beautiful first attempt.

Proud of myself.

Ivan was hard to do, sorry if its not the best. I tired for like a hole day trying to do Ivan! And... nothing. Here's another one where this person didn't answer me back..

*(Warning! Lacks humor!)*

**You:** Hello ^J^

**You:** I will beat you with Mr. Lead Pipe of you don't answer me back~ ^J^

**You:** So be it... I will find you. And make you become one with Mother Russia, da?

**You:** Da... Its settled


	3. Author's Note!

Hello! Miranda here. ^.^

Just wanted to tell you guys that I'll be adding notes and what I was thinking when I read what they said in there as well. But not trying to confuse you when I do, (which will be the next ones I do) I will put them in italics.

Thanks!

And the next one I'm doing after I update is Belarus!

* I do ALL requests!*

Bye!


	4. Natalia! ( Belaurs)

Character 'being' role-played- Natalia! (Belarus)

This one... I don't know.

I know this guy's not from a native English speaking country, but oh my gosh. Bad grammar, irks me. So. Much!

Enjoy this... masterpiece?

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hi

**Stranger:** hi

**Stranger:** asl

**You:** 15, female, and in your closet _* I was so tempted to put something else. But this seemed to fit.*_

**Stranger:** 18/m india * _Didn't even say anything? Ok then... Must be used to this.*_

**You:** Well hello. My, my... you're handsome but not as handsome as big bruder...

**You:** but you'll have to do

**You:** So.

**You:** whats your name?

**Stranger:** vicky & urs _* Isn't Vicky sort for Victoria?*_

**You:** Natalia

**Stranger:** nice name

**You:** thanks. Yours too

**You:** So, you need a little bit of a bigger closet. * _I seriously sat there for 5 minutes. So I wanted to keep it moving so I put something about his closet* _

**Stranger:** yes

**You:** Its pretty small. I mean, what if one day I have kids with big bruder in here?!

**You:** AND ITS TAKE YOUR CHILD TO WORK DAY _* Natalia problems*_

**You:** You agree with me

**Stranger:** sure baby * _I was typing the stuff below when he put this.*_

**You:** that's wonderful. thank you for understanding my difficulties

**You:** baby?

**You:** oh baby. * (Deep manly voice like the voice Jake did from Adventure Time) _Oh my.*_

**You:** This is going by too fast. But I some how like it _*lies...*_

**Stranger:** shall v b frndz

**You:** Please put a pink scarf on and dye your hair white

**You:** we*

**You:** be*

**You:** Friends*

**You:** and yes

**You:** once you make your closet larger

**You:** we will become best of friends. And maybe friends with benifts _* Complaining about his grammar when I spelled 'benifts' rather than '__benefits'*_

**Stranger:** do you want chat with me daily _* Started to get really weird here... Rising action!*_

**You:** Well you sort of do

**You:** I mean again, I'm in your closet.

**You:** I hear you talk all the time.

**Stranger:** then do have skype my frnd

**You:** friend* and no. I'm sorry.

**Stranger:** then what do u have

**You:** Laptop.

**You:** Internet

**You:** ( And you need to share some! I have hardly any!)

**You:** stop watching so much porn.

**You:** We all know its hentai. * _I just had to.*_

**You:** We all know you have that kind of fetish

**You:** but who wouldn't. We anime girls are the shit _* We are the shit, correct?*_

**Stranger:** i don't porn movies * _poetry, correct?*_

**You:** You don't porn movies...

**You:** Beautiful

**You:** AND YES YOU DO

**You:** I SEEN YOU WATCH THEM

**Stranger:** ow do u know...?

**You:** a fucking gain. *_Does this guy read? I mean I clearly stated I was in his closet!*_

**You:** I'm in your small ass closet

**You:** watching you as you sleep

**You:** :3

**Stranger:** r u using fb

**You:** -_-

**You:** No! You're not very smart like Ivan, are you?

**You:** No

**You:** Im using Omegle.

**You:** I'm*

**You:** And so are you, sunshine

**Stranger:** what r the hobbies of u...?

**You:** Stalking, practicing knife throwing, watching big bruder shower ( one of my favorites)

**You:** You?

**Stranger:** good..! me playing soccer,chatting with frndz etc...

**You:** nice.

**You:** And your grammar is annoying me.

**You:** Well, I'm going to take a nap

**You:** in your closet

**You:** You kept me up ALL night last night.. Stop masturbating so much I mean GOD!

**You:** You're a screamer -_- *_I don't know what I was thinking at this point...*_

**You:** goodbye

**Stranger:** can u suck my 9inch cock baby * _This is where it got to the max of weird...*_

**You:** Um n

**You:** no* _* OHHHH REJECTED *_

* * *

This was fun. This was the first try and I don't think I did too well. I seemed as if I was picking on the guy more than anything.

Opps...

But he asked Natalia to suck him!

Natalia- THATS ONLY FOR BIG BRUDER!

Me- I know Natalia... I know.


	5. Romano! ( SItaly)

Character being role-played- Romano! ( )

He was REALLY hard to do. Because I kept putting the same thing at the beginning and people were calling me rude and I was like 'No I'm not.."

He was very difficult.

Enjoy this~

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hey bastardo

**Stranger:** hi bastarda

**You:** MOTHERFUCKER

**You:** DONT YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT

**Stranger:** oh u silly little boy

**You:** OH?

**You:** I'm the silly little mother fucking boy?

**You:** I AM

**You:** OH

**You:** OH HELL NO

**Stranger:** shouldnt u be watching titanic and crying for your pathetic existence

**Stranger:** ?

**You:** IREBIOREIBREINBEWNBIRE

**You:** YOU BETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP

**Stranger:** no, yo mama wont let u, that film has adult scenes in it

**You:** ANTONIO LETS ME WATCH ANYTHING

**Stranger:** ok, i will go while u stay here n try to grow up OK?

**You:** NOPBNOIEINBNIB NO

**Stranger:** coochie coo u little angel

**You:** NO

**You:** ACKNOWLEDGE ME

**You:** ANSWER ME

**You:** ANSWER ME

**Stranger:** buy sweetie pie

* * *

I'm currently out of requests!

Need some more please!


	6. Author's Note Number Two!

sorry if you thought this was an update! BUT, for the two of my viewers who wanted Sweden and China to be done, I am pushing them to the side. I am SO sorry, but I've spent all day on those two and no one is answering them back. I will get them done as soon as I can. But right now, I don't think anybody on that site wants to deal with them.

Again, terribly sorry. I will get them done shortly, but just not today.

~Miranda


	7. Antonio! (Spain)

Character being 'Role-Played'- Antonio! (Spain)

Ok. I don't think I completely nailed Antonio. I know he is sort of air-headed and doesn't think before he speaks, so this is the first one I got.

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello

**Stranger:** WHAT IS AIR? _ * more important things to worry about right now!*_

**You:** Can you help me

**Stranger:** With what...?

**You:** I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM

**You:** HELP ME

**Stranger:** Don't fucking ask for nudes or I will kill you * _I didn't want you naked! Can't stand it with clothes on already!*_

**You:** I'm not!

**Stranger:** But yes what do you need help wiht

**Stranger:** with*

**You:** I lost my little guy!

**You:** Romano!

**You:** He's missing! I cant find him anywhere and I'm starting to panic!

**Stranger:** Why the fuck are you on omegle you fuck _*Because I can*_

**Stranger:** Go look for this child you speak of

**You:** EXCUSE ME MOTHER FUCKER BUT HE RUNS AWAY TO SOME STRANGE PLACES

**Stranger:** GOOD DAY TO YOU

* * *

Second one~

**You:** Can you help me? please?

**Stranger:** yes

**You:** I can't find my little friend Romano

**You:** have you seen him?

**Stranger:** niice im romano

**You:** ROMANO

**You:** GET BACK IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW

**You:** please?...

**You:** Romano... I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings...

**You:** please come home

**Stranger:** yees have you a skype

**Stranger:** ?

**You:** Romano,

**You:** please come home

**You:** now

**Stranger:** skyyyyyyyyyyyype

**You:** Romanooooooooo

**Stranger:** i need money _* Two can play at that game*_

**You:** I need tomatoes

**Stranger:** to come home

**You:** to let you eat

**Stranger:** moooney _* This guy must be high or something*_

**Stranger:** ?

**You:** tomaaatoesss

**You:** ? what the fuck now Romano

**You:** I'M SORRY! _* oh no!*_

**You:** I didn't mean to cuss. Romano don't cuss me back please

**Stranger:** your skyype

**You:** Your body * _XD I couldn't think of anything else!*_

**You:** needs to be with me

**Stranger:** your skype

**You:** your body

* * *

And that's how Romano ran away.

I'm going to use this same idea for another one.

But I ran into a completely weirdo XD

Here it is~

* * *

**Stranger:** Are you a female into public nudity?

**You:** hello _* Was thinking, dafuq?!*_

**Stranger:** hi

You have disconnected. * _and good bye*_

* * *

XD Anyway, back to Antonio~

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello!

**Stranger:** hi

**You:** Have you seen my little Romano?!

**Stranger:** rawr o.o _* I was seriously thinking about calling them a scene wanna-be at this point*_

**You:** I can't find him anywhere!

**Stranger:** nope

**Stranger:** neither can i

**You:** Are you sure?

**Stranger:** c:

**You:** you seem like you're hiding something

**You:** Are you going to be a sick son of a bitch and keep him in your closet?

**You:** BECAUSE THATS MY JOB _* Antonio...*_

**Stranger:** what i dont put little kids in mu closets o.e

**Stranger:** my*

**You:** I never said you did

**You:** I was thinking you did

**You:** because you seem guilty... _* They have a guilty mind*_

**You:** Tell me your name... * _Because I really needed this to track her down*_

**Stranger:** sage...

**You:** Sage...

**You:** I'm Antonio

**You:** GIVE ME BACK ROMANO

**Stranger:** nice to meet antonio and i let him go to the ice cream shop o.o

**You:** NO!

**You:** GIVE HIM TOMATOES

**You:** HE'LL LIKE THAT BETTER

**You:** seriously.

**You:** he's on a strict diet

**Stranger:** why you call a walking stick fat...

**Stranger:** but i let him go by him self..

**Stranger:** o.o

**Stranger:** oops

**You:** NO

**Stranger:** ...

**You:** DONT DO THAT YOU DUMBASS

**You:** HE'LL GET INTO FIGHTS

**You:** PLEASE

**You:** GO GET HIM

**You:** NOW

**You:** HURRY MOTHER FUCKER

**You:** RUN

**Stranger:** hes been here for a while he didnt kill anyone you bitch

**You:** now hold the fuck up. * _holds up index finger in a 'oh no you didn't' way*_

**You:** When did I say he'd kill someone

**You:** you dumbass you're reading shit wrong * _Don't think she could read...*_

**You:** I said He'd get into fights

**Stranger:** it was a joke :s

**Stranger:** you asshole

**You:** well my beautiful ass is more funny than you * _Antonio DOES have a nice ass *_

**Stranger:** i dont think you even have ass and you need to grow so balls dumbass *_ What?...*_

**You:** Excuse me? BITCH

**You:** I HAVE YOU FUCKING KNOW MY ASS IS BELOVED BY FAN GIRLS EVERYWHERE

**Stranger:** hahahahahahahahahahaha *_NO ONE laughs at Antonio!*_

**You:** THERE IS A MOTHER FUCKING TUMBLR ALL ABOUT MY PERFECT ASS CHEAKS *_There really is and I love it XD*_

**Stranger:** you got to be kidding me hahaha

**You:** AH NO BITCH

**You:** WHEN PEOPLE HAVE A BAD DAY THEY GO ON GOOGLE AND GOOGLE MY ASS

**You:** bitches be gett'n juice for it ;3

**Stranger:** you and your fucking ass are not perfect and i don think they would google your fucking ass bitch

**You:** MOTHER FUCKING BITCH

**Stranger:** thanks (:

**You:** DONT YOU DARE

**You:** TALK THAT LOW ABOUT MY ASS * _Mmmmhmmmm*_

**You:** if you saw these cheeks

**You:** if you looked at them

**You:** you would be amazed _* Amazed is a underestimate* _

**Stranger:** not going to happen dumbass

**You:** Yes it will

**Stranger:** how

**Stranger:** ?

**You:** when I leave your skanky ass you're going to be all over that google and tumblr looking up ' Antonio ass'

**Stranger:** nope i dont want to look at some random guys fat ass on google or tublr and say thats a fine as and guess what it wont be a cine ass its probly fake bitch

**You:** Me?

**You:** FAKE?

**You:** OH HELLLL TO DA NO *_Oh shit*_

**You:** I do NOT have a fake ass like your fake ass tittes

**Stranger:** someone got their sassy on c;

**Stranger:** oh snap...

**You:** OH FUCKING YES

**You:** dumbass bitch needs to get their facts straight.

**Stranger:** you must love your ass so much to talk about it all the time

**You:** Well I do have a mighty fine ass C;

**Stranger:** and btw hoe how old are you

**You:** I am 17 years old * _lies... I always lie about my age when role-playing XD*_

**You:** and you?

**Stranger:** 17

**Stranger:** :s

**You:** well isn't that fabulous

**You:** but I prefer younger

**Stranger:** ikr ...

**Stranger:** why

**You:** because,

**You:** I do

**You:** little Romano was my baby ;3 *_ Some spamo is getting into this!*_

**Stranger:** your not a sex ofender o.o

**You:** not yet

**Stranger:** o.e

**You:** ;3

**Stranger:** poor little girls...

**You:** boys*

**Stranger:** oh

**You:** yup

**You:** SO YOU'VE SEEN ROMANO _* ANSWER THIS QUESTION*_

**Stranger:** your gay?...

**You:** I think

**You:** All guys are gay in till proven bi

**You:** AND AGIAN

**You:** ARE YOU SENDING ROMANO OVER TO MY PLACE

**You:** OR DO I HAVE TO PICK HIM UP

**Stranger:** im keeping him c:

**You:** NO

**You:** fine... let him piss in the bed

**You:** let him fucking cuss you out and call you a bastard

**Stranger:** ok

**You:** please...

**You:** bring him home

**You:** I miss him

**Stranger:** hes goinf to fuck me

**You:** HE DOESNT LIKE BLUE WAFFLES

**You:** HE DOESNT LIKE GIRLS

**You:** HE SAYS THEY HAVE GERMS

**You:** BRING MY BABY BACK

**Stranger:** everyone has germs

**You:** but girls have more

**Stranger:** no

**You:** actually its sort of proven

**Stranger:** oh well to bad

**Stranger:** hes mine

**You:** girls wear makeup and a lot of make up has a lot of germs

**You:** I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU D:

**Stranger:** i dont wear make up btw

**You:** I NEED MY LITTLE TOMATOE EATTING BABY

**You:** oh yeah whatever.

**You:** I'm coming over

**Stranger:** why

**You:** to get Romano. Be there at 5:00

**You:** BECAUSE HE'S MY TOMATOE LOVING BABY

**Stranger:** no hes mine

**You:** fuck you

**You:** see you at five

You have disconnected.

* * *

I tried... Anyone else want a character?

Antonio let his GHETTO side out!

And dat ass of his... Oh yesh...


	8. Alfred!(America)

Character being role- played- Alfred!( America)

Here's the first Alfred one...

This guy is so weird XD

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hi

**Stranger:** asl

**You:** 17 m usa

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** m 18

**Stranger:** whats up

**You:** nothing much, dude

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** playing with my dick

**You:** oh. That's nice

**Stranger:** yup

**You:** So...

**You:** whats your name?

**Stranger:** luke

**You:** Alfred.

**You:** Nice to meet you luke

**Stranger:** cool

**Stranger:** nice to meet you too

**You:** its always nice meeting me! I'm the hero you know

* Then Luke left me...*

* * *

Here's the second one-

* * *

img src=" " width="236" height="57" alt="Omegle" img src=" " width="220" height="57" alt="Talk to strangers!"

**27,361** strangers online

Original text

Contribute a better translation

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**Stranger:** hi

**You:** Hi!

**Stranger:** how r u?

**You:** Great! But how are you?

**Stranger:** fine

**Stranger:** what r uj doing?

**You:** Waiting for someone to need me.

**You:** I live a busy life of a hero

**You:** and what are you up to?

**Stranger:** hero?

**You:** Yup!

**You:** I'm the hero of the world you know

**Stranger:** hahaha

**You:** its a very interesting life

**You:** No!

**Stranger:** cool =P

**You:** I'm serous

**Stranger:** are u superman?

**You:** No! I'm Alfred F. Joans

**Stranger:** haha

**You:** The REAL hero

**You:** * the ' F' stands for Fantastic"

**You:** Alfred Fantastic Joans

**Stranger:** cool

**You:** But my hero name is America

**Stranger:** :P

**You:** SO WHATS YOUR NAME INNOCENT BY-STANDER?

**You:** or ARE you REALLY innocent?...

**Stranger:** haha , im magali

**Stranger:** i´m from argentina

**You:** Well nice to meet you Magali

**You:** I'm from America!

**You:** Well I AM America

**Stranger:** haha

**Stranger:** nice to meet u America =P

**You:** I hope you enjoy your time of safety

**You:** HAHAHA~

**You:** nice to meet you to Argie .

**You:** I'ma just call you that

**You:** is that ok dude?

**Stranger:** haha nop

**You:** Hahaha~ Fine then. Like, do you want me just to call you Magali ?

**Stranger:** yep

**You:** fine then.

**You:** So, what have you been up to today?

**Stranger:** i was listening to music u?

**You:** Saving people and nations.

**You:** Today's client was a young girl who was on the side of the road, in need of money.

**You:** She had a rockin' ass...

**You:** she was about 23 or 24

**Stranger:** cool , u are a good hero

**You:** I am aren't I?

**You:** THANK YOU RANDOM PERSON NAMED MAGALI FROM AGRENTINA

**You:** you are the reason why I need cheeseburgers to live.

**Stranger:** hahaha

**You:** you are the reason why I am a free country.

**You:** thank you, for being awesome.

**Stranger:** :P

**Stranger:** haha

**Stranger:** you are cool

**You:** And like, so are you

**You:** thank you kind citizen!

**Stranger:** :)

**You:** Well, I must be running away

**You:** I will speak to you when you need help

**You:** BYE

**You:** CHILD

**You:** BE GOOD.

* * *

No one really wanted to talk to America... Sorry if this wasn't really good

But I tried my best... Sorry :/


	9. Kiku!(Japan)

Character being role-played - Kiku!(Japan)

First time acting as Kiku and this crazy shit happens...

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** konichiiwa

**Stranger:** HeY

**Stranger:** 20, GIrl, hbu?

**You:** 18 Male japan

**Stranger:** Do you wanna see some of my nudez?

**You:** no

**You:** not rerry

**Stranger:** Perfect I'll share them to you on kik if thats okay?

**You:** no

**You:** NO MEANS NO

**Stranger:** Go and add me www.!#$ $ #^#$^$#^ #^$ ^ # # _ * its not a real site. I didn't want to put it up on here*_

_**You:**_NO

**Stranger:** I will be here for youu to add me

**You:** no

**You:** I don't want you

**You:** you look like a inbreed cat

**You:** please

**You:** Staph...

**You:** staph dis...

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

This ones weird as ever...

Here it is~

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: hey

Stranger: asl?

You: 17 m japan

You: you?

Stranger: 16 f

Stranger: china _* They're fucking with me...*_

You: hi.

You: My names Honda.

You: how are you?

Stranger: i'm fine

Stranger: nice to meet you ,Honda

You: I'm sorry, but what's your name?

Stranger: A'Marie

You: nice name

Stranger: thanx

You: you're welcome.

You: So, what's going on?

Stranger: nothing much..just watching porn and masturbating _*Um... ok...*_

Stranger: :D

You: oh... ok... nice? _* HOW ELSE WAS I GOING TO RESPOND!?_

Stranger: ur so boring

You: Well... I AM NOT THE ONE OVER THERE MASTURBATING

You: WHILE THEY ARE FUCKING TALKING TO SOMEONE

You: THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING

You: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING

Stranger: i think ur a son of a bitch :)

Stranger: byee

You: WELL THATS GOOD

You: BYE NASTY HOE

You have disconnected.

* * *

Poor Kiku! He kept running into weirdo's, got scared, and got off, giving the computer to Poland :3


	10. Felisk!(Poland)

Character being role-played-Feliks!(Poland)

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello

**Stranger:** heyy

**You:** what's up?

**Stranger:** good and u?

**You:** great.

**You:** So what's your name?

**Stranger:** Tina

**You:** I'm Felisks

**You:** I like your name.

**You:** Very pretty ^.^

**Stranger:** thanx babe _** Ok... I see where this is going...**_

**You:** lol no problem.

**You:** Where are you from?

**Stranger:** little village in brazil

**You:** Nice. I'm from Poland

**Stranger:** cool

**You:** yup... _** Trying to be shy...***_

**You:** So, I was like wondering why you're on Omegle. _* Warming up...*_

**Stranger:** im bored

**You:** haha same

**Stranger:** hahah

**You:** You seem totally nice.

**You:** I'm like super glad I ran into a normal person

**Stranger:** haha thanx yeah im normal :)

**You:** What do you do in your free time?

**You:** like, whats your hobbies

**Stranger:** riding horses and paintin

**You:** oh sweet

**You:** Mines pretty awesome

**You:** not to like brag and all

**You:** but I like to Cross-dress

**You:** I currently sent a thing to Rupauls Drag race, _*** I love this show.. The guys all call each other bitches and all XD***_

**You:** And I really think I will be apart of the next season. And I'm totally excited.

**Stranger:** oh cool

**You:** yeah.

**You:** So anything you want to talk about?

**Stranger:** mm idk do u have idea ?

**You:** Hmmm...

**You:** So how did your day go?

**You:** sorry if I'm like being boring,

**Stranger:** no its ok and im in hosiptal now since last week ***_Oh... I don't know if I want to fuck with this chick anymore...***_

**You:** Aw

**You:** Why?

**You:** if you don't mind me asking

**Stranger:** no its fine i fell from my horse_ ** Oh Ok... I can fuck with this chick now! ( Ohonhonhonhon)***_

**You:** Oh... This is why I like ponies better -_-

**You:** I'm sorry you got hurt

**You:** but ponies...

**You:** Ponies for evea 3

**Stranger:** haha its ok and ponies seem to me like if i will get on them they will break even i know that they the strongest horses

**You:** I love ponies. I want a pink one SOO BAD. I had one, but I think it ran away after I tried to dress it up in a wig and all.

**You:** I was trying to make him look like Madonna _*** MADONNA PONIES! New T.V Series rather than MLP***_

**Stranger:** listen it little bit weird to force the horse look like madonna

**You:** PONY**** and not really.

**You:** Its all the rage in Poland _* Its the shit there XD*_

**Stranger:** ah ok

**You:** its more of a culture thing

**You:** like my neighbor has a yellow pony that he dressed up as Elvis Presley

**You:** that's not our culture, that's fucking taboo

**You:** weird ass mother fucker

**You:** what's your thing in Brazil?

**Stranger:** it really weird

**You:** I know dressing Shelby up as Elvis...

**You:** Weird ass fuck

**Stranger:** in my village its to be a good Jews

**You:** oh.

**You:** I take it you're jewish?

**Stranger:** yeah

**You:** oh nice.

**You:** in Poland we have pony offs,

**You:** its where we brag about our ponies and all

**You:** its really fun

**You:** I threaten them to let me win every time

**You:** but then someone usually throws up then I do, I have a really weak stomach

**You:** and I lose

**You:** because I go home to my pink house

**Stranger:** i love pink its happy color , listen im going to bed

**Stranger:** good night

**You:** good night

You have disconnected.

* * *

*** If You're From Poland Don't Take This In Offence***

Hope you enjoyed Poland~


	11. Timo!(Finland) MUST SEE!

Character being 'Role-Played'- Timo!(Finland)

This one's CRAZY! But oh my gosh... SHE BOUGHT ME!

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello ^.^

**Stranger:** hi asl

**You:** 17 male finland

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** 14 f us

**You:** hello ^.^

**You:** What's your name?

**Stranger:** melinda u

**You:** Timo

**You:** nice name :3

**Stranger:** kool

**Stranger:** tnx

**You:** no problem

**You:** So where are you from?

**Stranger:** us

**You:** oh sorry I didn't see that

**Stranger:** its fine

**Stranger:** :)

**You:** So what do you want to talk about?

**Stranger:** idk anything really _* Again, Ohonhonhonhonhon* _

**Stranger:** ...

**Stranger:** wht about 20 questions

**You:** ok!

**You:** That's fun

**You:** You start.. I haven't played this in forever

**Stranger:** okay when was ur first kiss

**You:** Hmmm... Probably when I was 13.

**Stranger:** truth

**Stranger:** oh okay kool ur turn

**You:** Craziest thing you've ever done?

**Stranger:** umm idk umm

**Stranger:** ummmmm flashed

**You:** you flashed someone!? _* And here I'm still getting over my first kiss and she has flashed someone!? and she's 14?!... Crazy ass shit here -_-*_

**Stranger:** yah so stupid

**You:** and how old were you?

**You:** lol

**Stranger:** it was last year at a football game well coming back from one * 13!? YOU WERE 13 OH MY XD*

**You:** oh, ok

**You:** your turn

**Stranger:** umm whts the craziest thing uve ever done

**You:** Hmm... probably not giving Ivan one of my shipping ports... * _Sorry if this is incorrect but I don't know much about Finland and all that.. Sorry..*_

**You:** Ivan's scary...

**Stranger:** whts ivan _* Ivan's a name first of all..*_

**You:** Ivan is this guy who runs Russia

**You:** He is really... really scary.

**Stranger:** ohhh

**You:** I just got my independence from him a little while ago

**You:** lucky me ^.^

**You:** Anyway

**You:** Who is your favorite Cartoon character?

**Stranger:** umm johnny test * _NOT TIMO?!*_

**You:** Oh. ok :3

**Stranger:** okaay ummm whts ur fav thing to do

**You:** Hmm... talk to my best friend Berwald

**Stranger:** ur turn

**You:** What color is your favorite?

**Stranger:** purple all the way

**You:** Nice ^-^

**Stranger:** umm did u lie at all during this convo _*... Oh shit...*_

**Stranger:** truth

**You:** no?...

**You:** Why would I lie?

**Stranger:** idk i just looked up the ivan guy and hes like from the 15 th century

**You:** No one has told you about the way the world works have they? *_Good cover up, Miranda!*_

**Stranger:** no why

**You:** because, I'm telling the truth

**You:** Do you want to hear the truth? *_And nothing but the truth.*_

**Stranger:** yah

**You:** all they have taught you in school is a lie

**You:** I am Timo,

**You:** But I am the persona of Finland

**You:** I am Finland *_God, I love fucking with people*_

**Stranger:** whts tht supposed to mean

**You:** I am Finland

**You:** Every country has their own person,

**Stranger:** wht do u mean ur finland

**You:** Russia has Ivan, Finland has me, America has Alfred

**Stranger:** ur scaring me whose Alfred *_This is terrifying, isn't it fellow Hetalians?*_

**You:** Alfred F. Joans.

**You:** That is America

**You:** Your person.

**You:** Since you live in America, Alfred is the person who started America

**Stranger:** is this like a virtual game or somethin cuz thos isnt funny _*... Its not a video game...*_

**You:** I AM NOT LYING

**You:** I am dead serous

**You:** why do you think I'm lying?

**Stranger:** but omg ur not dead stop im not messing dude

**You:** I AM NOT MESSING WITH YOU

**You:** I AM SEROUS HERE

**Stranger:** my heart is like beating really fast _* Francis with you?*_

**You:** AND I AM NOT LYING

**You:** I am SO HONEST RIGHT NOW

**Stranger:** stop ur not funny like ur scaring me _* Bitch, I'm hilarious*_

**You:** I AM NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY _* Miranda, yes you are.*_

**You:** I am not trying to scare you

**You:** what is so scary about this?!

**Stranger:** then how r u txtin me _* Dumb*_

**You:** BECAUSE

**You:** I

**You:** AM

**You:** FINLAND

**You:** THEIR

**Stranger:** ur dead for one

**You:** PERSON

**You:** FOR THEM.

**You:** WE

**You:** ARE

**You:** all immortal

**Stranger:** ur not immortal do u hve like pyscological issues i need to k

**You:** NBOROIB _** I do this when I get frustrated XD** _

**You:** NO

**You:** I am so serous

**You:** I am as serous as a heart attack

**Stranger:** no ur messing then whts ur name

**You:** Timo

**You:** Tino Väinämöinen

**You:** a lot of people call me tino

**You:** rather than timo

**You:** I prefer Timo though

**Stranger:** ur not timo why cnt u be honest im like so sick of people like u why do u hve to lie

_**Why do you have to type like this?**_

**You:** OH

**You:** MY

**You:** GOD

**You:** I AM NOT LYING

**You:** YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE GETTING IT FROM THE SOURCE

**You:** I AM THE PERSON WHO IS IN ALL OF THIS

**You:** WHY ARE YOU SO STUBBORN?

**Stranger:** ur not dead nobody is immortal okay fine

**You:** We are

**You: **all the countries are

**You:** even if they fall, they still live

**Stranger:** am i being stalked then by this guy if ur immortal ud k

**You:** Who?...

**You:** Alfred?

**Stranger:** ur immortal u tell me whts hes name to

**You:** First of all, speak proper English please

**You:** and second, Alfred F. Joans

**Stranger:** okay RUDE and no YOU are NUTS

**You:** OK no I AM NOT RUDE AND YOU'RE STUPID OF YOU'RE NOT BELIEVING ME _** XD I'M ABOUT TO GO SHE-HAULK**_

**Stranger:** no explain it to me then

**You:** The hole system?

**Stranger:** what system are u talking about

**You:** OH MY GOD THE SYSTEM WITH THE PEOPLE AS THE COUNTRIES _** She is so slow -_-**_

**You:** like they are the TRUE founders of that country

**Stranger:** people are not countries do u have a kik and we can dicuss this properly

**You:** and this isn't properly?

**You:** Let me just do it here

**Stranger:** why is someone after you

**You:** because I'm a country

**You:** I have a lot of ports that people want _** Again, don't know much about Finland**_

**You:** so they can get money

**You:** by fishing and trade and all that

**Stranger:** i dont want ur useless money just ur kik so we can talk

**You:** I don't have a kik

**You:** nor do I want one

**Stranger:** you are killing me

** Stranger: **Wht are u why haven't I heard of u? _** Never heard of Finland?!_

**You:** YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF FINLAND

**Stranger:** i mean yah but not often

**You:** you mean my name?

**Stranger:** STOP dude ur freakin annoying make sense * _AND I'M BEIGN RUDE!?*_

**You:** YOU DONT MAKE SENSE YOU ANNOYING LITTEL BRAT _* And you could seriously hear me snap* _

**Stranger:** why are u doing this to me

**Stranger:** and im not a brat

**Stranger:** rude

**You:** AND YOU JUST CALLED ME ANNOYING AND ITS NOT RUDE?!

**You:** and I'm doing this because I want you to know the truth

**Stranger:** you called me a brat

**You:** no one really knows about the truth.

**You:** and you called me rude

**Stranger:** plus im not the one claiming im immortal

**You:** OH MY GOD

**You:** ITS THE FUCKING TRUTH

**You:** WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID

**You:** THIS IS WHAT THE WORLD DID TO YOU

**You:** LOOK AT YOU

**You:** YOU WONT TAKE THE TRUTH BECAUSE YOU KNOW TOO MUCH OF THE LIES

**Stranger:** im not stupid u dont make sense and ur lying to urself

**You:** Ok.

**You:** So I'm stupid

**You:** and I don't make sense

**You:** lets see here _ * LETS GO GRAMMAR NAZI!*_

**You:** I'm*

**You:** you*

**Stranger:** no idk i just dont understand

**You:** don't*

**You:** your*

**You:** yourself*

**You:** I don't know*

**You:** I*

**You:** don't*

**You:** AND I DONT MAKE SENSE HERE

**Stranger:** why are u being mean to me

**You:** you*

**You:** BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING RUDE TO ME

**You:** I MEAN I TRY TO LET YOU IN ON SOMETHING NO ONE ELSE DOES

**Stranger:** im sorry okay

**You:** AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?

**You:** ok... care to be let in the world of 'Hetalia'?

**You:** That's what we call it

**You:** Hetalia

**Stranger:** okay

**You:** ok

**You:** so

**You:** First of all,

**You:** All the countries in the world meet up EVERY month

**Stranger:** yah

**You:** at least once a month

**You:** we talk about everything

**Stranger:** okay

**Stranger:** like wht

**Stranger:** what

**You:** Its like all the presidents, rulers, and all that.

**Stranger:** yah

**You:** About wars, and that's all I can say

**Stranger:** tell me more please

**You:** Can't. I'll get caught. Already sort of saying too much as is

**You:** But every country has one person to rule it

**Stranger:** but we are strangers

**You:** I see something else in you.. *_ Couldn't think of something other than this.*_

**Stranger:** like what

**Stranger:** what do you see in me

**You:** I think you could become a country... *_ XD*_

**You:** I can sense these kinds of things

**You:** i can just talk to someone like this and feel it

**Stranger:** is that a good thing

**You:** it depends on how you look at it

**You:** anyway

**Stranger:** whats that supposed to mean

**You:** Russia has Ivan, America has Alfred, England has Arthur, and so forth

**You:** it means ask all questions at the end

**Stranger:** okay sorry

**You:** ok

**You:** Anyway

**You:** So since there is like 200 countries in the world, there are 200 people who run these countries

**You:** and I know them all.

**You:** I've talked to them all

**You:** And I fear some of them

**You:** I've been alive since my country started

**You:** and if you have that fucking attitude you will get destroyed as a country immediately

**You:** ANYWAY

**You:** any questions?

**Stranger:** yah

**Stranger:** okay

**Stranger:** so what did it mean when you said you see something in me

**You:** I think you could become a country, or a territory

**You:** but you need to grow the hell up if you want to do that * _I think I might have done something good rather than bad now**_

**You:** as soon as you become a country, you will drink some sort of liquid that glows and you'll become immortal

**Stranger:** okay in what part of the world:(

**You:** and you'll stay the age you became a country forever

**You:** i don't know

**You:** you're assigned a spot

**You:** The person who does that's name is Raddibaba * _XD RADDIBABA*_

**Stranger:** do you play viedo games like alot

**You:** no

**You:** I'm far too busy

**Stranger:** okay are you sure you dont need mental assistance _* I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested**_

**You:** positive

**You:** i am not making this up

**You:** I promise you this

**You:** this is real

**You:** Welcome to Hetalia, our world

**You:** or how we see this world

**Stranger:** do you hve a wife and kids

**You:** no

**You:** none of us do

**You:** we can only marry other countries

**Stranger:** king arthur did have a wife actually

**You:** Well because he was the person that represented the true ruler of England

**Stranger:** your facts dont add up " finland"

**You:** he can have kids and all

**You:** actually they do...

**Stranger:** hmmm "interesting"

**You:** kings , queens, presidents, etc, all are representing the true rulers of the country

**You:** they know of it, they just cant speak of it

**Stranger:** so obama knows about this too

**You:** yup

**Stranger:** so you wanna finish 20 questions

**You:** nope. I have to go

**You:** goodbye

**Stranger:** no

**You:** DONT GIVE INTO THE WORLDS LIES

**Stranger:** dont leave please _* Baby come back*_

**You:** I have to

**Stranger:** why

**You:** and you don't even believe me

**You:** so what's the point

**Stranger:** i do i will _**Oh? You do? **_

**Stranger:** i promise

**You:** do you really believe me? or are you just saying that?

**Stranger:** yes

**Stranger:** let me believe you _* LET ME?!*_

**You:** what do you mean LET me?

**Stranger:** convince me more you cant expect me to

**Stranger:** believe you tight away

**Stranger:** right*

**You:** WHAT ELSE CAN I TELL YOU?!

**Stranger:** im still human *_ Yes... and I'm still dog... -_-*_

**You:** I'VE TOLD YOU EVERYTHING

**You:** because

**You:** you haven't been selected yet

**You:** no one has privacy

**Stranger:** how do i get selected

**You:** Raddibaba spies on everyone, * _Raddibaba is my pimp.*_

**You:** him and his crew, looking for just the right person

**You:** you cant decline, you MUST accept

**Stranger:** what kind of person

**You:** I don't know really

**You:** we all are so different in so many ways

**You:** I don't know what he looks for

**Stranger:** how did they select you

**You:** When I was 17, I was sent to this camp thing the said I was selected for,

**You:** and there was a hole mess of other kids that where with me

**You:** but it was back in the 12th century, so we all walked there

**You:** and the other kids where apart of Raddibaba's crew

**You:** and they told me some things, and forced me to drink this weird tasting glowing shit

**You:** and I glowed from my eyes, mouth and all and I became immortal

**You:** and, a new country

**Stranger:** how do you know he is still looking for more people

**You:** because we have world meetings and we get updated constantly

**Stranger:** what does that mean

**You:** we get messages from him and he keeps saying that he is looking at a possible person

**You:** he doesn't give out name

**You:** names*

**Stranger:** no you cant decline you must except

**You:** oh yeah

**You:** you can not say no

**You:** If you do I imagine they kill you or something because you know too much

**Stranger:** wait they are going to kill me

**You:** ***if you say no

**Stranger:** why would they do that is hitler in on this too

**You:** no?

**You:** THEY DONT WANT IT GETTING AROUND _ ** That's why I told you everything ^.^**_

**You:** THIS SYSTEM HAS BEEN HERE SINCE COUNTRIES WERE MADE

**Stranger:** are you a christian or were you before all of this

**You:** 12 century

**You:** I've been here for a while

**Stranger:** well do you still believe

**You:** Yes.

**You:** But do you believe me?

**Stranger:** YES

**You:** Welcome to the our world of 'Hetalia' :3

**You:** Now, any questions

**Stranger:** so is raddibaba going to come after me since i know

**You:** no

**You:** you just cant tell ANYONE

**You:** or you WILL DIE

**You:** and since he watches you, be fucking careful

**Stranger:** is he going to hurt ypu

**You:** no

**You:** probably not

**Stranger:** i hope not i kinda like you

**You:** well that's nice ^.^

**You:** Well i got to to go,

**You:** I'm Timo

**You:** A.k.a Finland

**You:** When you become a country,

**You:** talk to me and we will become Allies ^.^

**Stranger:** timo okay bye timo

**You:** P.S- You get to name your country

**Stranger:** i love you

**You:** I do not return these feelings.

You have disconnected.

* * *

All haul the all mighty Raddibaba!

I love fucking with people :3

Sorry if this isn't like Timo, but I'll probably do him over. This was fun!


	12. Gilbert!(Prussia)

Character being Role-played- Gilbert!(Prussia!)

First one-

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hey!

**Stranger:** hi:D

**You:** What's up?!

**Stranger:** im listening to music

**You:** nice

**You:** I'm just being awesome. like normal

**Stranger:** cool

**You:** yup.

**You:** So, what's your name?

**Stranger:** im Bella

**You:** Nice name Bella

**You:** I'm Gilbert

**You:** Nice to meet you

**Stranger:** are you Gilbert Hardy

**You:** No? lol

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Well then!

Number Two-

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like Hetalia.

**You:** Hey!

**You:** What's up? I'm Gilbert

**Stranger:** Hey, Gilly! Its Al!

**You:** Alfred!?

**You:** HEY MAN

**You:** YOU'RE APART OF THE AWESOME TRIO WITH ME

**You:** awesome.

**You:** but not as awesome as me

**Stranger:** Excuuuuuuse me!?

**You:** YOU KNOW MANNERS?!

**Stranger:** I am MORE awesome then you

**Stranger:** BYATCH

**You:** OH

**Stranger:** YEAH

**You:** OH?

**Stranger:** *SNASSY SNAP*

**Stranger:** MMMMMHHMMMMMM

**You:** * MOVES HEAD SASSY LIKE*

**You:** NO UH

**You:** you're not that awesome

**You:** I am God of the awesome

**Stranger:** I AM THE BRUCE LEE OF AWESOME. I /AM/ GOD.

**You:** YOU

**You:** ARE

**You:** NOT

**You:** IF ANYONE IS GOD, IT WILL BE ME

**You:** AND MY GODDESS WILL BE GILBIRD

**Stranger:** BITCH

**Stranger:** BITCH

**You:** SLUT

**Stranger:** BITCH

**You:** SLUT

**Stranger:** BITCH

**Stranger:** BITCH

**Stranger:** NO

**You:** SLUT

**You:** SLUT

**You:** YES

**You:** yess...

**Stranger:** BITCH

**You:** slut

**Stranger:** BITCH

**Stranger:** BITCH

**You:** LONG TITTY NO NIPPLE BITCH

**Stranger:** WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING?

**You:** WHAT DO YOU WANT

**You:** NREIBREINB I DONT KNOW

**You:** BUT WHATEVER IT IS

**You:** I'M STILL THE AWESOME ONE OUT OF THIS

**You:** baby, I'm sorry

**You:** Alfy, please forgive me

**Stranger:** I love you, Gilgil.

**Stranger:** Wait

**Stranger:** what

**Stranger:** I

**Stranger:** What the

**You:** yes?...

**Stranger:** ...Why did I say that?...

**You:** ... Because its true?

**Stranger:** _

**You:** ... B-b-but you're with... HIM

**Stranger:** Who?

**You:** YOU'RE STILL WITH ARTHUR

**You:** ARENT YOU?

**Stranger:** ...Nah.

**You:** OR THAT FUCKING RUSSIAN *Cries*

**Stranger:** Iggy said screw off a long time ago

**Stranger:** And the commie slapped me.

**Stranger:** So I'm single

**Stranger:** :P

**You:** ... Do... do you want to be with me? That would be really awesome...

**You:** like awesomer than me

**Stranger:** ...Fore real?

**You:** For real... I... I think I love you, Alfred

**Stranger:** ...Well then um...

**Stranger:** *le kisses cheek*

**You:** * Blushes*

**You:** I bet you want the 5 meters...

**Stranger:** ...That is a lie.

**Stranger:** I bet its 8 meters w

**You:** You NEED the 5 meters?

**You:** It is

**You:** I just tell people 5 so they believe me

**Stranger:** Hmmm... Well then~ *kisses him deeply*

**You:** oh my~

**You:** * Kisses back*

**You:** You taste like cheeseburgers3

**Stranger:** You taste like beer~ 3

**You:** That's probably because of my toothpaste

**You:** My kisses are intoxicating

**Stranger:** I want...

**Stranger:** I need another kiss~

**You:** * kisses lips harshly*

**You:** does that stop your cravings?

**Then they left me...**

* * *

Sexy~ XD


	13. Im Young Soo!(SKorea)

Character being Role-played- Im Young Soo!( )

And at the end of this, I have a question to ask you guys.

Enjoy, this guy was a little scared.

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**Stranger:** hello

**You:** your breasts

**You:** I HAVE CLAIMED THEM

**You:** THEY ARE MINE DA-ZEE

**Stranger:** ok...

**You:** so, since they are mine now, LET ME TOUCH THEM :D

**Stranger:** well im a guy but i mean whatever ok

**You:** Yay!

**You:** *grabs boob*

**You:** I claimed my brothers

**You:** I'm used to man boobs.

**You:** Kiku had it coming anyway,

**You:** Nice and soft you have

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Then meh baby left meh!

I did this idea again, and I'm glad I did!

Part Two-

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You: **YOUR BREASTS

**You: **THEY ARE MINE

**Stranger: **I'm a guy

**You: I** HAVE CLAIMED THEM

**You: **and?

**You: I** still have my brothers

**Stranger: Oh okay**

**You: I like them man tittes**

**You: so sir * grabs boob***

**You: whats your name?**

**Stranger: James, what's yours**

**You: Im Young Soo**

**You: Call me Young Soo**

**You: I'm Korean**

**Stranger: *puts your other hand on my breast* that's cool**

**You: I like where this is going**

**You: So where are you from? * Rubs in a circular motion***

**Stranger: Oregon *puts my hand your breast* hby?**

**You: South Korea of course**

**You: Sorry but you cant claim mine.**

**You: mine are off the market**

**Stranger: Too late**

**You: oh?**

**Stranger: I claim them for myself**

**You: You do Da-zee?**

**You: but... what if he finds out?**

**Stranger: It's okay if he finds out**

**You: He needs to.**

**You: I invented boob tag**

**You: and we're playing it right now**

**You: do you like it?**

**Stranger: Lets play more!**

**Stranger: Lets my hunt the zipper**

**You: oh hunt the zipper!**

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

I don't know why everyone's leaving me ._.

* * *

img src=" " width="220" height="57" alt="Talk to strangers!"

**24,593** strangers online

Original text

Contribute a better translation

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** YOUR BREASTS

**Stranger:** ey asl?

**You:** I HAVE CLAIMED THEM

**Stranger:** im a man

**You:** THEY ARE MINE DA-ZE

**You:** I don't care

**You:** i have my brothers'

**Stranger:** i have pussy tho

**You:** didn't suspect a thing ;3

**Stranger:** ? what?

**Stranger:** suck me?

**You:** b-b-but you a man...

**You:** no?...

**Stranger:** tranny

**You:** I INVENTED CONFUSION

**You:** oh that's nice man

**Stranger:** haha im trolling

**You:** well that's fantastic Da-Zee

**Stranger:** im a female

**You:** your breasts, they are still mine

**Stranger:** haha okay

**You:** I have my brothers as mine, and yours are too

**Stranger:** lol ...

**You:** * puts hand on one of your boobs*

**You:** so hows it going

**Stranger:** *slaps You *

**Stranger:** kik ?

**You:** * puts hand back on boob* They are mine

**You:** how is it going?

**Stranger:** lol

**You:** No KIK FOR YOU

**Stranger:** good & You ?

**You:** great. I got more breasts!

**You:** where ya from?

**Stranger:** add me newyorkbadkid lol

**You:** no

**Stranger:** new york

**You:** where are you from?

**You:** oh

**You:** nice

**You:** South Korea

**Stranger:** cool

**You:** yup. Name?

**Stranger:** stefani

**Stranger:** u¿

**You:** Im Young Soo

**You:** just call me Young Soo

**Stranger:** okay

**Stranger:** age?

**You:** 16

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** cool 18

**You:** oh nice.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

This was fun ^.^

Anyway, the question I wanted to ask is if there should be more lemons on this site? Yes, or no?


	14. Author's Note Number 3!

I'm so sorry if you thought this was an update. But I just wanted you guys to know that since I started a new series, I will have my time more into that then this. But I will work on this when I can. I promise!

I'm so sorry! I will still be taking request and hording them for when I can get to them. But after this series I'm making now, I think for a month or two I will just make a bunch of one shots and all of them.

Thanks for your understanding.

~Miranda


	15. Let Poland Expalin! Plus, a little play

Ok, um like hey! Miranda really wanted me to like tell you that she got banned from Omegle like a total dumbass. Yeah, its like, super funny to her at first then she was all like 'NO! THE ONLY TIME I HAVE WHERE I CAN UPDATE!" then she like totally banged her head on the keyboard. So, in a alternative, she really, REALLY want's to make it up to you guys because she's like feeling SUPER bad about it. I mean she like, promised you she would do this when she can. And it looks like it wont be any time soon! And I'm just like, well damn.

So, what would you guys like to see? Any request for a lemon or something? But this chapter will be like special to you guys. But she like had to write it in play form.

But just another thing, she really things she got banned when I'm Young Soo went on because he was going "YOUR BREAST, THEY ARE MINE." And when she typed in and entered breast, this like weird stuff popped up saying " Gay Cam" or " She's kinky" or " No Bra" and last, but not least " Sexy".

But again, Miranda is like super doper sorry, but here is something she wanted to make up for you guys.

OH! And she'll talk to you after all this mess

~Poland

* * *

How Arthur Became a Stripper

*_Strong language*_

Arthur- So Alfred, how was your day?

Alfred- Hmm? * Stuffs dry scones in his mouth*

Arthur- DONT EAT THEM LIKE THAT YOU'LL CHOKE! * Alfred starts choking* HOLY BLOODY HELL! * Continues to sit there, watching his little brother choke on nasty scones he made*

Alfred- *Finally done choking* OK, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU PUT IN THESE?!

Arthur- The usual you burger loving fat man!

Alfred- I'm not fat, I'm fluffy! Hell, I'm not fluffy! * Stands on table* I'm buff.

Arthur- sit down.

Alfred- No.

Arthur- You're not buff.

Alfred- YES I AM! LOOK *Holds arms up in pose* ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ I'm the buffest bitch you know.

Arthur- I just saw your arm fat do a dance for me.

Alfred- I HAVE NO ARM FAT. ITS JUST SAGGY MUSCLES FROM ME BEING SO BUFF MY BODIES LIKE " Ehh... We can't hang onto to all dis." then its just like 'surrender'.

Arthur- you are so idiotic, where did I go wrong with you?

Alfred- I don't know I think I'm alright.

Arthur- I could use a drink. Want to go to the pub? * Asks standing up from his chair*

Alfred- Hell yeah. Lets go~

~At the Pub~

Arthur- then that bloody git didn't even look me in the eye, he just ATE MY FUCKING MUFFIN AND STARTED AT ME, MOCKING ME.

Alfred-... What?

Arthur- THAT DUMBASS RABBIT. That is why I ate him.

Alfred- Wait... what was the rabbits name?...

Arthur- Blue I think, I made him into a sheepherder's pie. I ate the hole *hiccup* thing by myself while you slept.

Alfred- *Disgusted face* Dude, that was my rabbit! YOU TOLD ME HE RAN AWAY!

Arthur- He ran away alright.

Alfred- He was so awesome! He was my little buddy. I can't believe you ate him! * Tears in eyes*

Arthur- But he ate my muffins...

Alfred- I bet that's how he really died you bastard!

Arthur- Probably. I mean, I remember those muffins were pretty bad.

Alfred- ALL YOUR MUFFINS ARE BAD.

Arthur- And so is your muffin.

Alfred- what muffin?

Arthur- YOU MUFFIN TOP! *Drunkenly laughs*

Alfred- you're an ass. You're a big hunk of Antonio's ass.

Arthur- Oh whatever. You'll die soon anyway.

Alfred- shut the fuck up man.

Arthur- Oh bloody fuck, give me a dollar, please.

Alfred- Why the hell do you think I'll give you a dollar after all these fucking fat jokes, eating my rabbit, AND SHITTING ON MY DREAMS?!

Arthur- How do I shit on dreams?... If I knew how, I would do it on yours. A massive one. And speaking of shit, how are you? Didn't ask that today.

Alfred- go work for your fucking money.

Arthur- Hang on * Hiccups and burps in Alfred's face* I'm going to WalMart...

~At WalMart~

Some Random Bitch- Excuse me sir.

Arthur- * Hiccup*

Some Random Bitch - SIR!

Arthur- * Turns head sharply, angry face.* WHAT?!

Some Random Bitch- You've been standing here for thirty minutes, not moving. I hope you realize that you are in the women's section.

Arthur- I know! Don't judge me! Just leave!

Some Random Bitch- Bu-

Arthur- Leave...

Some Random Bitch- * Walks away slowly, Arthur still eyeing her.*

~Back at the Pub~

Alfred- Yeah I don't know where he is.

Bar Tender- Oh, well he owes me like 50 bucks. Maybe he can pay me back tonight.

Alfred- Yeah mayb-

Arthur- * Opens door, standing proudly in his black nylons, no top, a black bow tie, black high heels, and black leather underwear that have straps around the hips to hold them up.* Boys~ * Walks in , swinging his hips.

Alfred- What are you doing!?

Arthur- Well you said I needed to work for my dollar. * Stands up on table*

Alfred- Ok. What the fuck. Dude, you're drunk. Go home. Let's go, we're leaving.

Arthur- What? No! I want some money! * Starts swinging hips.*

Alfred- No! Come ON! You're embarrassing me! * Grab's Arthur by the arm, pulling him off the table and falling to the ground.*

Random Guy 1- HEY! DONT TREAT A LADY LIKE THAT!

Alfred- * With an 'are you kidding me' look* He's a dude.

Random guy 2- Well we like his company!

Arthur- *Stands up, smiling, throwing his arms out* I was made for entertaining!

Random guy 1- yes you were baby.

Alfred- This is fucking ridiculous. * Says as he sits back down at the bar, putting his head in his hands as he watches his brother dance on a table*

Random guy 2- Hey baby, why don't you take off one of your nylons?

Arthur- 5 bucks!

Random guy 2- I got this * Hand's him the money*

Arthur- * Puts it on the table as he starts to take off one nylon teasingly.*

Random guy 1- WHY DONT YOU TAKE IT ALL OFF?!

Arthur- 60 bucks!

Random guy 1 & 2- DEAL! * Starts shooting out money as Arthur takes off all of his clothes that he had on*

Arthur- (Thinking) ' This gives good money. I bet I can do this to get a lot more cash.

Random guy 1 & 2- TWERK IT!

Arthur- *Starts Twerking*

Alfred- * Sees Arthur Twerking* OH MY GOD!

Random guy 1 & 2- * Throwing money like crazy*

Arthur- (Thinking) I have the power! * Twerks harder and faster*

Random guy coming in- Dat. ASS

~ Next Morning~

Arthur- Ahhh... What happened last night? * Rolls over but falls on his living room floor.

Alfred- You became a fucking stripper at the pub last night.

Arthur- Oh... How much money did I make?

Alfred- About 400 bucks.

Arthur- Sign me up, for every Saturday night. They will be my good nights.

_**~Fin~**_

* * *

Hello! It's Miranda this time

Sorry if you were expecting something less... this, but I got banned from Omegle.

I thought it was funny, but now I'm like ' Damn it!"

I'm really sorry, this weeks been pretty stress full anyway. The new series I posted got reported for some odd reason. So I re- uploaded it BUT to be a smart ass I'm putting a warning on everything.

But if you want more play things like this just ask and I will. I don't let fans go un-noticed.

If you have any requests for anything, just ask and 99.9% of the time I'll do it.

But I'm not easy like Iggy, he should have listened to Alfred!

Bye~


	16. Fun and games till someone gets raped

Hey, Felisk again! Hey girl, how you doing? Anyway, me and Miranda are like toats besties now, along with Toris, but he got sick. So, he's at home for now. But anyway, here's the next little play thing. Its like, totally awesome and she like totally likes writing them because she laughs at her self while she does.

But anyway, enjoy this shit man.

~Poland

* * *

Rodrich- LET ME PLAY MY PIANO! * Sits back on his chair, playing the piano softly as Gilbert looks at him with a thrown off face*

Gilbert- Alright, look. Whens was the last time you loosened up?

Rodrich- Leave my presents at once, peasant!

Gilbert- No, you will loosen up. I will find away! I WILL BECAUSE I'M SO AWESOME! Kesesesesese~

Rodrich- you keep thinking that. Now, LET ME PLAY MY FUCKING MOZART!

Gilbert- Fine! I'll be back in a little bit!

~Gilbert at a mysterious spot~

Gilbert- So, Ludwig, do you have the stuff I called you for? * walks over to Ludwig, hand out asking for it.*

Ludwig- Yeah... Why do you need this shit anyway?!

Gilbert-WHY DO YOU NEED THIS SHIT?!

Ludwig- Bruder, CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Here * hands the little baggy to Gilbert* Have fun... I guess...

Gilbert- Kesesesese... Thanks.

~Back at Rodrich's house~

Gilbert- HEY! STUCK UP BITCH! * walking up the steps to go to his piano room*

Rodrich- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I AM NOT A STUCK UP BITCH YOU COCKY ASS BASTARD!

Gilbert- Cool your tittes. I'm sorry. But do you want some tea? I'll make you some if you'd like.

Rodrich- well, to release my stresses, yes. I'd love some please. * Smiling slightly*

Gilbert- Ok! I'll be back! * walks back down the steps, going to the kitchen*

Gilbert- He wont expect a thing! * Get's out a tea pot, filling it with water, letting it boil then adding the tea bags.*

* Flying bunny time skip to when the tea is done doing its deal.*

Gilbert- *Adds one piece of the stuff that was in the bag* Hmm... maybe some more... *Puts tablets on the counter, takes out knife and mashes them up. He scooped up the powder, putting it in the hot tea, stirring it up.* There... * smiling evilly*

Gilbert- *walks up the stairs* GOT YOUR TEA! * Walks in room, handing him the tea*

Rodrich- Thank you, Gilbert. This is very kind of you * Takes sip of tea*

Gilbert- Anytime pal... Anytime..

~30 minutes later~

Rodrich- Holy shit, its so hot in here. Mind if I take off my shirt?

Gilbert- Nope, not at all * Smiles*

Rodrich- oh good. * Takes off shirt* I have the sudden erg to dance.. * Sways hips gently*

Gilbert- Want me to play some music? * Goes to the laptop, getting on youtube*

Rodrich- yeah... Yeah, yeah! YEAH! Do that now! * starts to swing shoulders gently with his hips*

Gilbert- Ok, I am calm down. * Turns on disco pogo*

Rodrich- *Throws hands in the air, swaying hips faster in a small circle* YEAH! WOAH!

Gilbert- *laughing* GO RODRICH!

Rodrich- *Swings hips in a slow, large circle. Arms still in the air, swinging them with the circle of his hips* Its REALLY hot in here! Is it? Oh my god... Why... why am I so * Puts hands on his face, sticking as up* WHY AM I SO BEAUTIFUL!?

Gilbert- * Laughing hysterically* KESESESESESESESESESE~ I- I (laughs) I don't know, Rodrich! BUT KEEP SWINGING THEM HIPS!

Rodrich- BECAUSE MY HIPS DONT LIE!

Gilbert- * Throwing his head up and down, a soundless laugh* WRONG SONG!

Rodrich- Oh... DISCO POGO! DING- A - LING - A - LING! * Stops dancing and just stands there with his face long, looking confused, his hand resting on his waist as the other in his hair, messing it up.*

Gilbert- Wh-why'd you stop?...

Rodrich- Its too hot... * Starts to take off pants* IT'S TOO HOT! * Whiny voice*

Gilbert- MEIN GOTT! KESESESESESESESESE~

Rodrich- Awhhwwww..! The cool air, hitting my body~ * Says seductively, rubbing hands over his chest*

Gilbert- No, I'm not going to have any sex with you! * Starts laughing*

Rodrich- I didn't ask for sex, silly! I just want to DANCE! But its still, so fucking hot! * Stands up and starts taking boxers off, making Gilbert die*

Gilbert- DFBNRDIBNIORNEIBIORENBIOERN RODRICH! NO, NO , NO ! * dying of laughter* PUT YOUR UNDERWEAR BACK ON!

Rodrich- Aww! No! I want company! Please dance with me! * Gets on table, naked, standing there*

Gilbert- No... I rather watch... this is interesting...

Rodrich- Fine then, watch these hips! * swings hips, throwing his arms in the air, cutting lose* WOAH! YEAH! PARTY! NEW FUCKING SONG NOW PLEASE!

Gilbert- Ok! * Play's sexting by Blood on the Dance Floor*

Rodrich- OH THIS IS MY JAM! * Starts jumping on the table, throwing head side to side, fist in the air* ( My I mention still naked...)

Gilbert- I've created a monster...

Rodrich- THIS SONG MAKES ME HORNY! * Stops, eyes half lidded*

Gilbert- No! * Backs in the corner* NO! NO! NO!

Rodrich-... * gets closer into his face, smiling* What does no mean?..

Gilbert- YOU KNOW WHAT IT ME- AHHHH! * Rodrich playing with the outside of his boxers in 'that' spot*

Rodrich- Not in my vocabulary...

~After the incident A.K.A the next morning~

Gilbert- * sitting in the corner in a ball, only in his socks*

Rodrich- * laying on the floor on his stomach, naked and sprawled out* Ugh... what happened last night?... * Sees that he's naked* AH! WHY AM I NAKED!?

Gilbert - BECAUSE YOU FUCKED ME!

Rodrich- WHY!?

Gilbert- * Face looks apologetic* Because... I wanted you to let go a little bit... so I got some ecstasy... I'm sorry

Rodrich- so... you drugged me... JUST SO I'D HAVE FUN!?

Gilbert- I'M REALLY SORRY MAN. I'M SORRY!

Rodrich- its fine I guess.. * puts hand on forehead, rubbing soothing circles on it* Fine... DO NOT TELL ANYONE!

Gilbert- *sitting up still naked, putting hands up in defense* No problem there!

Rodrich- Good... NOW GO GET SOME CLOTHES ON!

Gilbert- Aww... kind of hoping for round two! Kesesesesese~

Rodrich- * Gives evil glare*

Gilbert- ok... sorry...

* * *

This didn't go how I really wanted, but oh well. I like the title XD

Bye, I'll be doing more plays till I get un-banned!

Bye my belle's ;3


	17. Mathis!(Denmark) Welcome back chats!

Hello, this is Miranda!

Everyone else is at a world meeting. Poland and Toris left me ;-;

I'm too sick to go, or I would. ( Well I would go to school but fuck that shit )

So today, I'm left here. With my headphones, computer, bed and blanket and I couldn't be happier. AND OMEGLE FINALLY UN-BANNED ME!

But to congratulate myself, I thought I'd make a chat. Since I have nothing better to do.

And I'll let you guys decide. Do you want plays, Omegle, or both?

* * *

Character being Role- Played- Mathis! ( Denmark)

Enjoy~

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello!

**Stranger:** hi

**You:** how are you?!

**Stranger:** fine! you?

**You:** GREAT. I'M GLAD YOU'RE GOOD

**You:** so what's your name?

**Stranger:** WAHAY! m or f

**You:** I ASKED YOUR NAME

**You:** I WILL TELL YOU IF I HAVE A VIGINA OR A PENIS IN A SECOND

**Stranger:** I ASKED YOUR GENDER

**You:** I ASKED YOUR NAME

**You:** DJKVJUEVIN

**Stranger:** my name is klaus

**You:** My names is Mathis and I have a penis

**Stranger:** ahhhhhhh

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

NUMBER TWO

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hey

**Stranger:** hey

**Stranger:** asl plz?

**You:** 17 m Denmark

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** 15 f alabama

**Stranger:** ************* is my kik (*(*( Didn't want to show it)*)*)

**You:** I

**You:** Oh

**Stranger:** send dick pictures right away

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

I. LOVED THIS ONE!

Send dem dick pics XD

Number three~

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** HI

**Stranger:** hi

**Stranger:** m

**Stranger:** u

**You:** I am whatever the FUCK I WANT TO BE

**You:** NO GENDER CAN HOLD ME BACK

**You:** I CAN BE A STRONG INDEPENDENT MOTHER FUCKER WITHOUT IT

**You:** * takes another beer* FUCK YOU GENDER

**You:** FUCK

**You:** YOU

**You:** I AM WHAT I WANT TO BE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Mhmm... PREACH IT!

Number four~ ( nothing better to do)

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hi

**Stranger:** hey

**Stranger:** asl

**You:** 17 m Denmark

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** 15 f new jersey

**You:** nice

**You:** So, how are you

**Stranger:** good

**Stranger:** hbu

**You:** great :D

**You:** Got a beer, and I'm awesome

**You:** name?

**Stranger:** loo

**Stranger:** loo

**Stranger:** virinia

**Stranger:** virginia

**You:** typo much?...

**Stranger:** lol i mess up alot

**You:** I can see

**You:** XD

**You:** My names Mathis

**Stranger:** are you porny

**You:** Porny?

**You:** YES

**You:** I AM A PORN STAR

**You:** IF THATS WHAT YOU MEAN

**Stranger:** lol

**Stranger:** so if we kik you would send me nude

**Stranger:** ;)

**Stranger:** ;);)

**You:** Um why

**You:** PROVE TO ME

**Stranger:** prove to you?

**You:** WHY YOU SHOULD SEE MY DICK

**You:** impress me

**Stranger:** yup;)

**Stranger:** are you hot

**You:** Very

**Stranger:** loo

**Stranger:** lol

**You:** I have muscles

**You:** 6 pack,

**You:** and shit

**Stranger:** whats your kik

**You:** don't get it in till you impress me

**You:** sorry

**You:** just how I roll ~

**Stranger:** what do you want from me

**Stranger:** XD

**You:** Just try to impress me!

**You:** SHOW ME YOU'RE FUNNY

**You:** SHOW ME YOU HAVE A SEXY SIDE

**Stranger:** go fuck yourself

**You:** Impress the King of the North~

**You:** OK

**You:** :d

**You:** MORE THAN HAPPY TO

**Stranger:** again suck the DDD

**You:** I WILL SUCK BERWALD

**You:** HE'S A SEXY MOFO ANYWAY

**Stranger:** god like wtf do you even have a job

**You:** YES I DO

**You:** ITS CALLED MAKING BITCHES LIKE YOU MAD

**Stranger:** WHY

**You:** BECAUSE

**You:** I LOVE FUCKING WITH PEOPLE

**Stranger:** STOP TALKING TO BITCHES LIKE YOU

**You:** GIRL, DAFUQ YOU SAYING?

**You:** I'M NOT THE BITCH

**You:** YOU THE BITCH HERE IF ANYTHING

**Stranger:** WTFUQ

**You:** you. are. a. so. simple

**Stranger:** your mom

**Stranger:** wtf

**You:** *Stands up and starts clapping*

**You:** CONGRATS

**You:** YOU JUST GAVE ME A SIXTH GRADER COME BACK

**Stranger:** bitch

**Stranger:** fuck you

**Stranger:** go suck a dick

**You:** Ok

**You:** let your anger out

**You:** let it flow like a river

**Stranger:** no wonder this is your job

**You:** yes

**You:** I'm very good at it

**You:** I have proof, and you're some of that proof

**Stranger:** what the fuck you are like a 8th grader

**You:** No

**Stranger:** hhhmmh

**You:** I AM FUCKING 17 BITCH

**Stranger:** and im 15 bitch

**You:** oooooo

**Stranger:** whas up

**Stranger:** OOOOO

**You:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**You:** I SHOULD BE SCARED OF A FUCKING KID LIKE YOU

**Stranger:** I BET YOU HAVE A SMALL PENIS SO THATS WHY YOU GET YOUR ANGET OUT WOTH CAPITAL KETTERS

**You:** WAIT

**You:** WAIT

**You:** YOU ARE A WHORE BECAUSE YOU WANTED MY KIK

**You:** SO

**You:** YOU PROBABLY WANTED TO SEXT ME

**Stranger:** SO

**You:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO

**You:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO

**You:** YOU A HOE

**Stranger:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**You:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Stranger:** THANK you i know

**You:** DADDY WOULD BE PROUD

**Stranger:** your a bitch

**You:** I know

**You:** AND ALSO

**You:** KING OF THE FUCKING NORTH

**Stranger:** and my dad died 3 days ago

**Stranger:** so.

**You:** So. you are on Omegle trying to get kiks XD

**You:** MAKES PERFECT SENSE

**You:** instead of being sad, you like ' Better flash dem tittes"

**You:** AM I RIGHT?

**Stranger:** go fuck ur mom cuz you have no life k

**You:** I have a life

**You:** and my mom died 3 days ago

**You:** so.

**You:** sixth grader come back anytime soon?...

**You:** trying to think of one, aren't you?

* * *

Enjoyed?! I HOPE SO!

But sorry, no play today. Miranda cant think of a good one...

Since she didn't go to school today, she didn't think about them. She says she comes up with her best idea's in school, and before she goes to bed.

But, there might be one tomorrow.

AND the request can start coming once again!

Have a AWESOME night!

~ Gilbert


	18. Feli!(NItaly) Bloody Mary Escape

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello! ^.^

**Stranger:** hi

**You:** How are you?!

**Stranger:** im horny you

**You:** I'm sitting on my laptop, talking to a horny person!

**You:** how can you be horny?

**You:** You're part antelope or something?

**Stranger:** a women make me horny

**Stranger:** wanna make me cum

**You:** women make you grow horns?

**You:** Wanna make you cum where?...

**You:** GERMANY!

**You:** HELP!

**You:** I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

**You:** You're scaring me for real! * Waves white flag*

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

I might do more for Feli, but I wanted to start this play I thought of.

Anyway, here you go~

* * *

~Bloody Mary Escape~

Funny in some parts, but more horror :3

Francis- This sleepover is boring! We should play a super fun game!

Vlad- Yeah! Lets play a scary game. * Smirking with that fang hanging out*

Arthur- Ok, lets do that. What do you have in mind?

Alfred- OH OH OH! BLOODY MARY! OH! No! Catstrach! Sandman! Baby Blue, Baby Blue!

Arthur- Alfred! Cool your tittes. We'll all vote on it. * Looks at Vlad, Francis, Alfred, Matthew ( Yes he was invited), Ivan ( him too) Gilbert, and Kiku* What do you guys want to play?

Kiku- How about Bloody Mary? I've never played that.

Gilbert- Well what the fuck is 'Baby Blue, Baby Blue?'

Alfred- WHA?! You've never heard of it!? Well its where you go into a bathroom, lock the door, and hold your arms like you're holding a baby, then say baby blue like 13 times then it'll be like a baby is in your arms. It gets heavier and heavier and the baby starts scratching you. Then this really ugly woman will come in the mirror and scream 'GIVE ME THE BABY!" then you need to throw it in the toilet and flush it or she'll kill you.

Kiku- Oh! In Nihon we have a game like that! It's called ' The Slight Mouth Woman'

Arthur- Sounds terrifying..

Alfred- Not really. Its really funny! That bitch was screaming at me like crazy!

Ivan- I could have bet her with my pipe ^J^ * Smiles happily*

Matthew- I-I-Ivan! You couldn't do that! She's a ghost... ( Whispers)

Ivan- *Turns around* Oh! Hello Matthew. Glad to see you could make it!

Arthur- Anyway, Blood Mary it is then?

Vlad- Yup! Lets all go into the bathroom and do it together!

Francis- Ohonhonhonhon~

Arthur- FRANCIS I SWEAR IF YOU TOUCH MY ASS LIKE YOU DID LAST TIME

Francis- I didn't mean to! Kiku ran into me! Don't blame me!

Kiku- WHA!? Don't pull me into this!

Vlad- I sense sexual frustration between you two * Says getting in between Arthur and Francis*

Arthur- * Looks at him with his signature irritated face* Who the hell do you think you are?!

Vlad- I can sense these things you know. It's not my fault you two cant confess your feelings. * Walks away with Francis and Arthur staring at him oddly. He looks behind him.* Coming?

* Everyone follows him, going into the small bathroom.*

Vlad- * Standing in front of the mirror like everyone else, Matthew and Ivan stood in the back, Arthur, Francis, Gilbert and Kiku in the middle row and Alfred and Vlad up at the front* Ok, everyone know the rules?

Gilbert- No. How do you play? The awesome me will understand.

Alfred- Dude, its not very complicated. What you do is turn off the lights, say bloody Mary 3 times and she will be in the mirror when you turn the lights back on. I think she can kill you... not sure..

Vlad- * Saying matter of factly* You need to have one lit candle , too*

Matthew- W-w-what!? I don't want to die!

Ivan- It's ok , Mattie. I'll protect you. * Smiles down at Matthew who is blushing*

Arthur- Lets get this thing started already * voice kind of shaky*

Vlad- Ok! Alfred, lights if you will?

Alfred- *Turning off the lights, The candle in Vlad's hands*

Vlad- Ok, one, two three...

Everyone- Bloody Mary... Bloody Mary... Bloody Mary...

Vlad- Alfred... lights again please?

Alfred- *Turning the lights back on*

Mathew- * Opening eyes, scared* O-oh... oh my GOD!

Everyone else- *opening their eyes*

Gilbert- HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK! * Pushes everyone out of the way to leave*

Bloody Mary- NO ONE LEAVES!

Vlad- So its true!

Alfred- * Face horrified* Oh my gosh... VLAD! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE WE DONE!

Arthur- THIS SHIT ISNT FUNNY! WHO PULLED THIS PRANK!?

Francis- I'M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!

Bloody Mary- Why have you summand me?! Why have you awoken me from my rest?! * Everyone was silent, but there was a lot of heavy breathing* You all will die!

Matthew- NOOOOO! * Pushes everyone out of the way with great force, running out of the bathroom leaving the door wide open for everyone else as they ran out too. *

Bloody Mary- HEY GET BACK HERE!

Kiku- OH MY GOD OH MY GOD AHHHHHHHHH! * Flying down the stairs*

Alfred- KIKU, KIKU, KIKU FOLLOW ME! WE'RE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE! * Runs to front door* EVERYONE COME ON! * Pulls on the front door as everyone gathered around them. But when Alfred pulled on the door, it wouldn't open*

Arthur- Pull harder! Come on!

Alfred- CALM DOWN DUDE ITS NOT OPENING! AH! * Hears soft foot steps coming down the stairs. Everyone's head whipped around to see a woman in a long white dress, her hair long and black and her face hideous.*

Bloody Mary- I'm here...!

Ivan- DIE BITCH! * Throws lead pipe at her, hits her in the head*

Bloody Mary- Why are you such a dick?... That hurt man! Even though I'm a ghost, I can still fell that! * Throws it back at Ivan who catches it in his hands.*

Matthew- I-I-I-Ivan! I'm scared!

Ivan- Don't show the enemy fear. * Says as his face was still stern, looking at her*

Alfred- * runs away from the door, everyone following him*

Bloody Mary- Damn it... Should have stayed active!

~ In The Closet, were they are hiding~

Gilbert- We should break off in teams! * His heart ponding, his hands shaky along with his voice*

Alfred- Good idea! Ok so here whats going on, I'll be with Kiku, Gilbert be with Vlad, Francis you'll be with Arthur, and Matthew and Ivan you'll be together. Everyone split up, and look for away out! She locked all the windows and doors!

Vlad- But if we don't put her ghost to rest for good, she'll leave when the sun rises. But she could easily kill us! Everyone be carful! Split up, now!

~ Matthew And Ivan~

Matthew- * Walking slowly down the hall, stuck to Ivan's hip*

Ivan- Mattie, don't be so scared.

Matthew- H-h-h-how can I not!? * Whispered yells as he hugs Ivan. Ivan smiles and wraps his arm around him*

Ivan- Don't be scared, I don't like your face in a frowny. I like to see a smiley~

Mathew- * Blushing* Well... o-o-ok... * Hears noise. Face goes alert* W-w-what was that...

Ivan- Again, don't show the enemy fear... just hang on..

Random noise- Bloody Mary... Bloody Mary...

Ivan- STOP SCARING MATTIE!

Random Noise- Bloody Mary...Bloody Mary...

Ivan- STOP! NOW! * Runs into the dark hall way, going after the noise*

Matthew- N-N-NO! * almost in tears* DONT LEAVE ME ALONE!

Random Noise- * Wood flooring creaking*

Matthew- l-l-leave me alone! * Screams loudly*

Ivan- MATTHEW! HANG ON! SHE'S BACK THERE!

Matthew- AHHHHHHHH! IVAN! IVAN! IVAN! COME BACK HERE NOW! * Screaming, running down the hall, crying*

Ivan- * Runs into Matthew, pulling him into a hug.* I'm sorry! I wont leave you anymore! *Picks him up and runs down the hall*

~ Gilbert and Vlad~

Gilbert- Anything I can do? Nine times out of ten, I'll be awesome with it. KESESESE~ ten times out of ten I mean.

Vlad- Ha... no... Just stay quiet... If you can manage that. Do you think you can?

Gilbert- Oh well I can try.. Where are we going!? Why is this house so big?! I need to go pee!

Vlad- STOP COMPLAINING AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! * Echo's threw the house* Oh... shit... * Hears a quick noise zoom down the steps*

Gilbert- OH FUCK! * Jumps on Vlad, his arms thrown around his neck* WHAT DID YOU DO?! SHE'S GOING TO TURN ME INTO AN AWESOME SOUP THEN EAT ME!

Vlad- Hey... what about me?

Gilbert- SHE'LL FEED YOU TO HER DOGS! * Starts crying due to fear* But they wont eat it because you taste bad so then the r-r-ats in her house will eat you!* Still crying*

Vlad- Funny... * Says irritated* Here! Follow me! * Tries to walk into a different room, but feels a tug on his cape.*

Gilbert- Carry me?

Vlad- * Rolls eyes* Come on! * Picks him up and carries him to a closet*

Gilbert-... I'm hungry...

Vlad- That's not my problem! ( Whispered/ yelled) * Takes out a mini book, flipping threw the pages*

Gilbert- What is that?

Vlad- My many book of spells... we can get this unfertile bitch out of here! * Evil smile* Just stay quite!

~ Arthur and Francis~

Arthur- Where are we going?!

Francis- To my bedroom! We'll hide out there!

Arthur... You better not touch my ass in there either! You're sexually harassing me every chance you get now, aren't you!

Francis- You damn British mother fucking bitch! Kiku ran into me! Just here! * opens door* Go in here! We're going in the bathroom's shower!

Arthur- * Goes into the room, going into the shower. Francis grabs lots of towels and throws them on the flooring of the shower. Then they both sit on them ,closing the door, and the shower curtain.*

Arthur- We should have never played this game...

Francis- I know! This is so scary! I think its worse than when I thought the world was going to end! And I wanted to spend my last moments with you...

Arthur- yeah, that was pretty scary too. That more than this though.

Francis- * Smacks him on the head* Hey! You wanted to be like me before! You tried to grow your hair like mine!

Arthur- * Blushing* Shut up! * grabs his throat, strangling him*

Francis- y-y-you! *Gasp* bitch! * Grabs Arthurs throat, rocking him back and forth*

Arthur- I-I-I HATE YOU! GRAHHHHHAAA!

~ Alfred and Kiku~

Kiku- A-a-a-merika!

Alfred- What? And why are you calling me America? We're not at the World Meetings!

Kiku- S-s-sorry! I think I'm just really scared! I keep hearing things... and I also keep seeing things! I think I'm about to faint!

Alfred- Don't do that! You'll leave me all by myself! I don't want that!

Kiku- * Face in a ' I cant believe you said that' way* How kind of you...

Alfred- Alright! What we should do is leave it to the hero!

Kiku- Ok, well who might he be?

Alfred- Me of course! I did save your ass after pearl harbor!

Kiku- I know... and I'm still grateful for that.

Alfred- Anytime! Anyway, this is like all the video games we've played together. Just imagine you have one life left, and you have been playing this game for EVER and you like, cant beat it! And dude, stop shaking.

Kiku- O-O-O-O-Ok... * Something heavy falling down the steps*

Alfred- GRAHA! What was that!? * Face turning as white as a ghost*

A loud whisper- FUCK! IVAN GET UP! PLEASE?!

Alfred- MATTHEW?!

Matthew- AHH! HERE SHE COMES! HELP! * Dragging Ivan's unconscious body away from the steps as Kiku and Alfred run to their side. That bitch hovering over Matthew*

Bloody Mary- I will take him now!

Mysterious voice- STOP! * Everyone turned around and saw Gilbert behind Vlad, he had a book that was opened*

Bloody Mary- Da fuck you want ?

Vlad- LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Bloody Mary- Or what? * Says cockily*

Gilbert- I WILL RELASE MY AWESOME RAINBOW BEAMS!

Vlad- * Face palms slowly, then lifts his head* Gilbert. * points hand at him* Shut the fuck up man. * Gilbert shaking his head as Vlad looked back at her* OR YOU WILL FOREVER REST! YOU WILL NO LONGER WILL ROAM THE EARTH LIKE YOU DO NOW!

Bloody Mary- You can't do that! You are nothing but a mortal!

Vlad- I'm more than what meets the eye! ( Starts chanting) Meremerea to, yaki tsukuse, sumi kara sumi made, sono gouaka de * She starts to scream loudly* ( I know Arthur sings this, but Magic trio has Vlad in it. It is going to be distributed today!)

Bloody Mary- NO! NO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Vlad- ATOKATA MO NOKORANU YOU NI , TAMASHII MADE MO YAKI TSUKUSE

dark voice- WHO CALLS ME!?

Vlad- Me! Vlad! Take this corrupted spirit away! Let her ghost roam in Hell, let her no longer roam the earth were she frightens, causes mayhem, and threatens lives! Take this evil remaining soul away!

Bloody Mary- NOOOO! * Spirit gets picked up by a black form, pulling her threw the ceiling slowly*

~ Francis and Arthur~

Arthur- OPEN UP THE FUCKING CURTAIN! I CANT BREATH!

Francis- I GET GASSY WHEN I'M SCARED OK!?

Arthur- FUCK YOU! OPEN THE CURTAIN! I'M GOING TO THROW UP! * opens curtain, hanging head out of it. See Bloody Mary going threw the ceiling*

Bloody Mary- AHHHHH! GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LET ME GO! NO! * Turns head and looks at Arthur and Francis. Her smile reaching up to her ears* I'll be back...

Arthur and Francis- HOLY SHIT! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! * screaming like girls*

Francis- * passes gas*

Arthur- FRANCIS! * throws up* I WAS FUCKING KIDDING!

Francis- NEITHER WAS I! NOW CLEAN THAT SHIT UP!

Arthur- no! You! YOU MADE ME THROW UP WITH YOUR RAUNCHY FUCKING GAS! WHAT CRAWLED UP YOUR ASS AND DIED?

~ Back down stairs~

Vlad- We are safe now...

Alfred- Where's Francis and Arthur?!

Gilbert- I'm hungry..

Kiku- WAIT! WHAT ABOUT IVAN?!

Matthew- Someone help him! He's out cold!

Gilbert- OI! What happened to big boy?

Alfred- He fell down the steps! I think he hit his head!

~ Back to Arthur and Francis~

Francis- * cocks leg, passes gas really loudly*

Arthur- You did that on propose! Stop!

Francis- You're damn right! I give that a ten, don't you say?

Arthur- Fuck you.

Francis- If you insist!

~ 2 days later in the hospital~

Matthew- * Sitting in the hospital chair, sleeping as Ivan was in the bed, in a coma. But soon Ivan's eyes fluttered open. He shifted in his bed, seeing Matthew*

Ivan- Ma-ma-matthew?

Mathew- * Snores*

Ivan- Matthew!

Matthew- * Snore*

Ivan- MATTHEW!

Matthew- Wh-what?! * Eyes fall on Ivan, seeing he is up* Ah~ Ivan!

Ivan- I'm so glad you're here! But... why am I here? All I remember is being chased by some woman, you behind me holding my hand, then I fell down the steps.

Matthew- You feel down the steps and hit your head really hard.. I'm sorry I didn't catch you.

Ivan- Don't be sorry, you made it up by being here with me * Smiles warmly, Matthew returning that same warm smile*

* * *

Sorry this isn't my normal play. Like, its not funny like it normally is. But I was in a spooky mood, so this is what happened.

And Feli was hard to do I'll probably do him again.

During this story, while I was writing it I kept 'hearing' things and got CRAZY paranoid about everything I saw and 'heard' XD

This is what stupid shit does to me... o.O

But its late, I'm thirsty, I'm tired, and I got my braces tightened today so my teeth hurt too. I'm just a mess today.

Good night :3


	19. Magic Shack's Clothing Store

I'm like, repeating my self. Miranda got banned again! She let me on there because I like, asked and I got carried away for like one second! Damn it this shit's getting like, so old! And it's like really funny because she was checking her stories, and she say that this one got like 4,000 views and she was like 'YAY! LETS CELEBRATE BY GETTING ON OME- Aww..."

But we're celebrating a little differently... And Miranda made a play about me!

I'm like, so happy that she is making one about me! She said Toris will be next.

Toris- You'll _love _your play!

I know I will Toris! Now go finish making my candy! He's like, such a sweet heart.

Oh! But here's what got her ass in trouble...

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hi

**Stranger:** hi

**You:** so like how are you?

**Stranger:** I'm alright, bit tired. Yourself?

**You:** I'm totally awesome.

**You:** So, what's like, your name?

**Stranger:** it doesn't really matter but my online name is Zyn

**You:** Oh hi Zyn!

**You:** My real name is like Felisk

**You:** but my online name will be Pussy Destroyer

**Stranger:** interesting... you from the netherlands?

**You:** no, Poland

**Stranger:** ah.

**You:** I like my online name better

**You:** call me that

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

I'm like, really sorry. BUT IF HE CAN HAVE AN ONLINE CAME WHY CANT I?!

He's just being like, prejudice because I'm Polish... Bitches!

And like since Toris and Miranda are some of my best friends, they're both in it!

Anyway, here is the play about yours truly!

~Felisk

* * *

Felisk- Oh my gosh... We should all like, toats go shopping!

Miranda- But... my feet... they will hurt...

Toris- Yeah, Felisk. You shop for EVER. You're worst than Miranda!

Miranda- * Evil glare* Just because I'm a girl, doesn't mean that I am an obsessive shopper!

Felisk- Everyone, like calm it for about 5 fucking seconds and look at this fantabulous shirt I found at the store yesterday while you two were out. * Holds up a pink, sparkly shirt, tank top and looks as if it was made for girls*

Toris- That's... a girls shirt.

Felisk- No! It's UNISEX!

Miranda- What guy would wear that?... What GIRL would wear that?

Felisk- You bitches are just like, totally jealous of my amazing find at this wonderful store that I will like, not tell you because you guys will totally try to copy me. * Says proudly, sticking nose in the air*

Miranda- But I go to Wal-Mart all the time. * Toris, giggling, trying to hide it. Felisk looks at her with a evil eye.*

Felisk- He he he fuck you. Let's go shopping for some awesome clothes for you two! You two need a new style.

Miranda- * Looks down at her dark blue jeans, black, grey, and pink striped sweater, and black converse* I think I look fine...

Toris- * looks down his casual clothes. Dark jeans, and a plain green t-shirt.* I'm fine, too.

Felisk- * Shaking head disagreeing* You two look like train wreaks compared to me! And I mean Miranda, look at your shoes! They're so worn and like, have wholes! I remember you saying you like, have had them since the sixth grade!

Miranda- It gives them character!

Felisk- No, it makes you look like a total hobo. LETS GO!

Toris- NOOO!

Felisk- *stares at Toris, making him shake* Now...* Points towards the door* Go..

~ At a 'secret' spot.~

Toris- Are these blind folds really necessary?

Felisk- Yes! Now Miranda, put yours on!

Miranda- Why are we at the woods?...

Felisk- Shh! Put this on now!

Toris- You're telling us to put to put on blind folds, go into the woods with you while you have a pink glittery 'lets get weird' shirt on and a sparkly back pack. What the fuck are you planning!? * Felisk rolls eyes*

Felisk - Put it on... OR SOMETHING WILL BE GETTING WEIRD AND IT'LL BE YOUR FACE WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT!

Toris- OK OK OK! * Puts bandana on that says 'pony lover'*

Felisk- Miranda, your turn.

Miranda- But...

Felisk- PUT. IT ON. NOW.

Miranda- O-o-ok... * Puts bandana on that says ' I Snort Sparkles'*

Felisk- Now, take my hand and lets go to the shop were I buy all my like, totally FABULOUS clothes.

Miranda & Toris- * Takes one of Felisk's hands as he guides them into the woods*

Toris- * Trips over something* AH!

Felisk- Get up! You're going to ruin my new shirt if I like, bend down to help you!

Toris- WELL I WISH I COULD SEE SO I COULD

Felisk- Shit in one hand and like, wish in the other... Now get like get up!

Toris- *Gets up...*

Miranda- Are we almost there?

Felisk- * Smells air* Yes... almost. * Walks around a little bit longer* Were here. * Lets go of their hands* Take off your blind folds.

Toris & Miranda- * Takes off blind folds,*

Toris-... Its just a shack.

Felisk- * Shocked* IT IS NOT JUST ANY SHACK! It is the magic shack! You can tell no one where this is!

Miranda- Well we couldn't see where we were heading anyway.

Felisk- That's the spirit! Now, lets like go inside. I totally think you guys will love this!

* Felisk opens the door and Toris and Miranda step inside, looking around. But there is no clothes racks. No sign of any clothes.*

Toris-... Where are the clothes?

Felisk- VLAD! ARTHUR! LUKAS! * Hears people scrambling*

Vlad- Why hel- OUTSIDERS!

Felisk- Like, totally chill the fuck out. They are ok, they are totally like me and are so worthy to see where I get my clothes.

Vlad- Ok.. they tell no one!

Felisk- I already told them about like not telling people and all.

Miranda- U-U-Um... Why can't tell anyone?

Arthur- Because this is the Magic Shack's Clothing Store.

Toris- And why does the name of the store tell us why we cant tell anyone?

Felisk- Ok, so they like, make clothing that is AMAZING with magic.

Miranda- You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Lukas- Nope! Now, Felisk, anything you want in specific?

Felisk- Hmm... I don't know.. Work on Toris first. I'm like, trying my best to be less selfish and all that junk.

Arthur- Smart! Well, come here Toris. We'll get started on you.

Toris- WHA?! No! I don't want to go!

Felisk- LIKE, GROW A PAIR AND BECOME LIKE TOTALLY FABULOUS LIKE ME! * Pushes Toris into Arthur's arms and they drag him to the back room*

Lukas- Do you want a FULL make over?

Felisk- * Finger on chin* Hmm... Yeah! My treat! Both of them!

Miranda- What are they doing to him?!

Felisk- Like, don't worry they're just making magic clothing that is totally amazing!

Miranda- Your clothes... they are not my style...

Felisk- I can tell! You wear darker clothing! No sparkles! Nothing festive!

Miranda- * Hears Toris scream* OH MY GOD! I DONT WANT TO DO THIS!

Felisk- Hang on! He's almost down!

Arthur- * Comes out of room* He was a fighter, but he fits your standards.

Felisk- Like, yay! Like, totally bring him out!

Lukas & Vlad- * Holding Toris up by the arms*

Miranda- * Looking at Toris* WHAT! what did you do to him!?

Toris- * His shorts were super short and lime green with yellow rhinestones on the pockets, his shoes were a hot pink with sparkled shoe laces and his shirt was a tube top that stopped mid way on his stomach and was a electric blue with clear rhinestones at the top.* ...h-h-help... me...

Felisk- H-H-H-he's... * Holds back tears* Beautiful... OH MY GOD LIKE TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL!

Arthur- Thank you, we love your support. Is she next?

Felisk- Miranda? Yes. Like, work your magic on her too!

Lukas and Vlad- * Grabbing Miranda by the arms, dragging her in the same room*

Arthur- Here you go, Miranda. So, what's your favorite color?

Miranda- R-r-red...

Arthur- Oh... Not the answer I was looking for.. Pink it is! * Takes out this pot, puts a pink liquid in the black pot and steam came up.*

Lukas- And what's your favorite kind o0f shirt? Short Sleeve? Tank top?

Miranda- L-long sleeve.

Lukas- Oh... Well short sleeve it is! * Puts fabric into the pot*

Vlad- Sparkles?

Miranda- No!

Vlad- Ok, sparkles it is. * Adds sparkles into the pot*

Lukas, Vlad, and Arthur- * Starts moving their hands in a weird way, and then start chanting. They move their hands up and then the pot's mixture comes up, then was thrown onto Miranda*

~ Outside of the room~

Felisk- You like, look so awesome!

Toris- No... No I don't!

Arthur- She is done.

Felisk-Ok... Can we like, see her?

Arthur- Ok course. Bring her out!

Lukas and Vlad- * Bringing Miranda out*

Miranda- *Pouting*

Toris- Aw... What the hell!?

Felisk- OH MY GOD! LIKE AMAZING! AGAIN! YOU THREE ARE LIKE, TOATS GODS!

Miranda- * Her hair was up in pig tails with a pink strip in her bangs and she had a short sleeve pink shirt on that had hot pink sparkles, she has splatter paint sparkly skinny jeans on, and her shoes were sparkly blue flip flops with rhinestones on the straps.*

Toris- STOP! STOP THIS MADNESS!

* Felisk pay's for them*

Felisk- Now, put these blind folds back on, I know you guys like, totally loved this! And I don't want you stealing my like, fashion.

Miranda- * Snatches blind fold from his hands*

Felisk- Mmmm! Some ones like, totally feeling her new sassy outfit! * Toris comes up to him* Yo what up playa?

Toris- Give... me... the blind fold. I NEVER WANT TO SEE THIS PLACE EVER AGAIN! * Gets blind fold and puts it on*

~Toris sits up from bed~

Toris- AHHH!

Miranda- * Wakes up* AHHH!

Felisk- Like, shut the fuck up and go back to sleep bitches.

Miranda- *Lays back on bed* ( Whispers) Why are you screaming?

Toris- I had a bad dream...

Felisk- I like, hear you totally talking. Since we're all up, want to like totally go shopping in the morning? I have this AWESOME store we can go to but it's a secret.

Toris- NOOO!

Felisk- Ok, like, well then.

* * *

Like, that was toats my thing. But I would like, never force them to do that.

Toris- Yes you would.

Like, no I wouldn't! Ok, maybe ONE TIME! BUT THAT WAS ONE TIME!

Toris- No... you took us out yesterday and we looked around Victories Secrets SO YOU COULD FIND A BRA FOR YOUR RUPAUL THING THAT YOU WILL NOT GET ACC-

SHUT UP! Anyway, here's Miranda.

* * *

Hello~

So I hope you liked this play, because I got banned AGAIN! But oh well, you know? It is what it is I guess.

I was thinking while in the middle of this play, ' it would be pretty cool if I made the stories were on of the fans were in it...' then I had an AHA! moment.

If you'd like to be in one of the plays, just tell me your name and who the characters are that will be in this!

And I wont be doing lemons or dirty things for this. Sorry XD

But it'll be funny stuff. Or semi whatever.

Just do that in the review thing, or you could PM me.

Which ever you prefer, I don't really care either or.

Bye! :3


	20. Play Request! The Godess of the Prank

So, like Hey! It's Felisk again!

Miranda got out of school, for like snow! It's really awesome.

But, anyway, she like, had a crazy cool idea that she'll like, totally share with you at the end. And if you're like, interested, just leave a review saying you would be.

Bye!

Like, Felisk~

* * *

Name: Anne Jackson  
Gender: Female  
Age: 16  
From: PEI, Canada

Appearance(not including clothes): Tall, Orange hair that's always braided into two braids. Long black snake tattoos covering arms, chest, legs, and face. Grey eyes.

Clothes: Red belly shirt, black short-shorts, black combat boots. Blood red scarf covering head and shoulders(like a ninja).

Personality: Mysterious, Quiet, Mischievous(pulls pranks on almost everybody)

Other: Is kinda insane... Laugh sounds insane, laughs A LOT. Scratches at arms when is nervous or upset. Get nervous a lot, do has bruises and scabs all over arms(ik, it's gross...)

* * *

Alfred- So, Hong what are we going to do? ( I'm just going to call Hong Kong Hong. I don't think he has a name...)

Hong- * Puts book down* I don't know. We need the pranking god in order for me to answer this..

Alfred- And who would that be?

Hong- *Spaces out for a second* Anne.

Alfred- Anne?

Hong- Anne Jackson. The best of the best. She. Is the goddess.

Alfred- A girl? Pulling pranks?

Hong- SEXIST! She is amazing! More than I am!

Alfred- Well lets find her.

~ Going to go find Anne~

* Anne is in the library. She is sitting in a chair at a table reading a book about explosives.*

Hong- Anne.

Anne- * Looks towards them* Ye-y-yes?

Hong- We need your help.

Anne- My help? * Smirks cockily* And why is that?

Alfred- Well since we're about to leave school. * Puts leg on chair, inching closer to her* We need a good prank to pull.

Librarian- HEY! ( Whispering) GET YOUR FEET OFF THE CHAIR!

Alfred- * Gives her a deathly glare, getting leg off the chair* If we kill anyone, we kill her first.

Hong- Ok. So, any ideas?

Alfred- She isn't THAT good! I mean, I've never heard of any of her pranks before!

Anne- * Offended* Have you heard of the ' Stench of 8th grade' ?

Alfred- Yeah... all those girls smelled so bad!

Anne- Well, those girls were being complete bitches to me just because I didn't run the mile in less then 5 minutes. So, I came in late to gym the next day and took their deodorants and took out the deodorant parts and filled them with cream cheese.

Alfred- * Shocked face* YOU ARE A GENIUS!

Anne- Well thank you.

Hong- She is very gifted with the art of pranking. Please don't doubt her power anymore.

Alfred- I wont. Any ideas? We get out next week!

Anne- Ok... let me think... GOT IT!

Alfred- What?!

Anne- Both of you, meet me at the end of school. We're going to my house * Walks away*

~ At the end of the day, walking to Anne's~

Anne- Ok, I saw in my book that dry ice is pretty explosive.

Alfred- It is?

Anne- Yes. So, I was thinking we could put some in a plastic soda bottle, and throw it in the hall ways.

Hong- Or even better, in the class rooms when the teacher is turning around!

Alfred- HEY! THAT'S PERFECT!

Anne- Yes! Yes it is! Do we have a plan?

Alfred & Hong- * Look at each other with a smile* YES!

~Last day of school~

Anne- Since we all have different classes, give me your numbers so I can text you what's going on. * Hand them her number*

Hong- ok... Where did you get the dry ice?!

Anne- My man and here! Take a big bag, here is 4 bottles for you, and make sure you find it! one at a time!

Alfred- Ok! Let me put the bottles in my locker.

~ Hong's First class~

Mrs. Bowers- Ok, so class I was thinking that this would be a good science ex- * Hears this kid named Nick talking* NICK!

Nick- What?!

Mrs. Bowers- STOP TALKING!

Nick- I'm not talking! * Mrs. Bowers walking towards Nick, getting in his face.*

Mrs. Bowers- I just stood there, and watched you talk!

Hong- (Thinking) This is perfect! I'm across the room! She wont see me! * takes bottle out, filling it with dry ice*

- * Starts twisting Nick's ear* DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID!? DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID. NICK? DO YOU? I'M GLAD YOU'RE LEAVING! THANK GOD!

Hong- (Thinking) almost done!... Ah! * Stands from desk quietly, everyone looking at Mrs. Bowers. He throws the bottle, and it hits the floor making him sit down quickly. It then explodes, making a HUGE ' BOOM' noise. Everyone turns around and is shocked, looking at the bottle as the white fog comes from it*

Mrs. Bowers- WHO THE FUCK DID THAT!? * She got scared as you can see, everyone laughing because she cussed.* WHO DID THIS?!

~ Alfred's First Class~

Mrs. Lomax- Alright, everyone. Since its the last day of school, we're going to watch a movie of how school started. I'm just going to sit here and stare at you like I normally do and think about my ex husband who had a extreme foot fetish and left me for a hooker. * Pulls down projector, walks to computer and starts the movie*

Movie- in the beginning...

Alfred- *Sighs loudly, feels phone vibrate*

Text from Anne- Hong already set his off! I heard it from down the hall!

Alfred's text- I know! I heard it too! I'm about to start mine... but Mrs. Lomax is staring at us!

Anne's Text- Well... I'll come in and ask for something... When she turns around do it!

Alfred's text- Ok!

* Anne comes in the room*

Mrs. Lomax- Anne? What do you need? I'm in the middle of my honeymoon with my ex husband?

Anne- Oh... I'm sorry. I just needed to see you for a quick second. About these puzzles we need to do. * Mrs. Lomax gets up and walks towards Anne, she smiles at Alfred*

Alfred- * Takes bottle out, filling it up with the dry ice and forcefully throws it at the screen, it explodes almost instantly*

Mrs. Lomax- AHH! WHAT WAS THAT?!

Anne- * Laughing like a maniac*

Alfred- * Trying to hide his laughing*

Mrs. Lomax- ALFRED!? DID YOU DO THIS?!

Alfred- * Stops laughing* N-N-NO! IT WAS JAMES!

James- NO IT WASNT! IT WASNT ME! IT WAS JACOB!

Jacob- NO IT WASNT! IT WASNT ME! IT REALLY WASNT ME! JAMES PROBABLY DID IT!

James- FUCKING BLAME ME!? *Stands up, Jacob stands up too*

Jacob- I'M NOT BLAMING YOU. I'M TELLING HER WHO DID IT!

James- YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE ANGIE IS DATING ME, AND LEFT YOUR ASS A LONG TIME AGO.

Jacob-* Holding back tears* I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! * Punches James in the face, James punches back, then it becomes a full fight.*

Mrs. Lomax- DAMN IT! NOW I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DAY DREAM TODAY! BREAK IT UP! * gets in the middle trying to break hem up*

Alfred & Anne- * Dying of laughter, getting out of the class room because it's also time to go*

Hong- I heard a big boom... did you do yours, Alfred? * Walking down the hall with the two of them dying*

Alfred- yes! and I blamed it on this kid who blamed it on another! THIS IS WHY I LOVE SITTING IN THE BACK! no one could see me!

Anne- T-t-then * Laughs* THEY GOT INTO A FIST FIGHT!

Hong- Oh my god! But.. why were you in there?

Anne- I needed to distract her for Alfred.

~ Anne's Second Class because she had to handle Alfred's shit in the first class~

- So, who can tell me what this is?

Anne- ( Thinks) I wish I could throw this at him without him knowing... Wait... .I CAN! * Raises hand*

Mr. Jackson- * Rolls eyes* What?

Anne- Can I go to the bathroom?

Mr. Jackson- I don't know... CAN YOU?

Anne- *Rolls eyes* MAY I?

Mr. Jackson- Leave, peasant.

Anne- * Walks out of class room, runs to her locker* (Thinking) I could use this big blanket and throw this at his back! not his face, that'll be going too far... Let me take off my shoes so wont see them and know its me... * Takes of shoes then fills bottle* Perfect! * Finds old mask from the play she was in* ( It looks like the ghost's face from 'Spirited Away'!) EVEN BETTER! * Puts mask on over blanket, can still sort of see*

Anne- * Walks slowly to class room, opening the door*

Mr. Jackson- And what the hell are you?

Anne- * Throws bottle near him, making his back away. The bottle didn't explode at first, but started vibrating and making a squeaking noise.*

Mr. Jackson- * Puts hands up to chest, starts squealing* Ah! Ooo! Get that away from me! * Kicks it, making it hit the wall. It bonces off the wall like a rocket, then hits a kid in the face and blows up in the air, making the white fog fill the room*

Anne- * Runs out of the room, Mr. Jackson going after them*

Mr. Jackson- HEY! WHY!? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

Anne- MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

~ End of the day~

Anne- Well the kid that got hit with my bottle was sent to the hospital with a conation.

Hong- That's... nice. But this was the best day ever.

Anne- Yes. yes it was.

Alfred- NO MORE SCHOOL! *Throws hands in the air, swinging his hips from side to side* WOHOO!

Anne- Well, I got to go. Bye guys!

Hong- Hey, wait! * Grabs her wrist* You ARE going to go out to eat with me and Alfred tonight. Got it?

Anne- * Smiles* Yup! See you then!

And that is how their friendship was established.

_**~Fin~**_

* * *

ok! So this is Miranda!

And I have an idea...

Who would like a friendly competition?

I was thinking, I'd have a contest.

There's going to be two of them now, and then if it goes good I'll have more.

One is going to be a lemon, and the other is going to be a fluff. And it must be a pairing. Like PruCan, GerIta, RusChi, something like that. And it cane be straight, Yaoi, Yuri, Fem!, 2p, anything. As long as its a pairing, and a one shot.

You can do both of them. But you can only create one story per section. So one lemon, one fluff.

Any pairing is allowed, because I love them all. Even crack pairings.

There will be prizes! I will draw you three pictures of the character's of your choice, something hetalia related, and a mystery gift :3

I'm not some creepy pedophile guy, if you need proof I have a youtube video of me and Fatedamaged.

here's the link- watch?v=L85zlbyooWE

I'm the one in the Cartman shirt ^.^

We're sort of all over the place with that video.

BUT, if you need more proof, I think I can get this Skype shit going so if you want more info just PM me or whatever.

Anyone interested?


	21. Sealand & RUGMUNCHERS

Character Being Role Played- Peter!(Sealand)

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** HEY

**You:** GUESS WHAT

**Stranger:** my gf cheated on me

**Stranger:** and that's a right guess

**You:** PROBABLY

**You:** BUT THATS NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

**You:** I'M A COUNTRY!

**Stranger:** that's what i'm talking about

**Stranger:** my gf cheated on me and i just can't get off the stereotype

**You:** oh... but... I'm more important...

**You:** but go on -_-

**Stranger:** why so

**Stranger:** ok show your importance

**Stranger:** what is it all about

**You:** I'M A COUNTRY

**Stranger:** then.

**You:** I THINK THATS PRETTY EPIC

**You:** but go on about your girlfriend

**Stranger:** so important

**Stranger:** first off

**You:** it is

**Stranger:** where are you from

**You:** I'M FROM MY COUNTRY OF SEALAND

**Stranger:** so importan.t

**You:** it is!

**You:** but

**You:** your girlfriend

**You:** I'll listen

**Stranger:** ok

**Stranger:** i know the stereotype of chinese people as they are easy for western men

**Stranger:** then i just proved yesterday

**Stranger:** she left her msn account logged in

**Stranger:** i chat with the white guy

**Stranger:** i saw the message history

**Stranger:** and they are planning to meet somewhere

**You:** probably in sealand

**Stranger:** hahaha

**Stranger:** :)

**You:** its a nice romantic place

**Stranger:** lol

**Stranger:** you make me laugh

**Stranger:** haha

**You:** Well its the truth

**You:** give her a transformer to make her happy

**Stranger:** ok speak more and you're joke is dead

**Stranger:** your *

**You:** my joke?...

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

I have no idea why he brought Chinese people up, but I really wasn't listening anyway XD

Maybe his girlfriend was Chinese? I don't even know anymore.

This is just an old chat I had that I was going to publish. I was going to get more for this, but got banned and all, which sucks, but you know it is what it is.

BUT! Play time! :3

* * *

_I am really shy and quiet in class, but when i am with my friends it is like I had 20 cups of coffee._  
_I don't mind helping people, but sometimes, since I am so quiet in class, when people see me get all loud and jumpy, they sort of get scared._

_HAHA._

_Likes- Sweets, making people laugh hard enough their face goes red (i am good at that), MATH (dork ALERT), most animals, Superheros!_  
_Dislikes- Cheerleaders, HEIGHTS OMG, the ocean, Jocks, and the type of rap music taht has NO MEANING WATSOEVA!_

_IDK if you need to know this but i wear glasses._

P.S- She wanted the Awesome trio! I love them, they're my screen saver.

PP.S- Lets get this started~

* * *

**_R.U.G.M.U.N.C.H.E.R.S Success and Down Fall _**

Gilbert- Bitches love me! * snatches paper from Alfred who is snickering.*

Alfred- No they don't. Bitches love ME.

Mathis- You two are the bitches that love me, along with Gena and many others. * Looks over at Gena who is doing her math homework.*

Gena- Um. No.

Gilbert- Bitches love me because they know I can rock! Bitches love because they know that I can fuck! Bitches love me because they know I am on top!

Alfred- YOU GOT THAT FROM A FUCKING SONG, FIRST OF ALL. * Says waving finger in his face, Gilbert pushes it away*

Gilbert- BUT WHEN IT'S TRUE...

Gena- ALL OF YOU ARE MY BITCHES.

Mathis- Um, sweetheart, I don't think so!

Alfred- NOT IN MY HOUSE. * Says it like that guy from the commercials*

Gilbert- But... it's my house.

Alfred- not today! * Smiles*

Mathis- Turn on some fucking music! You guys are getting on my nerves. And Gena's just sitting there doing... * Looks over he shoulder* Mathematical shit.

Gena- And what do you expect me to do?! BACKFLIPS?!

Alfred- WOE! THAT WOULD BE COOOOOOOOOL!

Gena- It was sarcasm dumbass.

Alfred- WHATEVERE! Turn the music on Mr. Gilbert small penis.

Gilbert- *Walks over to the radio, turning on some Mindless Self Indulgence! Bitches...* OI! IT'S FIVE METERS! I SWEAR!

Mathis- More like 5 centimeters.

Gilbert- Hey, fuck you. * Music starts playing*

Alfred- Oh! I love this song!

Mathis- Yeah, me too!

Gilbert- I thought I was the only one!

Alfred- The bass, the rock * Singing along, Gilbert joining in*

Gilbert- the mic, the tremble, I like my coffee black just like my metal.

Mathis- The bass, the rock, the mic , the tremble, I like my coffee black just like my metal.

Alfred- I can't wait for you to knock me up, in a minute, minute, in a fucking minute!

Gena- ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Mathis- I CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP! AND MAKE ME, HIP LIKE BADASS!

Gena- SHUT UP! IF YOU ALL LIKE SINGING TOGETHER, MAKE A BOY BAND!

Gilbert- HEY! That's a good idea!

Gena- Guys, I was joking.

Mathis- Well that joke has turned into a good idea, then turn into an action, then, to success.

Alfred & Gilbert- *Clapping hands*

Alfred- You're over there PREACHING it like a boss, dude!

Mathis- And then when we become a great success, all the bitches would love us, but they'd always love me more than you two posers. * Sticks nose in the air*

Gilbert- * Mad* NO, NO , NO, NO! YOU HAVE A MICROPENIS ONLY A SCIENTIST WOULD LOVE!

Mathis- HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?

Gilbert- BECAUSE IT'S SO SMALL ITS SCIENTIFICALLY FASCINATING!

Alfred- * Laughing loudly*

Gena- * Laughing , too* I-I-I Have to go! work out your boy band without killing each other! * Walks out of house with her things*

~ Middle of the night*

Alfred- What will we call our band?

Gilbert-... Awesomeness is found in Gilbert but not friends?

Mathis- That is the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Fuck to the no.

Alfred- How about Super Hero?

Gilbert- No.. it needs to have a ring.

Mathis- Ah~ I got it!

~Next Day At School~

Gena- So did you guys figure out what your 'band's' name will be? * Sitting down with tray of food*

Mathis- Yup!

Gena- Oh really? * Eats french fry.* What is it? * Takes sip of water*

Alfred- R.U.G.M.U.N.C.H.E.R.S

Gena- * Spits out water* What.

Gilbert- Remember u got me under napoleons chin here, everyone remembers Saturdays.

Gena- THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

Gilbert- It's saying that it was a crazy Saturday night and the person got us in some kind of trouble and no one will forget it.

Mathis- MAKES PERFECT SENSE!

Gena- * Puts head in hand* But... Rug Munchers? Really?

Alfred- Dude, there's nothing wrong with it!

Gilbert- Yeah! Nothing dirty.

Mathis- Nothing at all! * All with innocent faces*

Gena- Well... ok. If it makes you happy, then ok.

Mathis- So, you should come to our first band practice! It's today after school.

Gena- You guys can play?

Gilbert- I play drums

Alfred- I play electric guitar!

Mathis- And I play keyboard.

Gilbert- And I also sing. My awesome vocals~

Gena- Well, at least you guys are trying something.

~ Band Practice~

Gena- You guys might want to make a song.

Alfred- Ooo! Dude, good idea.

Gilbert- So, lets write a song.

Mathis- About?

Gena- I can write done some ideas if you'd like. * Takes out pen and paper already knowing the answer*

Gilbert- Ok.. So... we need something awesome... like, something almost as awesome as me...

Mathis- * Rolls eyes* Ok, how about how awesome we are?

Alfred- Yes!

Gilbert- Like how we get bitches?...

Alfred- YEAH! Dude, great idea.

Gilbert- GENA! WRITE THIS! ' Bitches want me because they know that I'm awesome!'

Alfred- Bitches want me because they know I'm the hero!

Mathis- BITCHES WANT ME BECAUSE THEY KNOW I'M THE KING OF THE NORTH!

Gena- * Writing ever word down* Ok...

Gilbert- Write " Hey, hoe, here we go. Walking around town like we know."

Gena- Ok... Know what * Writing it down*

Alfred- Hm..." Like we know how to save a girl from her wanting?'

Mathis- Then put ' Because we do."

Gena- * Writing down their garbage*

~ Two months later~

Random Girl - OH MY GOD IT'S THE RUG MUCHERS! * Points to them*

Other Random Girl - OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! ALFRED! GILBERT! MATHISS! * Runs towards them.*

Gilbert- Oh shit! * All of including Gena run into a store, locking the door as a hole bunch of fan girls stand outside, banging on the door begging to come in.*

Gena- How many times has this happened today?! Three? Four?

Alfred- FIFTY SEVEN!

Mathis- It FEELS like that, but its really been five.

Gilbert- These fans are amazing and all, but last time I let them do this they trampled me!

Alfred- And they made a hole bunch of fan fictions about us!

Mathis- I know! Some of them include us having a three some, or one of us having sex together. ( Because I don't do that...)

Gena- But that's what happens when you develop a fan base!

Gilbert- I know, but still. It's crazy!

Alfred- But no matter what happens, I will LOVE MY FANS!

Mathis- YEAH! ME TOO!

Gilbert- ME TOO!

* * *

_~Gena's Interview In Article Form with E! Hollywood News~_

_R.U.G.M.U.C.H.E.R.S was a very successful boy band with many great fans. Some of their greatest hits were " Uke-y Seme' , ' Alfred Loves British Rolls' , ' Mein Gott' , ' The King' , ' Super Hero Supreme Powers' , ' My Five Meter's' ' Bitches and Me' , ' Pimping on the Street, ' Your Mom and Me.' ' Dude, You Farted In My Cereal! I Just Watched You Do It, Gilbert!" and so much more. _

_We have a special guest that was very close with the band members, claiming they were best friends. _

_" We used to do everything together" Gena says. " We would always go out with each other. And whenever they toured, I'd go to and help them write songs. They would always ask me if I wanted to get on stage with them and sing and all but I'm too shy" _

_" What happened to Gilbert? Is he the main cause of the band's down fall?" E! Celebrity news asked Gena. _

_" Well Gilbert would steal yellow peeps from Wal-Mart around Easter time. Like, he would steal pack after pack after pack to the point where his room would have packs of them. And no, he wasn't the main cause." Gene said. _

_" Why did he steal peeps from Wal-Mart? Did he eat all of them?" We asked._

_" Because they reminded him of his pet, Gilbird. He had to leave him behind. No he wouldn't eat them. He'd just let them sit in his room and stare at them. I swear, this one time he watched them intensely for 20 minutes. I saw him do it , too."_

_Well that's odd, but what about the rest of the group? Well, lets find out. _

_" What about Alfred? What happened to him?" _

_" Well..." Gena started, her eyes were filled with concern. " He's more complicated..." _

_" Can you please tell us?" E! Celebrity news begged. We wanted the scoop._

_"Yeah. Well, what happened to him is that he became obsessed with buying Super Man capes, soon he went into bankruptcy." _

_" Oh.. That's awful." Gena nodded. _

_" And then he became a sex addict."_

_" Oh... Mathis?" _

_" Mathis? He became a sever alcoholic partyer." _

_" Who do you think was the one who made the band fall apart?"_

_" Bitch!" Gene started, getting angry. " THE REASON THEY FELL APART WAS BECAUSE OF THE CRAZY ASS FANS THEY HAD!" Gene said getting furious towards E! Hollywood News._

_" Ok, ok, ok, well calm down. I understand." _

_" Apparently not! I MEAN YOU'RE BLAMING THEM FOR THEIR SPLIT UP! THEY WERE UNDER SO MUCH STRESS! AND SOME TRAUMA FROM WHEN THEY WERE KIDS STARTED COMING BACK TO THEM!" Gena said shouting loudly._

_" What trauma was coming back to them?" We asked, but she only gave me a deathly glare. _

_" THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" She shouted before punching me in the face, then stormed out of the room. _

_" Ouch..." I said as she slammed the door closed. _

_There you have it. Become and successful band can either make or break a relationship with friends, family, and more people. _

_This time, it broke them. _

* * *

If I get a few more people in on the contest, it will be official!

Anyone else interested?...


	22. Randomness on Banned Omegle

Ok, so like, hey. Miranda needs more like, play request! Her bitch ass is out of them! She has one from a guest but they left NOTHING of what their likes and dislikes, and like, all that shit.

Like, Miranda is still banned from Omegle , but she wanted to fool around on the ADULT SECTION.

She is like, writing this before she gets on but so she doesn't get this like, taken down, THIS IS LIKE A TOATL WARNING!

LIKE, EXTEREME SEXUAL THINGS. PROBABLY, AND ALL.

You have like, been warned.

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

* * *

Character Being Role Played- No one, just Miranda being stupid.

* * *

**You:** Hey

**You:** hey

**You:** HELLO !

**You:** OLLA!

**You:** NI HO!

**You:** KONICHIWA

**Stranger:** hi

**Stranger:** m

**You:** finally

**You:** didn't know when the hell you would type back

**You:** hey bitch

**You:** I'm a girl

**Stranger:** 20

**You:** how you doing?

**Stranger:** asl?

**You:** oh HELL TO DA NO

You have disconnected.

* * *

Next one is Elizabeth(Hungary)

Well here's the last one of a Hetalia character.

It's SUPER hard staying in character talking to all these fucktards.

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello

**Stranger:** hi

**Stranger:** f or m

**You:** f

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** m

**You:** name?

**Stranger:** jose

**Stranger:** u

**You:** Elizabeth.

**You:** So, what brings you to Omegle?

**Stranger:** i dont know how about u

**You:** My unawesome friend, Gilbert, told me to get on

**Stranger:** my friend told me to get on how old are u

**You:** 17

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** 17

**You:** oh

**You:** how ironic?

**Stranger:** i know

**You:** So, are you a pervert or something?

**You:** not that I think you

**You:** are

**Stranger:** no

**You:** but

**Stranger:** wtf

**You:** wtf?

**You:** what the fuck what

**You:** THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

**Stranger:** u said im a pervert

**You:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DID NOT

**You:** I ASKED if you WERE a pervert

**Stranger:** no

**You:** no

**Stranger:** ur a guy

**You:** WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT!?

**You:** I AM NOT A GUY

**You:** I HAVE TITTES BITCH

**Stranger:** ok im sorry

**You:** that's right motherfucker

**Stranger:** show me them

**You:** at least take me out

**You:** first

**Stranger:** when

**You:** now

**You:** Lets have a virtual date

**Stranger:** were u from

**You:** Hungary

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** yea

**You:** I never heard of Yea

**You:** wheres that?

**Stranger:** wat

**You:** nevermind -_-

**Stranger:** show me a pic of u if ur not a guy

**You:** ok hang on

**Stranger:** k

**Stranger:** hurry up 7

**Stranger:** .oiuj

**You:** wkviorevni fuck you

**You:** wait bitch

**Stranger:** ok striper

**You:** *Stupid little picture of her from google, came with a long ass link too.*

**You:** um fuck you in the ass with Gilbert's five meters

**You:** fap to that

**Stranger:** thats not u stupid

**Stranger:** as

**Stranger:** s

**Stranger:** bitch

**You:** YES IT IS DUMBASS

**Stranger:** its a picture of a cartoon retard

**You:** Well, that's really what I look like genetic mistake

**Stranger:** ok whatever bitch

**You:** YOU KNOW WHAT

**You:** YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKING BITCH IN THIS

**Stranger:** no baby

**You:** WHERE'S A PICTURE OF YOU 'HOT' STUFF?

**You:** oh! that's what I THOUGHT!

**Stranger:** nowere baby i know im hot

**You:** *Rolls eyes*

**You:** I bet.

**You:** Your fat rolls attract everyone, don't they?

**Stranger:** so hold my hand move ur body im not fat bitch u fat

**You:** Hold me hand, move your body...?

**You:** WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING BOUT

**You:** YOU'RE THE FAT BITCH

**Stranger:** fuck u asshole ur a dude bitch

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Poor Hungary, everyone things she's a girl -_-

Enjoy Germany!

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**Stranger:** heya - m

**You:** hello

**You:** are you into bondage?

**Stranger:** ... why do you ask?

**You:** because

**You:** I can

**You:** so

**You:** Are you into bondage?

******You:** ANSWER ME OR ITS AN AUTOMATIC YES

**Stranger:** depends on the extent

**You:** well ,I go all out

**Stranger:** well take a yes then :P

**You:** Ooo adventurous ;)

**You:** I like wipes,

**You:** do you?

**Stranger:** wipes?

**You:** whips*

**You:** lol dumbass computer

**Stranger:** hehe

**You:** But I do like wipes too

**You:** you'll need them to clean yourself up after I'm done with you

**Stranger:** why do you ask?

**You:** Because am I also a horse rider and I find it saves a lot of my money if I just use them

**You:** on people

**Stranger:** fair enough

**You:** Save money, live better

**Stranger:** prefer a shambok myself

**Stranger:** but thats personal preferance

**You:** yeah.

**You:** So, want to get funky?

**You:** I'm not hearing a no...

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Damn .-. XD

Luddy almost got lucky.

* * *

Well that's all I'm going to do on Omegle for the night. A lot of fuckers out there to fuck with but they don't deserve to be in the presents of me ~

Wow, conceded! But I really do need more requests for plays.

And we're so close to getting to 5,000 views! Am SO happy! Thank you guys SOO much! I love you all!

In celebration, I'm going to start this thing I thought of called " Gangstatalia."

It's just going to be these short things of one character going all out on something.

It'll be history explained the gangsta way.

And if anyone of you guys are thinking ' Biting off more than you can chew'... You're probably right :D

But oh well.

Enjoy~

*P.S- I will take request for the Gangstatalia*


	23. Gangstatalia with NItaly- Italian Wars

****Motherfucker used obsessively! A lot of cussing!

* * *

Italian Wars With Gangsta!Italy

* * *

Alright, so lets sit the fuck down and have time to recognize the bitchy ass continent of Europe.

In 1494- 1559 I was a ( and still am) sexy ass mother fucker, and them fucking bitches couldn't keep their motherfucking hands off of me. But the bitches that were after me the most was Francis and Antonio but still involved most of the other motherfuckers.

These fucking wars started all because of this motherfucking French bitch king named Charles VIII in 1994. He took my bitching, ass smacking of a good time Naples. But, luckily I was a smart motherfucking and made this damn alliance with Spain and Maximilian I and then the Pope drove his French ass out of MY town. I mean, I was all like " motherfucker, you in the wrong neighborhood"

But then, when I was thinkin' that I was safe, another motherfucker came into MY town. Three of MY hoods! In 1499 dis bitches names Louis XII and took Milan, Genoa, AND MOTHERFUCKING NAPLES. NAPLES! Dis bitch better get the fuck home before I tear HIS ASS UP!

But, then that bitch was crying like a motherfucking pussy once this other hero ass came in. It was Spain but the ruler at the time was Ferdinand V.

But then Pope Julies II made this group called the League of Cambrai to come and attack MY TOWN OF VENICE(1508)! I know, dat bitch right!? Then, oh bitch it gets fucking better. Then, he made the Holy League(1511) to get that ugly ass motherfucker Louis out of my other hood ( Milan).

But then in 1515, Francis I won the battle at Battle of Marignano like a cocky ass motherfucking bastard he is. Waving that shit in ALL of ours faces.

In 1516 there was this 'peace offering' from France where they had Milan and Spain kept Naples. LIKE WHAT THE HELL BITCHES?! YOU CANT JUST OWN ME! I'M MY OWN INDEPENDENT BITCH AND I DONT NEED ANYONE FOR ME TO RELY ON.

But these bitchy ass European Country's went fucking a wall and started fucking with each other again. In 1521 Emperor Charles V and Francis I these two motherfuckers started this shit up again.

Francis was hoe-napped and forced to sign the Treaty of Madrid (1526). Which was saying that he gave up all of me and gave it to the other bitch he's be fightn' with.

But as soon as Francis was let go, he put his grease ass fucking hands on me again and formed a new alliance with Henrt VIII of England, Pope Clement VII, Venice, and Florence.

This greedy ass motherfucking Charles took Rome (1527) and forced the pope to come to these terms, and made Francis give me up in the Treaty of Cambrai (1529).

But after 65 years of this bullshit, in 1559 the Peace of Cateau-Cambresis the bitchy ass continent of Europe's countries finally got off their fucking periods and ended the wars.

~ Gangsta!

* * *

well, first Ganstaitalia! I'll also do ones where I talk about the country and their stereotypes, history, and probably more as I go along.

And I take request for these as well. If you want stereotypes put the country and s (Italy-S!) history, country and h ( Italy-H). And if you want like a war, put a 'w'. If its whatever, just don't put a 'w'.

I should be a history teacher...


	24. Cold War & Fall of Soveit Union

Cold War & The Collapse of the Soviet Union

Gangsta!Russia

* * *

Hold the fuck up and sit the hell down you pieces of shit. Today, we're going to learn about the fucking coldest war that has ever happened. Of course, we are talking about the Cold War, dumbass.

The reason it is called the 'Cold War' is because there was no actual battles and shit. It was just motherfucking tension all up in our bizz. Our meaning America and

This fucking 'war' was basically democracy VS communism. This shit started right after World War II (1939- 45) when the allies ( If you watch hetalia you better know who they are) were disagreeing over how to fucking govern Germany. But, them motherfuckers and I were suppose to both have Germany, but they thought the spread of communism was more important.

But during World War II I fought with them motherfucking Allies to fight the Germans. But since I support communism, they were thinking " Aww HELL to da no".

By 1947, this bitch America was saying that he didn't want the spread of MY system. He didn't WANT communism getting out to them other countries.

But when this fucking war started, no one was to blame. No one really started it, it just fucking happened.

Them damn European's filled America's head with shit like ' I have a plan to rule the world' and they were fucking right.

But it really started when the Soviet Union had damn conference near the end of World War II in Yalta. There, some fool named Stalin promised FDR he'd let people vote in western Europe, which was dominated by ME BITCH.

Then another conference happened and it was called "Potsdam Conference"(1945) and FDR wasn't there, 'cause he died before all of our motherfucking ass's could get dere. So since his ass dead, Harry S. Truman became the new fucking president. Stalin and Truman were talking and Stalin completely said " Just fucking kidding bout the voting."

And once America heard about this, he grew really angry and was like " FUCK NO! NOT IN MY WORLD!" And went fucking bitchy ass bitch on me. Then, the tension between our fucking ass grew more and more.

Then in 1949 was considered one of the worst fucking years ever because China became a communist with me. Then, I stole a bomb (A-Bomb or also known as Atomic Bomb) from America ( Well my spies stole it) and I tested that bitch out.

Then, these bitches in Europe felt they weren't getting enough attention and decided to make the Berlin Wall.

And did you motherfucking bitches know there was almost a World War III? Oh fuck yeah there was, all because of (1960) U-2 which was when this fucker named Francis Gary Powers flew an American plane over MY town and I shot that motherfucker down and captured his skanky ass.

I confronted that America bitch who admitted to have been flying spy planes over my fucking place. I wanted that shit head in prison for 10 years, but after serving 2 years I let him go for an exchange for one of my bitches(one of his spies)

And this only raised the tension's even more, if that was even fucking possible.

Then the space race started, taking away million and billions of my money just because of fucking America. It was like a race, we were both competing on modern technology, space, everything. It was just a big ass fucking mess.

But the reason I 'lost' this fucking shit is because of money. I lost so much fucking money due to many damn things.

One of them was with oil. When this Saudi Arabia bitch named Sheikh Ahmed Zaki Yamani, the minister of oil there wanted to fucking alter the oil policy's. It left them with getting million and billions while it left me losing 20 BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS A YEAR.

And then my food imports went fucking down by ANOTHER 20 BILLION FUCKIGN DOLLARS. But we had to keep our military up to date because most of my cities depended on military-industrial complex.

But then I made a new policy (Doesn't say what it was though!) hoping that it would start to get rid of all the other fucking problems. But instead of paying attention to the problems I started borrowing doe from other countries. My borrowing was REALLY shitty between 1985 - 1988 while in 1989 I was stalling.

But then all my fucking money was gone, so I created 300 banks so they all had to give me a fucking huge ass loan in 1989. But those bitches! Only FIVE of them would loan me money and it would be 20 times SMALLER than what I needed! I mean, what the fuck! I need that fucking money!

And then, OH THIS SHIT JUST GETS BETTER. And then I get fucking warning from Deutsche Bank and other banks that I loaned money from tell me that my funds wouldn't come from any commercial sources.

Then, on top of that, all the cold war shit was happening, and more money loss. I lost a war in Afghanistan, and I got a new leader named Gorbachev.

This guy is my fucking hero because he was determined to put an end to the cold war. He also put an end to Soviet support clients in Eastern Europe and in Cuba. And he also improved my fucking relationship with America.

But one think I didn't like was that he didn't like the idea of communisum and took steps on becoming a democratic system. And he also relaxed the police state repression.

He didn't expect us to fall though. Since my country was so big we needed more police officers and all. Then our bitchy ass's fell into 16 different nations.

Now, I'm just Mr. Fucking Russia. And that is all I'll probably ever will be.

Mr. Fucking Russia is out.

* * *

*** I am making Gangstertalia into its own story, so if you like it be sure to check it out!***


	25. Kirkland's English Class

Yo sup playa?! You know what? I'm just like, going to talk to you guys before plays and shit. And Miranda is still banned from Omegle, she checks daily. But here is a new play about like, teacher frustration. And this play also has yours truly in it! So, like yay!

Enjoy~

~Felisk

* * *

Kirkland's English Class

Yao- Ok everyone! you have a new English Teacher. He should be coming in soon. * Hears door open up, reviling a fuzzy eye browed man*

Arthur- Hello everyone! I'm Mr. Kirkland and I'll be your new English teacher.

Yao- *Whispers to Mr. Kirkland* Now, I wish you luck. They drove the last teacher out.

Arthur- *Face panicked.* H-h-how?...

Yao- Ok everyone! Have fun! And be nice to Mr. Kirkland... I'm looking at YOU Francis! * Looks at Francis, pointing his finger at him. Francis gave him back the deathly glare and pointed back*

Arthur- * Thinking* What did I get myself into...

Alfred- Dude! Where ya from?! Your accent is THICK!

Arthur- I'm from England.

Alfred- WOOE!* Throws self back down in chair* That's cool.

Arthur- *Smiles* So, lets go around the room and say some things about our selves? I'll start. My names Mr. Kirkland and I like to cook. Now, Alfred, you go.

Alfred- Ok, My names Alfred, and I like cheeseburgers!

Arthur- Ok, now the person beside you says their name and what the like and so forth.

Matthew- O-O-oh.. M-my names M-Matthew and I like polar bears.

Gilbert- MY NAMES GILBERT AND I LIKE BEING AWESOME! Kesesesesese~

Ludwig- My names Ludwig and I like exercise.

Hungary- My names Chad and I like to lift weights! *** She will be seen as a guy in this!***

Kiku- My names Kiku and I like piece and quite...

Young Soo- MY NAMES YOUNG SOO AND I LIKE KIKU'S BREASTS!

Kiku- I TOLD YOU NO ALONG TIME AGO!

Arthur- No yelling please!

Peter- My names Peter and I like Transformers!

Felisk- My names like, Felisk, and I like ponies, hipster pink, and like, shopping.

Francis- My names Francis and I like roses. * Winks.*

Arthur- Well ok everyone! Thank you for letting me get to know your names, I know you guys will be a good group of kids.

~~~One month later~~~

Arthur- * Dragging his self into the room, everyone is up gathering around Alfred's desk* Everyone sit down! * Everyone hurry's to their desks* Ok, today we will be reading the Land Lady.

Alfred- * throws body across desk* GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Arthur- PULL YOUR SELF TOGETHER AND PICK UP A PAPER. * Hands him paper.*

*Everyone is reading the paper quietly*

Arthur- *Thinking* Maybe they'll be good today.* FELISK PUT THE MIRROR DOWN!

Felisk- Aw... *Puts little mirror back in pocket*

Arthur- * Thinking* Maybe...

Matthew- * Eats the piece of candy that Alfred gave everyone*

Arthur- *Sees Matthew eat the candy* No candy, Matthew. Please go spit it out.

Matthew- Aww... ok.. * Gets up and walks to trash can*

Alfred- NO ONE TELLS MY BROTHER WHAT TO DO! MATTHEW, EAT THAT CANDY. THIS IS AMERICA, LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE! * Stands from chair, pointing at Matthew.*

Arthur- SIT DOWN ALFRED. IS THIS YOUR CLASS ROOM?

Alfred- NO BUT THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY!

Arthur- SIT DOWN BEFORE I GET MR. WANG IN HERE! * Alfred sits down as Matthew came back from the trash can*

Francis & Gilbert- * Snickering*

Arthur- YOU TWO! WHATS SO BLOODY FUNNY?!

Francis- N-nothing.

Arthur- WANG? WANG? IS IT MR. WANG? IS IT MR. WANG THAT'S SO FUNNY!?

Francis & Gilbert- * Laughing hysterically, Gilbert falling on his desk*

Arthur- DONT BE SO IMMATURE! * Sighs* Is everyone done reading?

* Everyone looks up from paper*

Arthur-Ok, tell me about he story, Chad.

Chad- Well the guy needed a place to stay, so he went to this really cheap inn and the woman only had 2 other names in the check in sheet.

Arthur- Yes, and then what happened Francis?

Francis- He died at the end.

Arthur- Is that what happens next!?

Francis- No, but it does happen after that.

Arthur- Oh wel- YOUNG SOO, STOP FOOLING AROUND BACK THERE!

Young Soo- *Takes hands off of Kiku's chest and Sighs disappointedly*

Kiku- T-thank you, very much.

Arthur- Alright, well since no one wants to willingly answer these questions, I made a sheet of questions for you guys to answer. Who wants to pass them out?

Peter- ME! ME! ME! *Throwing hand all over, almost hitting Felisk in the face*

Felisk- HEY! Like, watch the fucking face!

Peter- OHHHHH! MR. KIRKLAND HE SAID A BAD WORD!

Arthur- Well I didn't hear it but pass out the papers * Holds papers out as he got up, walking up but Felisk puts his foot out a trips him. Peter falling*

Peter- FELISK! HE TRIPPED ME!

Felisk- NO I LIKE, DIDNT! HE TOTALLY TRIPPED FROM HIS SHOE LACES!

Arthur- THEY'RE NOT EVEN UNTIED!

Kiku- EVERYONE PLEASE STOP YELLING! * Stands up putting hands over ears, shutting his eyes tightly*

Arthur- KIKU! SIT DOWN AND DONT TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY CLASS ROOM!

Francis- * Whispers to Ludwig*Well, you're not doing a very good job.

Arthur- WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Peter! Get up here and pass papers out, please!

*Peter gets up and passes papers out, when he got to Felisk they gave each other a death glare.*

Alfred- *Raising hand*

Arthur- Yes?

Alfred- I need help.

Arthur- With? * Gets up from desk walking over to Alfred*

Alfred- A word. I don't know it. * Arthur comes over and looks over paper.*

Arthur- Which one?

Alfred- This one. * points at a word.

Arthur- The? You don't know the?.

Alfred- no.. oh! and this one.

Arthur- Land...

Alfred- This one too.

Arthur- Lady... * Growing angry*

Alfred- and this one.

Arthur- Was... * About to burst*

Alfred- this is boring! Can I work with the Canadian?

Arthur- No, you may certainly NOT! YOU HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR OWN FOR THIS! IT'S REALLY SAD THAT YOU DIDNT KNOW THE WORDS ' THE, LAND, LADY AND WAS'

Alfred- * Looks at him confused.*... what?...

Arthur- *Falling to his knees, Pulling his hair* SHOULD I TALK SLOWER? SHOULD I TALK SLOWER TO YOU? TO THIS CLASS?! ALL OF YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID!

Peter- *Gasps* He said a bad word...

Arthur- YES PETER. YES. I SAID A BAD WORD AND I WILL BE SAYING MORE.

Alfred- I'm not stupid! you said I was smart before!

Arthur- I lied.

Alfred- Oh. Well WHO NEEDS SMARTNESS WHEN YOU HAVE FREEDOM? THE ONLY LETTERS I NEED TO KNOW ARE U, S, AND A!

Arthur- GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!

Francis- That's sexy... is that his mating call?

Kiku- Mr. Kirkland! Young Soo is touching me again!

Young Soo- AM NOT!

Kiku- NO MEANS NO! Please respect my personal space!

Alfred- Stop yelling! You're scaring Matthew!

Arthur- MATTHEW! WHY ARE YOU SCARED?!

Matthew- Ahhh! I-I-I-I Don't like it when people yell at me! * Eyes getting teary*

Arthur- YOU'RE TOO SENSITIVE!

Gilbert- OI! DONT TALK TO MATTIE LIKE THAT!

Ludwig- * puts head in hand* It's happening again!

Gilbert- Mr. Kirkland! Luddy's got a boner!

Ludwig- WHAT?! NO I DONT!

Gilbert- but you said it was happening again!?

Ludwig - I MWAN WE ARE LOOSING ANOTHER TEACHER!

Chad- * Thinking* My disguise! It's messing up! * Front part tearing, making her chest being shown threw a shirt she had underneath.*

Francis- WOE! CHAD!? You're a chick!? So you mean we could have been something more!?

Chad- SHUT UP YOU!

Young Soo- * Eyes star-y* I want to touch those breasts! DA ZEE!

Arthur- EVERYONE, KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES, CHAD, OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU, AND EVERYONE JUST SETTLE DOWN BEFORE I HAVE A HEART ATTACK!

Felisk- LIKE, EVERYONE! KEEP MESSING UP!

Arthur- FELISK, YOUR HAIR! IT'S A MESS!

Felisk- * Gasping loudly, hands going up to hair* IS IT REALLY!?

Arthur- YEAH! GO TO THE BATHROOM AND LOOK AT IT! IT'S SO BAD!

Felisk- * Running out of room, hands covering head*

Peter- WHY YOU LIE!?

Arthur- BECAUSE ONE LESS KID MEANS ONE LESS WITNESS!

Kiku- What do you mean?

Arthur- I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS CLASS. YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST CLASS I'VE EVER HAD!

Francis- Fact or opinion?

Arthur- BOTH! Alfred, you're a stupid mother fucker, Matthew, you need to speak the fuck up, Gilbert you're too self centered, Ludwig you're ok, Chad I don't even know about you, Felisk if he was in here I'd say he is too preppy, peter you're suck a little tattle tail, Kiku you're sexually harassed, you're going to need help later in life, Young Soo you need to keep your hands to yourself and Francis, YOU'RE JUST PLAIN ANNOYING AND YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ATTITUDE CHECK. * Takes big gasp*

Felisk- Hey you stupid motherfucking bitch! You lied to me! My hair's like, fucking fabulous!

Arthur- WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WALKING IN HERE WITH LANGUAGE LIKE THAT DUMBASS DRAMA KING!?

Felisk- *Stares into his eyes intimidatingly.*

Arthur- * Returning the stare*

Francis- *Grabs book and throws it at Arthurs face, hitting him on the side of his head*

Arthur- WHO THE FUCK DID THAT?!

Peter- FRANCIS!

Francis- Peter must want a raping session.

Peter- * Head tilts to the side* What's rape?

Francis- You'll find out later tonight.

Peter- OH BOY! I'M GETTING RAPE TONIGHT!

Arthur- PETER DONT SAY THAT!

Peter- What? That I'm getting rape? I get it! Others would get jealous! Ok, I gotcha!

Gilbert- * Whispers to Francis and Ludwig* We should call Mr. Kirkland Mr. Bushy Brows.

Francis- HEY MR. BUSY BROWS!

Arthur- * Cover's eye brows with hands* HEY! DONT CALL ME THAT MR. BRIGHT CLOTHING!

Francis- WELL AT LEAST I HAVENT BEEN EATEN THEN THROWN UP BY A SPARKLE FAIRY LIKE FELISK OVER THERE!

Felisk- YOU BITCHES ARE LIKE, JUST HATIN' ON MY FABULOUS LOOKS. YOU TOTALLY WISH YOU HAD MY STYLE.

Arthur- FELISK! STOP CUSSING!

Matthew- A-Alfred! Make the yelling stop! * Going into fetal position in his chair, crying softly*

Alfred- Will do.* determined face*

Kiku- ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES BETTER STOP FUCKING YELLING BEFORE I FUCKING COME AND POP A CAP UP ALL Y'ALL'S ASSES! * Cover's hand over his mouth.* I'm sorry. Please forgive me. * Everyone staring at Kiku*

Arthur- * Stares at Kiku, his face long.* This is fucking it. All you guys are fucking bitches. We have two cross dressers in here, three perverts, a patriotic, a cry baby, a tattle tale, a secret gangster, and someone else who just sits there and watches his hole class go to shit. * Grabbing things behind his desk*

Yao- WHAT IS ALL THE YELLING IN HERE FOR- ARU!?

Arthur- THESE FUCKING KIDS ARE MONSTERS! THEY'LL ALL BE IN A JAIL OR PRISON BEFORE THEY'RE 23! IF YOU THINK I'M STAYING WITH THESE DUMBASS'S THEN YOU CAN GO FUCK A PORCUPINE. * Walking towards the door*

Yao- PLEASE! STAY! I'LL GIVE YOU A RISE! 5& MORE!

Arthur- FUCK YOU! * Opens door, slamming it shut.*

Yao- * Looking at door, really upset in a sad way. Turns to the kids* I hope you guys are happy! This is the fifth teacher you've had this year! Wait here while I go make some phone calls! * Walks out of room, really pissed*

* Everyone is smiling widely, even Ludwig, Kiku, and Matthew*

Felisk- Who like, still has the cross of sheet?

Ludwig- I do, number 5, down.

Francis -We are the best class ever, I still like his mating call.

Peter- Francis! Do I still have a raping session?

Francis- ... Yeah... * Smiles*

Peter- Yay! Ok.

~~~ One Week Later~~~

Yao- Everyone welcome your new teacher, Mr. Oxenstierna!

Berwald- * Waves slightly* Hello.

Francis- *Whispers* Game on.


	26. Berwald!(Sweden)

So, like hey! Miranda is totally jumping off the wall right now. Her story she posted on here called " Dark Guardian" ( which got reported AGIAN that's why its not on here) just like, totally got asked to join a community on Deviantart! She is like, pissing her self with excitement right now.

Today is the best day for her right now because Omegle is like, totally unbanned! LETS TRY TO KEEP IT THAT WAY TOO!

So, everyone, please enjoy Miranda's fabulous mood today, it is very rare.

Enjoy some Swedish-ness coming from Berwald, requested!

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello

**Stranger:** horny m

**You:** oh...

**You:** so.. how are you?

**Stranger:** 17

**You:** how are you* Not how old are you

**You:** so lets try again

**You:** how are you?

**Stranger:** really hard

**You:** Oh, well that's nice I assume?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Damn kids need to get their eyes check -_-

Number two~

(P.S- I have to type in these shitty ass codes now XD But I guess it's my own fault)

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hello

**Stranger:** hey x

**You:** how are you?

**Stranger:** good you

**You:** great. Glad you're good as well

**You:** so what do you want to talk about? I'm not very good at talking to people...

**You:** or starting conversations

**Stranger:** all depends on your asl

**You:** Ok? 17 male Sweden

**You:** and yourself?

**Stranger:** 17 f

**Stranger:** what dyou want me to do to myself..?

**You:** Um... talk to me? I guess

**You:** or whatever it is you want to do

**You:** Just don't hurt yourself.

**Stranger: **My pussys waiting

**You: **Oh... I'm sorry, I have relations with any other, your vital regions aren't interesting me at this moment.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Well, I didn't want it .

Number 3~

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello

**Stranger:** hi

**Stranger:** asl?

**You:** 17 male Sweden

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** 19 female US

**You:** oh, so how are you?

**Stranger:** my webcaaaam blacked out on here but looks ok on this link

**Stranger:** *******************

**You:** I really don't want to see you

**You:** no

**You:** I don't want to see it

**Stranger:** you can right click to copy my blog url

**You:** stop

**You:** I SAID NO

**Stranger:** mmm go there and press play and we can talk?

**You:** NO

**You:** WE ARE TALKING NOW

**You:** and I don't want to see you

**You:** you look nasty

**You:** you look like if I touched you, you'd be sticky

**You:** and I don't like that

**Stranger:** mmm do ya think I look sexy there?!

**You:** Mrs. Cum shot

**You:** NO

**You:** You look so odd, not even Francis would love you

**Stranger:** mmm im gettiing bored here, see you on the link above

**You:** Mrs. Cum shot, please stop sharing your body to the world

**Stranger:** cya

**You:** I am not going on that link

**You:** fuck you

You have disconnected.

* * *

Woe! I'm such a bitch! But no one wants to see that, am I right? But Berwald got pissy!

Number 4~

* * *

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello

**Stranger:** meow

**You:** cats?

**You:** Hello little fella

**Stranger:** ahhah:)

**Stranger:** i have two

**You:** I have none.

**Stranger:** oh

**You:** yeah

**Stranger:** get one ahah

**You:** no, I already have a kid I adopted, he's enough

**Stranger:** ahh right

**You:** I have to buy him transformers every month

**You:** his addictions getting out of hand

**You:** I worry about his future

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Yeah, I just found out that Sealand was sold and bought by Sweden, so he's going to be the papa :3

* * *

So, the next one will probably be whatever I want unless I get more request. If I haven't done your request, requested it again! I've been doing Yao ALL morning, trying to get conversations with him and I cant get any! And I know the first part of that sentence was wrong, but it's the truth.

Any request? And I don't think I'll be doing Young Soo anymore. At the very end of this, I'm planning on having a big thing for it since:

1. My most popular story

2. It was SO much fun doing this.

3. I just think it's the right thing to do.

I will do EVER character you can think of on this thing, only once though. Can you imagine that chapter!? It's going to be HUGE. But I have an ending set up for this sadly, and it will be in the some time in the summer. Most likely the beginning.

But I will probably do something like this again. So, it's not a complete good bye for it.

Request?

( - I will still do plays though. And I'm thinking of doing a part two for ' Kirkland's English Class' sometime soon.)


	27. Lukas!(Norway)

Lukas, he was so hard to do! But, I think I sort of managed, he will have a few. So, enjoy~

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hi...

**Stranger:** hey

**You:** I see a fairy next to you...

**You:** tell her hi

**Stranger:** i don't see her

**You:** they're very sensitive creatures

**You:** just do it, I can see it

**You:** did you do it?

**Stranger:** of course

**You:** you better

**You:** I mean, if you didn't she'd take a shit in your cereal tomorrow

**Stranger:** hey. don't doubt me when it comes to the fae folk

**You:** ok, good.

**You:** Just... please.. do as I say

**You:** I'm an expert at this

**Stranger:** are you a cryptozoologist?

**You:** no

**You:** I was born with the ability to sense this.

**You:** I don't really study it, I just know it

**You:** I was born with the power

**Stranger:** what else can you do?

**You:** Well, I can also do backflips

**You:** but you're probably not interested in that

**Stranger:** whoa

**Stranger:** no

**Stranger:** backflips

**Stranger:** =

**Stranger:** the shit

**You:** I know, I am the shit

**Stranger:** and i love the modesty

**You:** I can also talk to trolls and fairies, and a hole bunch of other creatures

**You:** I know, you have to

**You:** Oh my god

**You:** You didn't tell the fairy hi, did you?

**You:** She probably killed you

**Stranger:** no, i definitely did

**You:** I knew it

**You:** dumbass

**You:** Oh, ok good

**Stranger:** ::dies dramatically::

**You:** Whelp you lied, how does it feel to not listen to me?

**You:** It causes deaths.

**Stranger:** i don't feel anything. i'm dead

**You:** Oh, so this is the ghost I'm communicating to?

**Stranger:** yup

**You:** Oh, well that's nice.

**You:** Your body will make a great meal for the trolls that are with you

**You:** they love flesh

**Stranger:** there are no trolls here

**Stranger:** i would know

**You:** Bitch

**You:** no you wouldn't know

**You:** I would know

**You:** not you

**You:** me

**Stranger:** great. you called a ghost a bitch on the internet. impressive

**You:** I know. Well, you are a bitch.

**You:** I have great power, don't I?

**Stranger:** apparently

**You:** I know I do, now, why did you die?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Number two~

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hello...

**Stranger:** hello

**You:** how are you?

**Stranger:** I'm pretty good thanks. Yourself?

**You:** Well pretty good too I guess.

**You:** Glad you're well too

**Stranger:** What brings you to omegle stranger?

**You:** My 'friend' Mathis told me to get on

**You:** he said 'it was fun'

**You:** yourself?

**Stranger:** And then you got bombarded my pervs once you got on here I assume?

**You:** Pretty much

**Stranger:** I'm just looking to kill some time

**You:** Ah. Nice

**Stranger:** Something to do while I listen to music mostly

**You:** Oh. I'm listening to music too.

**You:** what are you listening to?

**Stranger:** Foals

**You:** Oh nice. Never heard of them. I'm listening to the mating call of trolls

**Stranger:** Not heard of that either haha

**You:** Oh, their not a band or anything. It's just the mating calls of trolls put on a download thing. It's quite something for when I go troll hunting

**Stranger:** Hahaha

**You:** I really do, and fairy hunting, I like fairy hunting the most

**You:** so what do you do in your spare time?

**Stranger:** Kill those little flying bastards!

**You:** Well, if you don't say hi to them when you're in their presents, they take a shit on the closet family member you love

**You:** I hunt them, and you would NOT believe how many times a day I say hi -_-

**You:** I hunt them to reduce the population, so I am sort of killing them

**Stranger:** ಠ.ಠ

**You:** I speakith the truth

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Number 3~

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hello

**You:** HELLO

**Stranger:** ^.^ hi there.. I'm 22 f usa :), you?

**You:** m 17 Norway

**You:** way do you want to know...

**Stranger:** great.. you want to cam?

**You:** no...?

**You:** Why do you ask this?

**Stranger:** ok lets chat here /linda-87?secret=pn3m

**You:** I do not want to see you

**Stranger:** we might. fucj

**You:** No, we will not 'fuck'

**Stranger:** lets meet you There! :D

**You:** I will cast a spell over you

**You:** NO I WILL NOT SEE YOU THERE

**Stranger:** Waiting for ya :)) bye bye

**You:** THE SPELL WILL MAKE YOU BE LESS OF A HOE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

There's Norway ^.^

I will be doing Denmark again, Sweden again, defiantly Finland again... His got out of hand if you can remember XD

And Iceland too!

And since Sweden purchased Sealand, I guess I'll do him again too. Bye! ^.^


	28. Emil!(Iceland)

WARNING! This bitch was nasty! Masturbation is mentioned, Justin Beiber Dissing, and me ranting about bad grammar! Enjoy ~

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hi

**Stranger:** 16,female

**You:** oh nice.. Um.. 17 m Iceland

**You:** how are you?

**Stranger:** i'm good and you

**You:** good too. So, what is it you want to talk about

**Stranger:** dnt know anything haha why you on this

**You:** I was bored and got on

**You:** and you?

**Stranger:** want me to b honest

**Stranger:** ...

**You:** um, sure

**Stranger:** i was horny and wanted someone to talk to me on this only

**You:** Oh.. Well everyone has urges?

**Stranger:** yep haha

**You:** So, what's your name?

**Stranger:** justine and yu

**You:** Emil. I know, it's a girl's name -_-

**You:** I like your name, very... cute

**Stranger:** haha why thank you i like your name

**You:** Thanks. So how lucky have you gotten with this 'cybering' thing ?

**Stranger:** dnt know what your talking abt haha

**You:** your urges. And you told me you wanted to talk dirty on this thing, I wanted to know if you've gotten to do it on here

**Stranger:** yeah but most ppl want to talk on other stuff and am like no i just want dirty talk is that hard to ask for

**You:** all I see is things for kik

**You:** and I'm like, what the fuck is that shit?

**Stranger:** yeah same am like no i just want to get over my urges and get on with my life

**You:** well if you want to get over your urges, why don't you just... you know. Not sex, but... the alternative

**Stranger:** but dirty talk turns me on and i can only use the shower head and its late

**You:** Oh.. Ouch. That sounds like it hurts more than anything

**Stranger:** no its amazing like the jet setting with the water hitting on your clit its amazing

**You:** Oh... well, that's interesting.

**You:** I'll... I'll keep that in mind?

**Stranger:** haha you learn something knew everyday ehh

**You:** Yeah.. You really do.. So what do you do in your free time?

**Stranger:** i dance wby

**Stranger:** and play drums

**You:** oh nice. I don't do much but play with my puffin

**Stranger:** haha cool xxx

**You:** Yep, so anything else interesting you have to say?

**Stranger:** what kind of music do you like

**You:** Hmm... I mostly listen to classical. You?

**Stranger:** justin bieber

**You:** Ah. Nice. He's that boy that people call a girl?

**Stranger:** yes but i dnt know why they say it...he's like so manly

**You:** oh.. let me look up a picture of him

**You:** I look more manly than him.. Sorry

**Stranger:** he's still manly you typed in 2013 didn't you

**You:** yes? Because that's him now

**Stranger:** yeah...

**You:** he still doesn't look manly

**You:** I]I'm sorry,

**Stranger:** he does

**You:** not very.

**Stranger:** how doesn't he

**You:** he looks just doesn't.

**Stranger:** he looks like every other guy that walks arnd this planet with fashion sense and muscles

**You:** he looks like he could cry any minute now

**You:** No, not really.

**Stranger:** yes really...dude most men style their look on him

**You:** Yeah, because I will most defiantly bring a picture of him and say ' make me look like this! Money is no object' next time I go to the hair cutters

**Stranger:** boys envy him bc he can make their girlfriends scream by breathing

**Stranger:** yeah you look at his old hair cut boy went to the barbers and said can i have the bieber hair cut,it was on the news

**Stranger:** boys

**You:** ... this was on the news?

**Stranger:** and now many are going and asking for the new bieber hair cut

**Stranger:** yes it was

**You:** Wait, hold the fuck up

**You:** this.

**You:** was on

**You:** the news

**Stranger:** yes

**You:** WHATS THE IMPORTANCE IN THIS!?

**Stranger:** that many boy wanted this hair cut bc bieber had it

**You:** the news is meant to inform people on important things. Not, not this

**Stranger:** it is important it was telling you how this young canadian boy has took over they word with his style and voice

**Stranger:** world

**You:** His voice isn't the best

**Stranger:** omg leave now how the fuck can you say that he is flawless and his voice is beautiful

**You:** My voice is flawless, just like my hair.

**You:** Anyone can say that,

**Stranger:** he doesn't say that

**You:** I'm sure he thinks it

**Stranger:** if he wasn't good why would he b so famous

**Stranger:** why would he b touring the world letting ppl hear him sing

**You:** why is Kim Kardashian famous?

**You:** Why is paris Hilton famous?

**Stranger:** if he isnt any good why has he been giving so many awards for his singing

**You:** These are life's unanswerable questions

**Stranger:** why did he sing for the president bc ppl want to hear him sing

**You:** Because, of audio tune

**You:** I don't live in America

**You:** but its probably because he had nothing better to do, so he called up your president and said 'hey baby, let me sing for you'

**Stranger:** shut the fuck up mate he came from youtube he couldn't use audio tune and he can't use it live and i dnt come from america am scottish

**Stranger:** no he never just sit the fuck doon

**You:** Doon?

**You:** I am not going to 'sit the fuck doon'

**You:** type... let the frustration flow threw your finger tips

**Stranger:** well you should bc you don't know what your talking abt justin is amazing and many have said it so your opinion is pointless

**You:** ...I don't think you know what you're talking about

**Stranger:** listen ya fanny i know what am talk abt so dnt even say that to me

**You:** well, I do not understand such horrific grammar like this

**Stranger:** its scottish

**You:** and English isn't even my native tongue

**You:** dnt is Scottish?

**You:** yeah, I bet

**Stranger:** am scottish not english,its short for don't

**You:** Well, it's stupid

**You:** it's not

**Stranger:** how

**Stranger:** its my language

**You:** 'Scottish' it's called slang for lazy bitches

**Stranger:** no it isn't

**You:** if you're going to have the time to talk to someone, at least have the decency to type it all out

**You:** don't be rude, it takes more time out of my day for a lazy person like you

**Stranger:** so if a french person was to use french arnd you would that b stupid naw because its their language and how they speak!

**Stranger:** am naw lazy am just speaking how i've been brought up to speak

**You:** Speak! That's how they speak! I'm not dissing their language, I'm just saying that's NOT Scottish! I'm not that stupid

**You:** Well, they should have done a better job with spelling

**Stranger:** its is scottish i live in fucking glasgow

**You:** and first, we're not speaking, were typing , spelling, and reading.. Oooo!

**You:** well that's fucking fantastic

**Stranger:** well its how i speak so its how i type

**You:** but that's how ENGLISH TEENAGERS use slang words to spell. It's also called texting language

**You:** Well it sucks

**Stranger:** go suck dick ya fanny

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Number two- More horny bitches :3

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hello

**Stranger:** hey, ASL?

**You:** 17 male Iceland

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** 19, f, Cali ;)

**You:** oh, well hello.

**You:** how are you/

**Stranger:** wanna see me?

**You:** wanna see you?...

**You:** how?.

**Stranger:** I'm on cam free at

**You:** oh god -_-

**You:** I don't want to see you

**You:** I'm sorry, I don't like your face

**You:** it frightens me, greatly

**Stranger:** it's totally free come look, they always ban me on here for getting naked

**You:** I believe you are the spawn of satan

**Stranger:** pleez come look :D

**You:** I don't want to see you

**You:** no

**You:** you're nasty

**You:** You're probably sticky, and full of glitter

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Next is Raddibaba! Remember him from Finland's lovely chat! He'll be A LOT of fun!


	29. Tino!(Finland!- Number 2 )

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hi ^.^

**Stranger:** looking a girl just to talk

**You:** Why doe sit have to be a girl if you just want to talk to them?

**You:** You can talk to a guy

**You:** or cant you?

**You:** I can talk to anyone

**You:** anyone at all

**You:** I love to talk to people

**Stranger:** guys are stupid..i don't like tot alk to them

**You:** Well you're talking to one now

**You:** I'm not stupid

**You:** you're stupid

**You:** don't label people like that

**Stranger:** okey

**Stranger:** where r u from?

**You:** Finland.

**You:** And you?

**Stranger:** Brazil

**Stranger:** how old?

**You:** 17

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** 19

**Stranger:** what is your name?

**You:** Tino

**You:** and yours?

**Stranger:** Flavio

**Stranger:** nice to meet you

**Stranger:** yout name is cool bro

**You:** Nice to meet you too

**You:** Thanks. Yours too

**Stranger:** do you like sports?

**You:** Eh. Not really

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** yep..i play tennis and volley

**Stranger:** play any instrument?

**You:** I like sowing more than sports

**You:** Does mayonnaise count as an instrument?

**Stranger:** haha..i dont think so

**Stranger:** do you work a a farm?

**You:** I think it does. It makes noises

**You:** you?

**Stranger:** nop'...but u lik' to sow

**You:** nop lik' ?

**You:** what da hell?

**You:** I am NOT getting on anyone else about their motherfucking damn grammar, but er mer gerd.

**You:** I just like to sow because of reasons

**You:** You know if you're not going to talk to me I'll talk to myself till you respond

**Stranger:** I think your friend left

**You:** Well that's good. I like practicing talking to people by talking to myself

**You:** so stay here

**You:** watch t.v

**Stranger:** I'll give you another.

**You:** while I practice

**You:** I don't want another friend

**You:** I want motherfucking practice

**You:** DONT START TYPING

**Stranger:** Ok?

**You:** STOP

**You:** NOW

**You:** go watch T.V

**You:** and let me practice

**You:** you may watch,

**You:** but no comments

**You:** got it?

**You:** good. no respond

**You:** My friend Berwald has been touching me lately. In my no no area.

**You:** and I tend to like it, like it a lot

**You:** I saw him stare at Ivan the other day, then for some weird reason Ivan started to dance like a sloth.

**You:** It was so strange, he just stood there and waved his arms slowly.

**Stranger:** Your friends sound weird.

**You:** Sloths are so stupid

**You:** I SAID NO INTERRUPTIONS

**You:** as I WAS SAYING BEFORE BEING CUT OFF RUDELY

**Stranger:** Tell me

**You:** sloths are stupid. They die sometimes by grabbing their arm thinking it's a tree branch, then, fall to their death

**You:** WELL THEN DONT FUCKING INTERUPT ME YOU DOUCHE

**Stranger:** hello

**You:** I'M PRACTISING

**Stranger:** 20 f finland

**You:** WHY YOU LIE

**Stranger:** Nice

**You:** I DONT WANT YOU

**Stranger:** Whats ur name

**You:** STOOOOOOOOOOOP

**You:** my name is SHUT THE FUCK UP

**Stranger:** im jennifer

**Stranger:** Nice to meet you

**You:** I DONT CARE

**You:** AS I WAS SAYING

**Stranger:** wanna join me

**You:** NO

**Stranger:** add me here

**You:** I WANT TO PRACTISE

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**You:** NEIN

**You:** ...

**You:** I'M NOT EVEN GERMAN

**You:** BERWLAD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TOUCH ME

**You:** GET YOUR WHORE HANDS OFF ME

**You:** ok, so you fucking interrupt me then take forever to type

**You:** there's a special place in hell for people like you, bitch

**Stranger:** I am not the bitch but the Seer. What mental issues do you currently have?

**You:** I have none, thank you

**You:** how many STD's do you currently have?

**Stranger:** Ten. On a scale of one to ten, how bored are you anon

**You:** well, I was having fun practicing

**You:** but your ass hole got over here and made me talk to you

**Stranger:** Want me to find you a new partner? Or do you want this one to disappear so you can practice?

**You:** I need practice. But, at the end you may bring forth a peasant so they speak with me

**You:** So, as I was saying.

**Stranger:** Kàn dào.

**You:** I don't care

**Stranger:** Practice for fucks sake.

**You:** anyway,

**You:** I WAS GETTING FOOD BITCH

**You:** ANY FUCKING WAY

**You:** I was at the store the other day, trying on shoes and this little boy dressed in spiderman pjs came up to me and said ' but I'm not a rapper' and ran off in the darkness of the store

**You:** I followed him, yelling ' come forth' and he only hissed at me. I think he was part cat, because he smelled like cat pee

**You:** I then heard rustling in the back of the store

**You:** Knowing he was back there, I went back there as well. I looked up and saw he was on the top of the boxes, flexing his 'muscles' he had. He was laughing at me, so I threw a book at him. He came trampling down and fell on the floor

**You:** he looked at me, his eyes radiating with guilt, he said ' I'm sorry... I am a rapper. I lied."

**You:** ' damn right' I started, my foot in front of his face as I looked down on him, like a fucking god. " I am a rapper, you're the armature here." Then, we had a rap battle

**You:** he won...

**You:** you may speak to me now

**You:** come forth

**Stranger:** What now

**You:** what now?

**You:** what else? what else do you want from me?

**Stranger:** I don't believe you can rap.

**You:** I bet I can

**You:** look, I'll do it know

**You:** Irandownthestreetandsawacat,thecatwentrareandiwant het

**Stranger:** That is rather bad. No wonder a kid beat you.

**You:** ONIRHGIOWEOIB[U4IWNEOBVOU[WJGO43OIBUIHROGO43OI4B5U IFRGIO43IOHY9834BKSDPBGINH[UIRE

**You:** EXCUSE ME

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**You:** NIO

**You:** NO

**You:** NO

**Stranger:** Niet

**You:** NO

**You:** WATCH YOUR FUCKING SLEF RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT GETS UGLY. ALMOST AS UGLY AS YO MAMA'S FACE, BUT NOT THAT EXTREME

**Stranger:** My mama's face was ugly since the time I mixed my semen with acid and made her taste it.

**You:** ... Well, that's just lovely

**Stranger:** Yes it was. She liked the taste, but not the after-taste, a bit too stingy if you know what I mean.

**You:** Ahh... That is amazing.

**You:** So, what else do you do in your free time?

**Stranger:** Anyway i want to share something with you. After that truly profound story of yours.

**Stranger:** Glad you asked, that was my next story.

**You:** Ok, continue

**You:** and my story was the work of a master

**You:** WELL NOW YOU LEAVE ME

**You:** AGIAN

**You:** DAMN IT

**You:** I TOLD YOU ALREADY,

**Stranger:** Nonono

**Stranger:** I just am a busy man.

**You:** THEN WORK FASTER

**You:** I DONT GIVE A SHIT

**You:** I AM TO

**You:** well, more practice I guess

**You:** I ate a bowel of cereal for breakfast today, it was salty... I don't know why...

**Stranger:** Anyway while we wait, I can give you a little guide.

**You:** then my orange juice was awesome, but then I ate some chocolate, and it had peanuts in it and I found out that Ravis was allergenic to them so I couldn't eat them.

**You:** ok

**You:** go

**Stranger:** Ever had an enemy you wanted to hurt?

**You:** YES

**You:** All the time

**Stranger:** Alright, I will show you how. Without ever really touching that person.

**You:** ok

**You:** tell me, oh wise one

**You:** bitch, start tyoing.

**Stranger:** After

**You:** after?

**Stranger:** You have adopted said person and placed them in a room

**Stranger:** You make it all mental.

**You:** Mathis wont see it coming...

**You:** Wait.. what?

**Stranger:** One night you quietly fix a whole lot of sharp knives and torture tools on the wall adjacent to him.

**Stranger:** Then when he wakes up all he sees is tools.

**You:** oh

**You:** ok

**Stranger:** Don't say anything about htem. He will just assume you are going to use them on him.

**You:** Oh..well, that's nice too

**Stranger:** Then put headphones and a blind fold on. Set the headphones to load and make the play 'white noise' the sound you hear between stations when tuning a radio. Play that for days.

**You:** ok

**You:** whelp, is that all you have to say?

**Stranger:** He won't go deaf but soon enough he will think he is. After a week when you take the headphones off he won't hear for a week or so, when he thinks he is deaf he will start to freak even more.

**You:** Oh my gosh, this is dark XD

**Stranger:** Then you put a large tv right in front of him. So close that he can see nothing but the screen, nad have it play a single white bright image.

**Stranger:** That will burn his retina and while not making him blind agaim will make it impossible to see after a few days.

**You:** the hell is wrong with you, man

**You:** WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU

**Stranger:** His sight will gradually restore but as you are taking away his senses just keep messing with him.

**Stranger:** Eventually.

**Stranger:** Let him go.

**You:** Oh my gosh, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

**You:** I WILL PROBABLY TRY THIS LATER

**Stranger:** But convince him of something insane. Like give him LSD beforehand and tell him

**You:** BUT IN THE MEAN TIME

**You:** THE HELL

**You:** LSD

**You:** I WILL PICK SOME UP FROM SOMEONE THAT I SEE REGULARLY DOWN THE ROAD

**You:** let me go get it now...

You have disconnected.

* * *

A little out of character, like the first time -_-

But lets try a few more time.

* * *

Second~

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**Stranger:** m 17 with Kik

**You:** hello ^.^

**You:** oh

**You:** why ?

**You:** why do you have a kik?

**You:** you must want to sext

**You:** correct?

**Stranger:** asl

**You:** well, let just say I have a teenaged unicorn

**You:** in Finland with me as we speak

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Well, it seems I can't do Finland! This sucks .-.

But next, who ever the hell out of the Nordic's I want to do :3


	30. Ludwig!(Germany)

EVERYONE SAY HELLO TO LUDWIG WHO UNWILLINGLY AGREED TO PLAY! :D

And say hey to Felisk, too. you haven't talked to him in a while.

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger is using Omegle's mobile Web site ( on a phone or tablet)

**Stranger:** M20 with kik

**You:** Hello

**Stranger:** Hi

**You:** Are you applying to a job?

**You:** Because that information is required.

**Stranger:** That ok.

**You:** but not the kik

**Stranger:** U got kik?

**You:** Sir, I am asking the questions here

**Stranger:** F?

**You:** F?

**You:** Fuck you?

**Stranger:** Now i am

**You:** Fuck you too

**You:** No

**You:** nein

**Stranger:** I asked if ur a female

**You:** I am asking the questions.

**You:** I asked you to shut the fuck up

**Stranger:** U suck me?

**You:** What?!

**You:** No!?

**Stranger:** Suck me.

**You:** no

**You:** you suck me

**Stranger:** No

**Stranger:** Ur a guy.

**You:** Yes, yes I am

**You:** and you want a guy to suck you

**Stranger:** Suck me.

**You:** and I am not up for that

**You:** no

**Stranger:** Suck me.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Second~

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger is using Omegle's mobile Web site ( on a phone or tablet)

**You:** hello

**Stranger:** bebz

**You:** bebz?

**Stranger:** i love you

**You:** what is this you speak of?

**You:** oh..

**Stranger:** and your face

**You:** I'm sorry,

**You:** I know, my face is amazing

**Stranger:** work it gurl

**You:** I am?...

**Stranger:** or boyz

**Stranger:** cheese

**Stranger:** mushroom

**You:** Can you answer a few questions for me? I have this newspaper club at my school and my friend needs this

**Stranger:** sure

**You:** ok

**You:** first question is

**You:** How do you feel about pasta being made by forced child labor?

**You:** I didn't write this -_-

**Stranger:** oh i didnt know that it was

**You:** What what is?

**You:** Pasta?

**You:** how do you feel if children were forced to make it

**You:** good, or bad

**Stranger:** bad

**You:** ok. Bad.

**You:** Next, Why do you touch yourself at night?

**You:** FELI! WHY IS HE ASKING PEOPLE THIS

**Stranger:** i dont im 13

**Stranger:** ?

**You:** haha... When I was your age, nevermind.

**You:** Ok, so unanswered.

**You:** next is Do you watch hentai

**Stranger:** no

**You:** Ok, kiku must have gotten to these

**You:** do you even know what it is?

**Stranger:** no

**You:** oh dear god...

**You:** do you want to know?

**Stranger:** sure

**You:** Ok, it's anime, but in porn form.

**You:** Do you know what anime i9s

**You:** is*

**Stranger:** oh lovely

**Stranger:** yeah

**You:** it's quite... something.

**You:** But I prefer something else

**You:** anyway,

**You:** Next question is

**You:** Do you know who the hero is?

**Stranger:** this for your school newspaper?

**You:** YES

**You:** my school is fucked up -_-

**Stranger:** i can tell

**You:** ANSWER THE QUESTION

**Stranger:** what question?!

**You:** DO YOU KNOW WHO THE HERO IS

**You:** THAT ONE

**Stranger:** like any super hero?

**You:** no, the true hero

**Stranger:** idk

**You:** Well damn. ok then

**You:** Ok, next one is, will you suck Vash's pistol?

**You:** oh my god...

**Stranger:** no

**You:** ok, good.

**You:** Next one is, Will you take a ride in Antonio's van?

**Stranger:** no

**You:** ok

**You:** good

**You:** next one is Will you eat Arthur's scones? He made them with love apparently

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Third~

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** Hallo

**Stranger:** hey

**Stranger:** asl?

**You:** 17 m Germany

**Stranger:** 15 f usa

**You:** oh, ok

**You:** do you like bondage?

**Stranger:** bondage?

**You:** yes. Bondage

**Stranger:** whats bondage

**You:** where I tie your ass up and do what I like

**Stranger:** oh yes i love that

**You:** That's what I thought

**You:** But I am in control

**Stranger:** iknow i love being controlled

**You:** Oh that's nice. I will find you, and crack my whip on your ass

**Stranger:** but that would hurt i want pleasure

**You:** You have to deal with the pain to get to the pleasure

**You:** understand?

* * *

DAT PERVY SIDE DOU!

hope you enjoyed Luddy~


	31. Greece & The Wing Man Project

Not really him, but I got pretty pissed because he wouldn't give up the goods..

* * *

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**You:** hello

**Stranger:** m or f

**You:** male?...

**Stranger:** age

**You:** 17?

**Stranger:** where u live

**You:** Is this the censes or some shit?

**You:** I live in Greece

**Stranger:** no sorry hahs and cool

**You:** ok. And now you answer all the same questions

**You:** Oh, I see. When the damn tables turn you go ahead and hide

**You:** Mhm... I see motherfucker

**You:** Well, we're waiting

**You:** well I am

**You:** me and my damn cats.

**You:** Come on, before you make me fall the fuck to sleep

**Stranger:** chill ur balls

**You:** Well come the hell on bitch

**You:** it's like I'm asking you to do pie times pie times 32 divided by two

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Five Second Rant Time~

Since Greece was too hard, I'm making a play. But this shit that I hate to see on facebook, and that is : People always saying how much they love their boyfriend/girlfriend and all that stupid shit. They post pictures of themselves together all the time, and all that shit. Now I know what you're probably thinking, and that would be " Oh, she's just jealous because she's single." And I am here to correct you, I am not. I do have a boyfriend, but I wouldn't post crap about our relationship 24 fucking 7 like some stupid bitches on facebook. I mean, it's blowing up my damn news feeds.

I'm sorry about my damn rants, I'm just in a bad mood now because everyone is pissing me off tonight. Even my fucking cat .-. Pray for Ollie the cat. ** Names after my obsession over 2p! England**

But, enjoy this play. Here are the warnings!

Warning! This contains strong language, sexual themes, mention of masturbation, mention of molestation, hermaphrodites, drugs, and old men. All because of my pissy ass mood c:

* * *

~The Wing Man Project~

Gilbert- *Reading in his head* I joined because of my increase of loneliness and my decrease of getting ass* Sighs loudly* There is no one on here worth it! We need someone... someone...

Antonio- Bold!

Francis- Brave!

Gilbert- Willing to take one for the team!

Antonio- I didn't think it would be this hard to find a forth...

Francis- I know.. But, we all need to get back on your own laptops and keep looking. We need this. * Gets back on laptop, clicking on a profile. Reading in his head Smiles* Guys, we found our guy.

Gilbert- No way!

Francis- *shaking head, smirking* listen. * Starts reading* Well, I like neko role-play and masturbating. I joined this site to meet friends, but if someone is interested in me, I only date men and women.

Antonio- All the girls love bi guys!

Gilbert- SHUT UP! LET HIM FINISH!

Francis- *Still reading* I am 92 years old and I am 3'2 and 358 pounds. My brother, surprisingly, is much more attractive than I am, he is 75 years old but can pick up 30 year olds... Damn him. * Gilbert comes up and pushes Francis away from the laptop, continuing to read on*

Gilbert- *Reading* My brother frequently clears out my Swiss bank account to by crotch-less thongs that were worn by famous celebrities. I have to watch him ever since my mother died a while ago. He is very disruptive and goes to Victoria's Secret quite often, trying on all the thongs and then asks to be a live in-store model. He also goes to local SafeWays to dance on the conveyor belts then pole dances there as well. When they come to throw him out, he furiously grinds on them in till I come to pick him up. Oh, he is wild.

Antonio- * Stars reading* but enough about him, I am a professional chainsaw juggler downtown in my neighborhood. I work in front of the house of a hermaphrodite with aggressive lung cancer and a prostatic leg. I also need support getting me threw rehab. I am addicted to meth, coke, heroin, ecstasy, methamphetamine, benzodiazepines, and amphetamines. And I'm also a alcoholic. I was also molested by my mother when I was young. I relax when I hear police sirens because they tell me that they were coming to take her. And, I am also a Buddhist.

Francis- This guy, he's amazing.

Gilbert- He is. Contact him. Now.

Francis- *Clicks on the box, typing in a message.*

* * *

Antonio- What times he suppose to be here!? I cant wait!

Francis- Any minute now! I am too!

Gilbert- * Hears knock on the door* Oh! He's here! *Goes up to door, opening it* Hello! And you're Jeffrey?

Jeffrey- * Really deep voice, like a really bad smokers voice* Yes.

Gilbert- You are amazing. Come in!

Jeffrey- *Waddles in* So we're all going to the club? I love clubbing.

Francis- *Smiling* Why yes! And we wanted to know if you'd like to be our forth to our little group we have.

Jeffrey- Forth?

Antonio- Yes! Our new friend.

Jeffrey- Ok, that'll be nice.

Gilbert- Well, I'm Gilbert, that's Francis, and that's Antonio. Now, lets all go out and have a good time!

* * *

Jeffrey- Oh, this songs the shit.

Francis- Yes.. Yes it is. * Looks over and sees a really good looking girl.* Oh! Jeffrey!

Jeffrey- Yeah?

Francis- Can you be like, my wing man? That woman is beautiful! *Points to the girl.*

Jeffrey- Yeah, ok. * Waddles over to her* Hey.. * Pulls on the end of her dress.* HEY! * Tugs on the end of her dress.*

Girl- Ah! Oh, I'm sorry. Yes?

Jeffrey- Look, my main bitch over there, he's been eyeing you up from over there and he told me to tell you he will pull your hair, smash chairs, and break beds with you. * Looks up her dress* Well Daym... Girl, forget about him, come with me~

Girl-AH! Get away from me! * Runs away.*

Jeffrey- Well fuck you too motherfucking bitch. * Waddles back to Francis* Sorry, she said she's taken.

Francis- Aw... well, I guess I can see other girls. * Pouts out lip*

Antonio- Hey! Hey! Jeffrey! Can you hook me up with this one girl?!

Jeffrey- *Smiles* Yes.

Antonio- That one. With the mini dress on with red rhinestones at the top.

Jeffrey- *Waddles over there* Hey.

Girl- *Says under breath* Oh my... Hey.

Jeffrey- So, my buddy over there wanted to hook up with you, and I told him that wouldn't be hard, then he laughed, I laughed, we all laughed. So, I was wondering, would you hook up with him?

Girl- GO FUCK YOURSELF! * Walks away*

Jeffrey- Give me a Viagra and that'll happen.. Hahahaha! * Waddles back over* Sorry, she said she was a lesbian.

Antonio- Well damn, Ok.

Gilbert- JEFFREY CAN YOU GET ME WITH THAT FINE PEICE OF ASS OVER THERE?! *Points to another girl*

Jeffrey- Ok, *Waddles over there* Hello.

Girl-Oh... Um.. .hello.

Jeffrey- *Looks up* I like your thong.

Girl- *Gasp* Why are you looking up there?! Stop it you pervert!

Jeffrey- Hey, do you know where I could get any heroin or something? At rehab they took all of mine. You look like a deala.

Girl- you're such an ass! * Walks away*

Jeffrey- Not as good look'n as your ass. * Sucks on teeth. Waddles back over* She said she only dates shorties. She tried to hook up with me.

Gilbert- Well fuck her too.

Jeffrey- *Cell phone rings* Hello?

Random Person- Hey! You're Jeffrey right? Asher's brother? He's here grinding a unconscious bum! Come and get him please! We just kicked him out of Safeway and he found them!

Jeffrey- Oh, Asher... I'll be there soon. Bye * Hangs up* I have to go, my brother...

Francis- Yeah. We read about him. * Says angered*

Jeffrey- *Phone rings again, same people* What?

Random Person- It's not a bum! It's Amanda Bines, fresh from a car accident!

Jeffrey- Is she wearing a crotch-less thong?

Random Person- Hm.. Let me check. * Check, but Asher bites him* AH! Yes! AND YOUR BROTHER JUST BIT ME!

Jeffrey- SMACK HIM! THAT'S HIS NEW HABIT! Or just give him some ecstasy and he'll be entertained for awhile. *Hangs up* Bye guys! *Waddles out*

Gilbert- He was telling them all the wrong stuff... Wasn't he?

Antonio- Yup.

Francis- I guess it's harder to find a good wing man. Lets go to another club.

* * *

Jeffrey- *Unhooking the poles to his legs to help him reach the peddles when he drives* ASHER! DOWN!

Asher- No! This thong is a masterpiece!

Jeffrey- * Starts pulling Asher off* GET OFF RIGHT NOW! LOOK! THEY HAVE GASOLINE ON THEM FROM THE CAR ACCIDENT!

Asher- THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM SPECIAL! * Jeffrey pulling him off completely*

Jeffrey- NO! IT MAKES IT FUCKING DISGUSTING! NOW, GET IN THE FUCKING CAR OR SO HELP ME BUDDHA I WILL FUCK YOU UP SO MUCH THAT YOU'LL GO ALL THE WAY TO HELL. *Smacks Asher's ass, the thong in his hand* GIVE THAT BACK! * Asher throws thong back on Amanda's face* Now go! Go! Sorry, I should have made him have a babysitter * Waddled off with Asher, extreme swag bouncing off of him as he waddled.*

Random Person- 358 pounds of firry...


	32. I'm Not A Vampire

Hey guys! I like, died for a few weeks or so but I have like, risen from the dead. So, this is a play that Miranda thought would be cool to right. She's in the mood for like, fictional creatures. Today, it's vampires. And it's all like, inspired by some band.

Well, enjoy!

Felisk~

* * *

I'm Not A Vampire

Vlad- I'm not a damn vampire you dumbass! * Walking out of the house, slamming the door*

Arthur- *opens door, leaning out of it* Yes, yes you are! Accept who you are! The first step is acknowledging you have a problem!

Vlad- * Turning back around* I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM! I'm not a fucking vampire!

Arthur- Go to an AAA class!

Vlad- THAT'S FOR ALCOHOLICS! * Walking further away.*

Arthur- Then go to a B.I.H.A.P class! * Walking up to Vlad, grabbing his arm and dragging his back into his house* You're going.

Vlad- I'm not a vampire! No, I'm not going!

Arthur- YES YOU ARE! NOW STOP BEING A FUCKING BITCHY ASS BABY BRAT AND DO AS I SAY!

* * *

* Vlad sits in his chair, looking around at the circle of people. There was Ivan, Alfred, Feliciano, Antonio, Francis, and Kiku. Then one seat open for the person was helping everyone*

Arthur- Hello guys! We have a new member to B.I.H.A.P class. Everyone, give a good, warm hello to Vlad!

*Everyone*- Hello Vlad.

Arthur- Alright, now, since we have a new member, can everyone go around and say what their problems are?

Vlad- Question. What does B.I.H.A.P stand for? * crosses arms, angered.*

Arthur- Oh yes, it means 'Bitch, I has a problem.' Now, Alfred would you mind telling us your problem?

Alfred- Hi I'm Alfred. And my problem is I cant stop buying super hero capes.

Arthur- Ok, then well just go around the circle. Ivan, your turn.

Ivan- Hello I'm Ivan and my problem is I cant stop beating people with my friend cane.

Feliciano- Hi! I'm Feliciano and I addicted to pasta!

Antonio- Hey, I'm Antonio and I cant stop sending people pictures of my ass.

Francis- Hello I'm Francis and my problem is I cant stop wanting those pictures.

Kiku- Hello... My problem is I cant stop buying erotic manga's... * Hangs head in shame*

Arthur- Vlad... Your turn.

Vlad- I don't have a problem.

Arthur- Vlad's going to be a bitch today, sorry guys. But his problem is he's a vampire and wont accept it.

Vlad- I'm not a vampire!

Arthur- Yeah, whatever blood sucker. So, we are going to play a game. We're going to play trust fall. Everyone, get a partner and stand with them.

* Everyone gets a partner. Ivan and Alfred, Feliciano and Kiku and Francis and Antonio. Vlad had to be partnered with the teacher.*

Arthur- Ok, everyone knows how to play this so do it. * Opens arms for Vlad to fall into*

Vlad- *Falls back, getting caught by Arthur* Why are we playing this?!

Arthur- It lets them know they can trust each other, and to not be afraid of others. Also, it wastes time and I get paid by the hour. Ok! switch positions! * Stands in front of Vlad, falling back and he catches him* Ok, when you guys are done that, please sit back down and we're going to say how we got our problems.

* * *

Antonio- It started with just one picture... There was this site called ' RateDatAss' and I posted one picture and got a huge fan base... Then I started sending them to friends and it just went on from then..

Arthur- Mhm.. Mhm.. Mhm.. M'kay. That's a tragic story of how you became so vain about your ass... What would your mother say? What would Romano say?

Antonio- My mama... I don't know... Romano, he'd yell at me... like normal.

Arthur- Mhmm... Kiku, how did you get your problem?

Kiku- Oh... Well, when I was little I saw my older brother, Yao doing something... And I just stood there in the door way, and just watched! I just watched and I was mesmerized by the scene... But I never had enough guts to do it, so I read it. And I can't stop. It's just so... so captivating.

Arthur- Mhm... So, have you told your brother about your encounter of him having sexual intercourse with this woman?

Kiku- Woman? Woman? No, it wasn't a woman. It was a pillow. Like one of these love pillows.

Arthur- Oh... Well, have you told him about his sexual act with this pillow?

Kiku- No, but I do remember him trying to give me the pillow. I took it and gave it to my other brother, Young Soo.

Arthur- Oh my... Well, Vlad. Tell us your-

Vlad- I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!

Arthur- Ok, Ok ,Ok, but tell us why people think you're a vampire.

Vlad- * Hangs head thinking* Hmm... Well I do feel like one on occasion. I sleep all day, because I hate the sun.

Arthur- Yes, yes continue.

Vlad- My hands are always shaking, I always ache, and I only eat during the night... I can have anything with anyone... Hm... I have no self control... Dear God... I AM A VAMPIRE! * Face shocked. Arthur shaking his agreeing.*

Arthur- I know, I've told you. Tell me, when did you start acting like this?

Vlad- Well... I don't know.. This is such a shock to me!

Arthur- I know, it always is. But, you're at the first step admitting your problem. Now, everyone, we have a meeting Thursday we have a class! Don't forget to show up, Alfred * Cuts his eyes at him* Bye!

* * *

Vlad- Since I'm a vampire... I might as well suck blood. * Opens window, sees a sleeping body in the bed* Here goes nothing...* Whispers, bending down to neck, starting to breath on neck slightly. Victim opens eyes.*

Victim- AH! * Hits Vlad on the head with a metal pipe*

Vlad- IVAN?! YOU LIVE HERE?!

Ivan- YES! NOW WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!

Vlad- I'M A MOTHERFUCKING VAMPIRE! And hey... That pipe came in handy!

Ivan- *Picks up pipe, looking at it smiling* Yeah... Yeah, I guess it did.

Vlad- It's not really a problem. You just need to use it in the right circumstances.

Ivan- I guess you're right. Now I don't have to pump out 200 dollars a week for that Brit with an attitude.

* * *

Vlad- Are you sure this is his house?

Ivan- Yes. I've seen him go in here one time.

Vlad- Ok, ALFRED! ALFRED!

*Alfred, upstairs*

Alfred- Uh! There's a disturbance in the force... * Grabs nerf gun, aiming it down the steps.* Say good bye, bitches... Shots gun, it hitting Vlad in the nose.* HA HA! * pulls back around the corner, cape moving in the wind he made*

Vlad- Damn... He's upstairs. Let's go get him * Walks up the stairs, Ivan behind him*

Alfred- *Hiding in bedroom, nerf gun and pelt gun by his side.* Come and get me, motherfuckers.

Vlad- Alfred! Please come out. We have a surprise for you!

Ivan- Mhm! We'll give you carrots!

Alfred- * From the other room, they can only hear him threw the walls* GRAH! NO! THEY WEAKEN MY POWERS!

Vlad- OK! Well what strengthens your powers?

Alfred- The gooey cheesy goodness on top of the delectable German style meat, also called the hamburger. In between two delicate buns with no vegetables coming in between anything, just the amazing meat, cheese, and bread.

Ivan- I take it he wants a cheeseburger?

Vlad- That's what it sounds like... Well ok! Come out and we'll go to McDonalds!

Alfred- You dare think I will come out that easily?! Oh hell no bitch! Gotta come and find me!

Vlad- Come on, Alfred! I don't want to!

Alfred- Then you don't want me for whatever reason you came.

Ivan- We'll find you! Come on Vlad...

Vlad- * Rolls eyes* Fine. *Walks over and opens closet door, then in the other room hears a gun cock* Oh fuck... He's got a gun, Ivan!

Ivan- You have very little balls, don't you? Never show the enemy fear~ * opens door where they heard the gun cock.* Go in.

Vlad- Why me?!

Ivan- You're a vampire. You're immortal.

Vlad- * Sighs, walking in* Alf- OH FUCK!

Alfred- HAHAHAHAHA~ * shoots pellet gun repeatedly at Vlad in till he is out of pellets.*

Ivan- Vlad?... * Vlad on the floor holding his abdomen*

Alfred- * Stands on the bed in a cape, holding the pellet gun in his hand and the nerf gun strapped to his back* you found me. I'm hungry. Lets go.

Vlad- NOT SO FAST! It's ok to be a super hero occasionally, but you shouldn't do it all the time. Face it, that's taboo. Just don't go crazy with it.

Alfred- Ok..

* * *

Alfred- Yay! Big Mac.

Vlad- And this is his place?

Ivan- Yes.. I'm positive.

Vlad- How do you know where everyone lives?

Ivan- Because of reasons.. NOW LETS GO!

Alfred- I WANT TO GO TOO!

Vlad- Then come on!

Alfred- Ya~

* Everyone walks up to door, Ivan hitting it so it unlocks. They all walk in*

Person who owns the house- Oh that's hot.. Oh that's hot..

Alfred- I-is he doing the...?

Ivan- No... he is reading... The manga.

Vlad- Let's embarrass him... * Evil smile as he quietly walks up the steps.*

Kiku- Oooo! That is really hot! I bet that feels nice...

Vlad- *opens door focally* KIKU! WHAT ARE YOU READING!?

Kiku -AHHHHH! *Throws manga on the floor, Vlad goes over and picks it up.*

Vlad- * Face twisted* The mating habits of cougars? You like older women?!

Kiku- Don't... Judge me.. IT'S JUST A BOOK! I SWEAR!

Vlad- I can clearly see it's a book. But you shouldn't read these all the time. People will think you're some huge weird ass pervert. Got it?

Kiku- *Hangs head in shame* Yes... I'm sorry.

* * *

Vlad- And this is...

Ivan- Francis's house.

Vlad- Ok. Everyone, let's go. * Walks up to the door, opening it.*

Francis- Oooo! That's a good picture!

Antonio- Thanks. I didn't photo shop this one this time.

Vlad- FRANCIS!

Francis- W-W-Who is this?!

Vlad- Get your bitch as down here!

Antonio- HE'S BUSY RIGHT NOW!

Vlad- ANTONIO! COME DOWN HERE! I HAVE SOME NICE UNDERWEAR FOR YOU TO PUT ON AND MODEL!

Antonio- OH FUCK YESH! * Runs down the steps, shirtless and tight booty shorts on*

Ivan- * Grabs him by the arm* You're not leaving.

Antonio -FRANCIS! FRANCIS! HELP! HELP ME!

Francis- I'M COMING MY NICE ASS-ED FREIND! * Runs to the top of the stairs, looking down on them* HEY! LET HIM GO! HE MAKES 56 DOLLARS A HOUR ON THIS SITE! YOU'RE JUST MAKING HIM MORE MONEY WITH HIM NOT DOING ANYTHING!

Vlad- FRANCIS! YOU JUST WANT TO LOOK AT HIS ASS, CORRECT?

Francis- MAYBE, WHY DOES IT MATTER?!

Vlad- IT'S OK TO LOOK AT HIS ASS ONCE IN A WHILE, BUT NOT OBSESSIVELY! IT'S NOT HEALTHY!

Francis- I know... But how can I not?

Vlad- Well, you just need moderation. Too much of a good thing can easily be turned into a bad thing. And Antonio! I'm sure your mother would call you a slut! Showing your ass like that!

Antonio- I'M SORRY MAMA! * Eyes watering*

Kiku- C-C-can I go home?

Vlad- NO! YOU'LL JUST READ MORE PORN!

* * *

Vlad- Feliciano! Open up! * Banging on the door.*

Feliciano- It's open! * Voice really deep*

Francis- What the hell?... * Vlad opens the door*

Vlad- Feli-what...*Sees Feliciano in a blow up pool filled with cooked spaghetti noddle's, one girl to his left and another to his right, his arm wrapped over their shoulders.*

Feliciano- * Tilts his sunglasses* Yeah?

Vlad- What the hell are you doing?...

Feliciano- Ya know, chill'n with some bitches.

Ivan- Well... That's an interesting way to put it...

Francis- * tears in his eyes* Feli! I DID NOT RISE YOU LIKE THIS! WOMEN ARE NOT 'BITCHES' THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY GOD BLESSED YOU WITH.

Feliciano- They're my bitches.

Vlad- WELL GET YOUR BITCHES OUT OF HERE FOR THE NIGHT! WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU!

Feliciano- Well, bitches, you need to go home. * Girls get up from the pasta pool in their bikini, walking out of the door.* Speak.

Francis- * grabbing Feliciano by the neck* WHAT THE HELL?! HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR WOMEN?! CALLING THEM BITCHES!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Vlad- * Tapping on Francis back* Let me do this, please? * Francis letting go of Feliciano, giving him a stare* Look, it's ok to have a pasta party like this once in a while, but every day? That's just not cool. Try to fill your schedule with other things.

Feliciano- * taking sunglass off, throwing them in the pool* I know... I'm sorry..

Vlad- * smiles* Well it's fine.. And don't call girls bitches.

Alfred-* Mouth full of burger* YEAH!

* * *

Next Thursday, aka the next meeting

Vlad- WE DONT NEED YOU ANYMORE, ARTHUR!

Arthur- Oh really?

Alfred- YEAH! I HAVENT BOUGHT A CAPE IN 2 DAYS!

Kiku- I haven't read a dirty manga in a week!

Ivan- I haven't randomly hit someone with my stick since Tuesday!

Francis- I haven't seen any pictures of Antonio's ass in a week.

Antonio- I haven't taken a picture of it in a week!

Feliciano- I haven't had a pasta party in 3 days!

Vlad- And I , I haven't eaten in the night for a week.

Arthur- Well congrats everyone! I'm glad I helped you.

Ivan- YOU DIDNT HELP!* walks over to Vlad* IT WAS THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE!

Arthur- Well, he did my job. And he didn't charge you?

Alfred- IT'S ALL ABOUT MONEY HERE! IS IT?

Vlad- Oh well! I'm leaving! I don't need to be here anymore! And none of you guys do. Lets all leave!

Ivan- Come on guys! * Everyone leaves, leaving Arthur alone in the room*

Arthur- Oh well, they don't need to know about my problems. Right Flying Mint Bunny?


	33. Hurrican Survival Tips With Alfred

Ok, so you guys need to give me some chat request! I'm getting bored writing plays.

But this isn't a play, this is a survival guide to hurricanes.

Yeah, a bit delayed, but the season will come quicker than ever soon.

But some people in certain places probably wont understand this.

Living on the east coast of Maryland, we get hurricanes. We had Sandy and oh boy, no school for a week.

But this is Alfred's tips on surviving a hurricane!

Enjoy~

* * *

Hurricane Survival Tips For the Clueless- With Alfred!

Hey guys! So, hurricanes are not fun. They've caused a lot of bad things to happen to my country. Since it's not hurricane season yet, you should just take this advice and go to the store and buy it so you can be prepared.

**Step 1**- Go to the store last minute. THIS IS A TRADITION I TELL YOU. A TRADITION. You MUST push everything else aside and wait to go to a fucking Wal-Mart at least five minutes before the storm. It is almost certain that you will get into rage full fist fights with other customers and leave with the remains of what the early birds have left. Usually its crackers and carrots left behind. Trash your dreams of getting water. All the other bitches got it. You can't even get the Mio water shit because thy got that too. So you cant drink that from the bottle. IF YOU DO FIND MIO you can use it to flavor your toilet water. You also gotta get bleach. I have no fucking idea why, but this is also a tradition. If you don't get bleach it's like you're not going to McDonalds when you drive by one. You just gotta fucking do it or you'll die

**Step 2- **Once you've gotten your few supplies from Wal-Mart, go home and call some guy who has hurricane proof windows. I don't even fucking know if it works. But you only have thirty seconds before the storm starts, so you're running out of fucks to give and need to hurry. This is how you will carry out a conversation with the dude on the phone:

_You- Hey, I really need some hurricane proof windows now!_

_Dude- Oh really? They're like a lot of money. But ok. We'll have them to you in 30 to 40 business days. _

_You- BUT I NEED THEM NOW!_

_Dude- I'm sorry. Maybe you shouldn't have been such a procrastinating bitch and done it 30 or 40 business days ago. _

_You- ...But it's my windows and I need them now. _

_Dude- Good day. * Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* _

And now you have no hurricane proof windows. What to do now? NOT TO WORRY!

We can make our own! The ghetto style!

It's simple, quick and easy. AND you can leave them up all year for reuse when the next hurricane comes!

First you get duck tape. Then, you get two long piece of duck tape. Then you put one of the pieces on the window, then the other and make it look like an 'X'. Fuck only knows if it really works, but damn it, it's hard to peel it off so there's really no choice if you take it off or not. If you try, you better get new windows. Why not the expensive hurricane proof windows?

**Step 3**- Right now it's been 15 minutes into the hurricane. You where trying the ghetto style hurricane windows and got the tape stuck in your hair and half of your hair is off of your head. But you need to get all of your outside furniture safely somewhere where it wont get fucked up.

People in Florida sink their furniture in their pools. So, lets start with that. If you don't have a pool, install on right fucking now so you can do this. Once you're done that, put all of your furniture in there and let it sink.

But if you wont do that, then put it in your house for all I care. But make sure everything is safe. Hurricanes can make anything left outside deadly when going air born. Once something in a hurricane goes air born, don't expect to see it again. So if your grandma is visiting and you don't like her, leave her outside. She'll be with Matthew who will comfort her.

**Step 4**- Ride out the storm. Just sit inside, covered up in a blanket, sitting in your chair with your Mio that you fought for, and a pack of expired crackers by your side. Right now you're watching T.V and see a weather man outside, near the ocean. The waves are crashing up on the rocks, the wind is blowing. And he's saying "STAY AWAY FROM THE OCEAN"

And I mean, what the fuck. You're by the ocean! PRACTISE WHAT YOU PREACH BITCH. But anyway, you're fine watching trees collapse, wind blow, and seeing your grandma outside being tangled with the wind.

* Other Important Info*

* You need to address the hurricane politely and properly or it will bitch slap you. (Ex- Ms. Sandy, Mr. Isaac... etc.)

*NEVER go to the store too early or you'll get all the good stuff. We cant have that.

* Make sure you carry around a knife. Make sure you tie it around your leg ( No specific reason, just looks badass)

* Make sure you bring your animals in or Grandma will run into them.

* ALWAYS make sure you have bleach! Over stock on it! ( I will be checking, you'll upset your country...)

* * *

There's Alfred's survival tips for hurricanes. Be sure to follow!

And I will be doing survival tips on this, and chat requests.

Request away!


	34. Internet Survival Guide With Eduard

Before anything else, here is an amazing gif of Ludwig and Gilbert.

image/38184364718

funny shit.

But today, I thought of one that might make the cut for my awesome readers.

I liked it, and I got to stay home from school today.

Fuck school, I have hetalia & the internet. I learned something from the internet yesterday.

Did you know that male giraffes hit a female giraffe in her stomach, right near her bladder so she pees herself. THEN they drink it to see if she's ovulating.

Never again will I look at a giraffe the same way ever again C:

And for the survival request things I'm getting to them. I haven't updated one story in 2 weeks! So not like me!

* * *

Internet Survivals Tips

~With Eduard

The internet, a vas land filled to the rim with fat people acting like models, pedophiles acting like fourteen year olds, and so much more. But how will you react to some of these discoveries? Lets find away to avoid these devastating disasters that could happen while searching the internet.

Today, we will address the dangers of online communication.

This is what I had gotten when I went onto a famous chat site called Omegle:

_You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!_

_**You:** Hello_

_**Stranger:** m here_

_**You:** ok?_

_**Stranger:** m or f_

_**You:** why would you like to know?_

_**Stranger:** coz im horny_

_**You:** and what could I provide for you to get rid of your horniness_

_**Stranger:** mmmm_

_**Stranger:** a dirty chat_

_**Stranger:** or a skype vid call_

_**You:** ok. Well, I wont give you anything._

_**You:** Good day_

Now, to protect yourself and make them fully aware that you do not wish to have 'sexual' relations with them, this is how you should respond to them with each question. I will give examples to the question, and what should be said.

_Would you like to cyber?_

**Fuck no! **

_Internet sex is safer than using a condom in sex! I promise, let's cyber._

**I'm pop a cap up your ass. **

_I'm horny._

**That's fucking fantastic shit-cicle. **

_Would you like to participate in internet sexual intercourse? _

**I got the aids .-. **

_ASL? I'd like to see pussy/dick soon. _

**Damn it! I lost my pussy/dick from the monkey attack of 1996. **

These are ways to protect yourself, people!

These methods have been tested on one individual and they've worked 100% of the time. Protect yourselves.

**Scenario 2-** So you're browsing facebook and notice that your little notification thing popped up and said Shizzle Dick wants to add you as a friend. Do you immediately add him or check out his facebook profile?

The answer is do intense research on this person. No, it's not stalking, it's called safety.

So you clicked on his wall and saw his job occupation. What does it say? It says that he is a male dominatrix. But then underneath that it says that it's only on the weekends, which makes everything better. So check that off on the list.

You see his profile picture and it's a picture of him with two friends with little bags of white powder in them. You click on it and see that the caption says 'We got baby powder in bags! ( But no guys, it's really cocaine. We're making it on the week days when I'm not doing my weekend job. 20 bucks an ounce.)'

That seems to check out too, it's obviously a joke. Look at the comments on the photo, joking around that they want 2 ounces. They all must be good friends.

But now, look at his friends. Do they look like good people? And do you have any friends in common with him? No. No you don't. But you see his friends look like good people. I mean look at that one guy with a penis shape on his forehead. Nothing to worry about. Since everything checks out, you add him.

Then, two weeks later he comes to pay you a visit with his two friends from his profile picture! How nice of them to be so kind.

**Scenario 3- **Pornography is very popular on the internet. In fact, 30% of all computer downloads are for porn. Amazing, right?! And I am responsible for 15% of that, I must confess. But porn sites are quite popular as well. 12% of internet sites are for porn.

But if you stumble open one of these sites, don't be fearful! You can click the 'X' button anytime. But, if you have a porn related email and wont let you 'x' out, then read on.

Lets say you got an email from a suspicious site that didn't seem to fall into the spam box. You click on it and hear erotic tones echoing from it. Your face falls as a red tint hits your cheeks. Yup, you're experiencing porn.

You rush to click the 'x' button but it's not working! You look at how long it is and it's 35 minutes long of nothing but this!

Leave? Turn it on mute? You do none of this. You must not think of any of these first. You will watch it and cringe at the nasty parts, which is most of it.

But at about five minutes you've thrown up about three times and gagged about ten, so you decide to go hide in your closet.

There's hardly anyway to avoid porn related topics. They are everywhere, including here. As I, Eduard, is typing this, I'm listening to porn, occasionally switching the screen to see it. It's nice, try it some time guys.

But really. Why wouldn't you want to watch it?!

These have been your guide on surviving internet porn!

By the way, here is a porno I made when I was in college.

watch?v=fPAW-GHMqQg

( Not porn, really)


	35. My 'death' is over, plus a little play

Miranda's death was slow and painful. She suffered from a sickness called ' procrastination'. It was too serious that her parents had her put down like a dog because of her grade she got on a test in Social Studies that didn't even count as socializing, nor studying. This class is too miss leading to her. She also died with frustration because of her procrastination that took over her Friday when something was due and she turned it in. It was so pathetic and unworthy to the teacher ( in social studies I may add) that she said, and I quote " Miranda, do you want to take this [Fucking shit] back so you [ can fail the fucking 8th grade so I can see your face more, take pictures of you and spit on them... or] turn this in late? Ten [bitch slaps and ten] points off." Miranda's last words were ' I can't procrastinate in high school next year. I will change.." Then her mother added in " That's what you said last year about 8th grade."

Toris~

* * *

Ok, not the story but I'm sorry for my death. Social Studies sucks where I am. It's so miss leading. Try to talk and my teacher says [insert naggy ass voice] " Miranda, stop talking. It's not social hour." I look at her like " YES IT FUCKING IS! THIS IS SOCIAL STUDIES!" Like, I'm STUDING people and their SOCIAL lives. Dumb bitch -_-

Anyway, enjoy this play I made. I owe you guys something for dying for 2 weeks~

* * *

Insert Cool Title Here Because the Creativity in this One was Being Thrown Up Out of Me on This One

* The song that Alfred sings is NOT MINE. It's on youtube but I changed it up a bit :3 Nor are the other's mine *

Yao- Rodrich, I kind of need a favor from you, is that ok?

Rodrich- Depends..

Yao- Well, the normal DJ for our dances said he can't make it this time. I was wondering if you could stay after the meeting and do it.

Rodrich- I don't know how to work one of those thingies.

Yao- All you do is look up a song in youtube and play it. We'll have it all hooked up so all you have to do is sit there and type it up.

Rodrich- If it's so easy, why don't you do it?

Yao - I need to be walking around, asserting my importance as the elder. I give them stupid looks to assert it.

Rodrich- *put's hand on his chin, looking at Yao as if agreeing* Indeed. Someone has to set them straight with the stupid looks. I respect you.

Yao- * Jolts chin up* I know, I can sense it. * Walks out of room.

Rodrich- That man.. He gave me goose bumps.

* * *

~The Dance~

Rodrich- *looks down at all the buttons* Umm... you said this would be easy.

Yao- I did? I'm sorry. It is, just ignore all these buttons and look at the computer screen and keyboard.

Rodrich- Ok... So, when does this dance start?

Yao- Now. * Sees all the other nations coming in* They'll request songs. Well, I'll go out and watch the little bastards come in. Bye~ * walks away*

Rodrich- *Thinking* Damn... What should I play first... How about some bitching Mozart?!" * plays Mozart's Symphony* Bitches love Mozart.

* All the nations look up at the ceiling with confused faces.*

Young Soo- WHAT IS DISS?

Gilbert- Dude... I think this is what they play at funerals...

Young Soo- I don't think so... I think they play this at spas...

Ludwig- They don't play this at strip clubs.

Young Soo- HOW DO YOU KNOW- DAZEE?!

Ludwig- IT'S JUST AN ASSUMPTION! * looks over and sees another boy * Oh look, it's Feli... * walks over to him*

Gilbert- He's been to a strip club. He snuck in while he was with Rome... Bitch didn't bring me.

* Switches over to a different area of the gym where they held the dance*

Alfred- DAMN! This shit's getting boring. Let's do karaoke!

Matthew- Do they even have karaoke?

Kiku- Of course they do. See, there's the machine.

Alfred- YOU GUYS BE MY BACKUP BITCHES!

Kiku- What?

Matthew- * Giggling* He means back up singers.

Kiku- * Alfred dragging Kiku and Matthew on stage* N-n-n-no! \

Alfred- TOO LATE! * Gives them all microphones* Rodrich! LOOK UP KARAOKE VERSION OF AMERICA FUCK YEAH!

Rodrich- IS THAT APPOPRIATE?! * Looks it up anyway, playing*

Alfred- *singing* America! Fuck yeah! Coming again to save the motherfucking day, yeah! America! Fuck yeah! Freedom is the only way, yeah! Terrorist, your game is threw! NOW IT'S TIME TO ANSWER TO AMERICA! FUCK YEAH! So lick my butt and suck on my balls! Whatca gonna do when we come for you now?!

Matthew- *Singing* It's the dream that we all share.. It's the hope for tomorrow~

Alfred- MCDONALDS! FUCK YEAH! WALMART! FUCK YEAH

Matthew- PORNO!

Alfred- FUCK YEAH!

Kiku- BASEBARR! ( sorry, I had to add the accent!)

Alfred- FUCK YEAH! BED BATH AND BEYOND!

Matthew- Fuck yeah?

Kiku- FUCK YEAH! ( remember... he likes baths?) FAKE TITS!

Matthew, Alfred, and Kiku- FUCK YEAH!

Rodrich- I'MA FUCK YEAH YOU GUYS OFF THE STAGE. THAT'S NOT SUITABLE. GET DOWN KNOW! * get's on stage and pushes them off.*

* Alfred doesn't want to get off the stage while Kiku and Matthew willingly got off. Rodrich picks him up but Alfred keeps grabbing the mic*

Alfred- B..b..but Disneyworld... fuck yeah.

Rodrich- COME ON!

Alfred- BUT CHRISTMAS!

Young Soo -BITCH, I MADE CHRISTMAS!

Tino- Oh hell no someone did NOT TAKE MEH SHIT!

Berwald- Calm your tittes. It's ok.

Rodrich- YOU DID NOT MAKE CHRISTMAS!

Ludwig- OH! RODRICH YOU ARE JUST AS BAD! YOU SAID BEETHOVEN BELONGS TO YOU EVEN THOUGH YOUR ASS KNOWS HE'S NOT AUSTRIAN.

Rodrich- * walks up to Ludwig, chest puffed out as he pushed Alfred on the stage.* OH? BITCH, YOU REALLY WANNA FUCKING GO THERE TONIGHT? YOU WANNA FUCK WITH ME TONIGHT? BITCH, I DONT THINK SO.

Ludwig- I WILL CRUSH YOU. * Feli comes up behind Ludwig and grabs his arm*

Feli- Stop!... Ludwig, you're scaring me!

Ludwig- GO SIT DOWN FELI! It will be settled here... * Pulls up arm sleeves* Bring it, fucker.

Rodrich- * Pulls arm sleeves up* Fucking bitch, you wont have the guts to hit your brother.

* Ludwig's eyes go big*

Ludwig- W-wait... What? YOU SAID WE'D NEVER DISCUSS IT AGIAN! I'MA FUCKING KILL YOU MAN! * punches Rodrich in the face, he falls to the ground. Everyone's going 'OOOOOOOHHHH*

Alfred- * Stands up and grabs mic* Oooohh... What a hit from Ludwig! What will Rodrich do about that?

Rodrich- You... You fucking hit me.

Ludwig- I don't bull shit. I do what I say.

Rodrich- * Stands up, wipes nose* Motherfucker, I am a musical genius. I did hold Beethoven. * Punches Ludwig in the face, surprisingly hard. Ludwig falls to the floor. Then he straddles Ludwig as he punches him more.*

Ivan- I've had enough of this! * Walks up to Rodrich and hits him in the head with his lead pipe*

Rodrich- * Falls on Ludwig*

Ivan- No fighting! I've came here to have fun with my friends, not watch them fight over some guy who died along time ago!

Alfred- IVAN! FUCK YEAH! HERE TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKING PARTY!

Rodrich- You're right... * Get's up* I'm sorry... * walks away*

~Later On~

Young Soo- Yum, Yum, yum I like food~

Tino- Hey, Young Soo.

Young Soo- Hm?

Tino- I like your culture... It'd be a shame... IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT! * Jumps into Young Soo's lap, stares into his eyes and bitch slaps him.* YOU ARE NOT TAKING CHRISTMAS AWAY FROM ME! NO,... NO.. NOT AGIAN!

Young Soo- I HELD THE FIRST CHRISTMAS! I HAD THE FIRST CIRCUMCISION! I HAD THE FIRST PARTY! AND I HAD THE FIRST PORNO!

Tino- NO * Slaps* YOU * Slaps* FUCKING * slaps* DIDNT!

~ Another place~

Berwald- * lifts head up* Hmm? I feel a disturbance in the force. * Walks around, looking for Tino*

Alfred- AND MY HIPS DONT LIE AND I'M STARTING TO FEEL IT'S RIGHT!

Matthew- Hey girl, I can see your body moving!

Kiku- And I didn't have the slightest idea!

Berwald- Not... here...

~ Back to Young Soo's problems~

Tino - YOU DIDNT CREATE EVERYTHING!

Young Soo -NOT EVERYTHING! I DONT MAKE SHIT! I DIDNT MAKE THAT STUPID IKEA SHIT LIKE YOUR SWEDISH BITCH DID!

Tino- * Gasps* oh... HELL no. Your fucking ass is going down.

* Door opens up, Berwald showing threw*

Young Soo- * Smiles evilly* Mmmm baby! Give me more! ( erotic moan here)

Tino- * slaps Young Soo* Shut the fuck up. BERWALD!

Berwald- Hmm? * Walks over to Tino, picks him up off of Young Soo's lap*

Tino- He's a bitch...

Berwald- I know, lets go. * walks out of room*

~ Dance floor~

Feli- Oh! What kind of dance is Gilbert and Francis doing? I wanna try! * Sees them grinding, front to front*

Elizabeth- A-a-a-ah... Nothing Feli! Let's go get some pasta!

Feli- Pasta~

Elizabeth- *Thinking* God... Its like human centipede... But crotch to crotch...

* * *

And for the person who wanted me to role-play as Latvia, it's coming momentarily. I promise :3

haven't had time for anything.

Want to eat a cookie? Ain't nobody got time for that.

But things should start to come back to normal soon. I'm sorry guys, but just remember that I will never die because I'm immortal.

That's right bitches c;


	36. That Last Beer

Well A WHOLE BOAT LOAD OF GOOD AND BAD SHITS GOING ON. Let's start with good:3 there's slightly more bad than good. Starting this on the right foot.

For high school, I will be in the anime club as an officer (friend got me position, no fucking idea what I'll be doing). But it'll be for 9th grade and 10th, for sure. Well that's all the good I's gots .-.

OH! And fixed my mom's laptop, that's it. So I can use this to update instead of my phone.

My laptop is broken, and if my spellings off, I sowwy. My laptop had spell check, and dear god, I loved it so T-T

And this is just random, but everyone thinks my boyfriend's Asian when he's actually Puerto Rican… He's going through an identity crisis and doesn't know what he is XD God bless him.

But here's a play, I'm coming up with. FOR THE LATVIA CHAT- I have hardly anytime and this is actually A LOT quicker, sorry, maybe when I get out of school it'll be SO much better.

And lastly, there's a thing on tumblr called " WTF fanfiction" The hetalia ones, XD

At the end, I'll show you my favorite one that I've found!

* * *

~ The Last Beer~

Gilbert- Bruder, how many beers are in the fridge?

Ludwig- * Opens fridge, turns around and looks at Gilbert with his mouth hanging low in shock* There's…. There's one..

Gilbert- * Mouth hanging* A-Are you serious?... How could this be?

Ludwig- Well… Drinking it may contribute to it…

Gilbert- * walks over to fridge* Oh, well I guess I'll drink it. * takes beer and is about to open it*

Ludwig- * Kicks Gilbert's arm, beer goes on the floor* Nein!

Gilbert- * Falls on the floor, holding arm* GRAH! MEIN ARM! YOU BITCH

Ludwig- I'm the only one who ever does anything! I deserve it more than you! * Is about to open it when Gilbert slaps it out of his hand*

Gilbert- I raised your bitch ass, you should show respect for your awesome elder by giving him the last beer.

Ludwig- OVER MY DEAD BODY! * Tackles Gilbert, holding wrists and looking him in the eye* ( I could EASILY turn this into yaoi….)

Gilbert- You… Will not get this last beer. * Deep breath* I will kill you for it.

Ludwig- You don't have the wrust for it…

Gilbert- Fine, I love you too much. I will eat your first born child.

Ludwig- Mein Gott. You monster. * Slaps across face* No one will hurt Feli and mien's baby child.

Gilbert- WHA!? FELI!?

Ludwig- FORGET WHAT I SAID. MY BEER! * reaches over and grabs beer but Gilbert hit hs arm, making it going back on the floor.* WHY!

Gilbert- It's mine! Do not touch my things with your dirty ass sasuage loving, bondage worshiping motherfucker!

Ludwig- YOU LIKE SAUSAGE TOO!

Gilbert- I ment the sausae between dem thighs * Rubs between thighs with the beer, laughing slightly* Still want it now? * Lick beers can*

Ludwig- * Looks over at table, sees bowel with furit in in it. He dumps all of it on the table, flip bowl over and puts it on as a hat* Bring it, bitch.

Gilbert- I show no mercy.

Ludwig- No mercy? That's my rule. * Walks up to Gilbert, chest to chest.*

Gilbert- * Looking up* Damn right. Now, I have a perfect way to work this out… Do you understand?

Ludwig- Yes…

Gilbert- We will play a game, are you ready for the game?

Ludwig- Yes…

Gilbert- Follow these simple instructions… Go under my bed, grab the first box you see… Bring it down here without damaging anything… If you do, your life will be in grave danger…

~ Ludwig does what he's told~

Ludwig- S-Sorry? The game sorry?!

Gilbert- YES! DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT MY AWESOME GAME!? BITCH YOU GOTTA PROBLEM? TAKE IT UP WITH MY FIVE METERS!

Ludwig- SHUT UP! I'm just here for her… Beerbra

Gilbert- Beautiful woman, knows how to give good head.

Ludwig- * Looks at him disgusted* Let's just play the game. * Flops on floor, setting up the game*

~ Game's set up~

Gilbert- I CALL GREEN!

Ludwig- * Rests hand on forehead* Fine… go first.

Gilbert- OH HELL YESH! * Takes card* Skip a turn?... * pouts bottom lip out*

Ludwig- * Cocky smirk, looking at Gilbert as he takes a card. Looks at it, then waves it in front of Gilbert* Oooh look who got move one~

Gilbert- * Puts up the gilbird* Fuck you. * Ludwig moves the spot of one of his little blue pieces*

Ludwig- Your turn.

Gilbert- BITCH I KNOW! * Snatches card from the pile* God. * Looks at card* Two spaces.. OK! * Moves one piece two spaces* Awesome!

Ludwig- Oooh! I got move 5. Beat that motherfucker.

~ Skip 20 minutes later~

Ludwig- I only need one more space…. Then… It's all mine. * Whispers in Gilbert's ear, making his red eyes go wide with horror as a cold sweat ran down his neck*

Gilbert- I-I-I'll make sure that never happens!

Ludwig- Oh look! It happened. One. More. Space. * Moves last piece into the home thingy. Goes back up to Gilbert's ear, whispering slowly* Sorry…

Gilbert- NOOOO! * flips board* NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! AND IT'S NOT SORRY! * Tackles Ludwig*

Ludwig- THAT'S NOT FAIR!

Gilbert- LIFES NOT FAIR! Let's play sorry again, but this time, we're the pieces.

Ludwig- You is tripping.

Gilbert- Let's just run into each other… Like the stupid little bitches we call game pieces, even though their satins little helpers….

Ludwig- * Grabs bowl again* Bring it! * Runs into Gilbert knocking him down*

Gilbert- *Getting back up* NO! * Rushes into Ludwig, knocking him down* MY BAD!

*Fight continues into the kitchen where the last beer is*

Ludwig- YOU'LL NEVER WIN!

Gilbert- I SO WILL! THAT BEER IS MI-! * Slips on beer, rolls underneath him, he falls down in slowmo*

Ludwig- (pretend it's in slowmo… Please…) * opens beer, laughing like an evil villain*

Gilbert- ( Slowmo…. Please) Noooo…! My beerbra! * Falls on the floor with an 'ompf'

Ludwig- ( normal now) * Takes sip* Ew… It's flat…

* * *

Here's my favorie that I found on wtffanficion

Enjoy~

"'My turn! It's my turn!' Italy yelled happily, ripping off all his clothes and whipping out his penis, which was actually a bunch of wet pasta noodles curled around each other to create a penis.

'Wait, ITALY, WHAT THE –ARRGH!' But Germany was cut short when Italy's (penis?) slammed into his ass hole.

'OH DOISU YOU'RE SO GOOD!' Italy screamed before he came tomato sauce into his ass, he came so hard it went though Germanys whole body and came out of his mouth.

'OH SHIT THAT TASTES GOOD!' Germany commented, wondering how it is even physically possible to cum that hard or to cum tomato sauce."


	37. Gilbert's new show

I'm depressed today:[ like, it's crazy. I was all happy, happy then I just went downhill. Depression hurts… Hetalia can help~

I'm also magically fucking banned from omegle, doesn't matter if I haven't been on there for a month.

Damn it today was awesome, then… Blah :/

Today is a tosh.0 inspired thing. I might do this every Friday since it was really fun to make.

Tell me whatca think~

*Inappropriate…. Always means fun c;

* * *

Gilbert- Welcome to the first episode ( Reading?) of "Beilschmidt on Friday's"! Today's special guest will be someone who has not driven by a single McDonald's without giving a dime, GIVE IT UP FOR ALFRED F. JOANS!... When he comes out here. But before we do that, we're going to pass it off to Elizabeth so she can discuss her problem she has with the world… I mean, she's a girl, there's always something going on. ELIZABETH?!

Elizabeth- Thanks Gilbert… What really pisses me off is when guys are in the gym and are over working their selves. I remember being in school in P.E and then I saw the boys going FUCKING CRAZY and like, super competitive. I'm just like 'IT'S P.E, NOT THE FUCKING OLYMPICS." But I'm completive too… Back to Gilbert.

Gilbert-…. Nice Elizabeth… Nice. Well, now we'll go in the Pity Corner! Who's in our corner today?! NONE OTHER THEN ARTHUR KIRKLAND! He has been diagnosed with blue balls. I guess in his pirate days, Polly wouldn't finish his cracker.

Elizabeth- That's disgusting.

Gilbert- Well you're probably Polly you slut.

Elizabeth- What?

Gilbert- Nothing… Anyway, we have exclusive evidence from our secret spy, we will not reveal his full name, but he shall be called " Red Roses". Red Roses, your turn to speak!

Red Roses- Well, I got zis information vhen I saw him leaving ze doctor's office with a bulge down zere…. Vell, I zhink it was ze doctors… looked a lot like a dressing room in here… I don't know! He has blue balls, ok!?

Gilbert- Thank you Red Roses for possibly getting us sued for libel! But we'll see if we can get him or someone from his flock of bitches to talk about the rumor!

Red Roses- Any zime baby c;

Gilbert- So how big was his balls?

Red Roses- I don't know, I didn't see zhem! But zhey did seem to be quite large… Would you like me to find out how big zhey are?

Gilbert- Yes, that'd be much appreciated.

Red Roses- You got it! Ohonhonhonhon~

Elizabeth- Why the fuck would you want to know how big they really are?

Gilbert- Bitch! You need to watch your fucking dirty ass mouth! All I've heard was the fucking f-bomb fall from your fucking mouth!

Elizabeth- Gilbert, just stop, just stop now. Just get Alfred out here.. I don't know why I agreed to doing this with you.

Gilbert- I will bitch… God damn, always on my case. EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR THE AWESOME ALFRED F. JOANS! * Random clapping*

Alfred- * Walking on to stage, sitting next to Gilbert who's across the table*

Gilbert- Hello Alfred!

Alfred- Hey!

Gilbert- I will be asking you just normal questions for interviews.

Alfred- Bring it!

Gilbert- Ah ok. So, what would you consider your relationship with Arthur?

Alfred-Hmmm…. I don't know, friends with benefits?

Gilbert- Hmhm… Kesesesesese~ Beautiful, beautiful indeed. Did you hear he had blue balls?

Alfred- Oh my… That's a lie… It's a lie…

Gilbert- Oh.. hang on * Takes out walkie-talkie* Red Roses! Abort! Abort mission!

Red Roses- But why? I'm right here! Oh my…. So… big…

Gilbert- His balls? He really does have blue balls?!

Red Roses- No… It's something else! Ah~ beautiful!

Gilbert- * throws walkie-talkie under table* Well ok. Alfred, when did you realize you wanted to become a country?

Alfred- Ok, dude, it's a long as story but I will summarize it in three words :To get bitches.

Gilbert- Good e'nuff. Understandable. Well, Alfred, it's late and Gilbird needs to be feed, because he finishes off all of his crackers.

Alfred- Well ok, good night bitches! * walks off stage, clapping and cheering*

Gilbert- Alright guys! Say goodnight to Elizabeth, Red Roses, Alfred, and of course, your awesome host, GILBERT! * clapping a cheering, Elizabeth comes up to the screen*

Elizabeth- Who would you like to see on the show? What would you ask them!? See if yours gets picked!

* * *

Put in who you want Gilbert to interview and make sure you have a few questions for them to ask. I'll randomly pick one, like write them down and pick one out, that kind of thing. Sorry if this one wasn't the best, I'm tired and it's late. Good bye3


	38. Latvia!

EVERYONE, there is a chat! holy mother of god, look at this thing... that hasnt been done in forever! This is Latvia, so enjoy~

* * *

WARNING! Sexual stuff

* * *

You- H-h-hello…

Stranger- Lets have sum funnnn

You-… Like?...

Stranger- I will touch you in erotic ways.

Stranger- I will enjoy feeling your chest on my face.

You- WAT .-. MAN, YOU GONNA MAKE ME CRY.

Stranger- Why?

You- I've never been touched in such a fashion…

Stranger- In a sexual way?...

You- No… I DON'T EVEN NOW WHAT SEXUAL IS!

Stranger- HOW DAFUQ OLD IS YOU?!

You- 15….

Stranger-…. Well ok… Want to know was sexual is?

You- Yes….

Stranger- Sexual is touching someone you want to have sex with.

You- Sex?... what is this

Stranger- Dear god….

Stranger- Sex. Where two people become one

You- sounds like a horror movie….

Stranger- No! It feels great, I promise!

You- That's what they all say before they do something like that…

Stranger- When a man has sex, his penis become hard.

You- Penis?...

Stranger- Are you a male?

You- Yes?...

Stranger- Ok, you have one. Open up your pants, look inside, what do you see? A rode staring at you , about to poke you in the eye.

You- Not that big, but ok.

Stranger- And a female will get wet down there.

You- WHAT DOES THE FEMALE HAVE?!

Stranger- Vagina.

You- DO I HAVE ONE?! IS IT IN MY PANTS?! I'MA CHECK!

Stranger- DON'T LOOK BECAUSE YOU'LL GET DISAPOINTED! YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!

You- Why…?

Stranger- Because, you don't. Look it up on google.

You- Ok….

You- meh eyes .-.

Stranger- Beautiful, correct?

You- Tell me more about this terrifying activity known as sex.

Stranger- You didn't answer my question….

You- JUST TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS DAILY ACTIVITY

Stranger- It's not daily for some, but it is for me.

You- May I borrow them so I can take part in this activity? Or can we do it together? Can we invite more people to take part in the scary activity?

Stranger-…. Yes

You- Where are you? I will meet you at a nearby gas station.

Stranger- hang on. I still want to inform you on sex.

Stranger- There's many diseases that are from sex.

You- From not having enough?

You- I think I have that.

Stranger- No, it's from having too much sex with a dirty person

Stranger- And sex also can cause babies.

You- BABIES?!

You- BABIES!?

You- I WANT BABIES. I WANT TO CAUSE BABIES. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I CAUSE BABIES!?

Stranger-…. You get babies.

You- OH DEAR GOD I HOPE I DON'T START RANDOMLY CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS ACTIVITY. THAT WOULD BE BAD. I DON'T WANT TO STOP SUCH A THING.

You- BUT HOW WILL I KNOW THAT I'M SEXING PEOPLE RIGHT!?

You- TELL ME

Stranger- GO GOOGLE PORN.

You- PORN!?

You- OK! I WILL. WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!

Stranger- I don't want to give any spoilers.

You- Ohhh…. Ok! Makes sense.

You- You… you smart ;3

You-….. SO I MUST SLAP MY PENIS ON THEIR FACE?!

You- THIS LOOKS INTERESTING

Stranger- it's not a requirement, but some people like that. Are you still watching?

You- YES! He's sticking something in her tittytittybangbang. SHES FLIPPING OUT

Stranger- WOMEN LIKE THINGS IN THEIR TITTYTITTYBANGBANG'S

You- WELL I CAN TELL. WHAT IF I PUT SOMETHING IN MY TITTYTITTYBANGBANG!?

You- WOULD IT FEEL NICE?!

Stranger- WELL NOT IN YOUR REALLY TITTYTITTYBANGBANG, WHICH IS YOUR PENIS. YOUR BACK DOOR… WE WILL CALL TITTYTITTYBACKDOOR, IT MIGHT FOR SOME GUYS.

You-…. OK! I WILL LOOK STUFF UP TO PUT IN THE TITTYTITTYBACKDOOR.

Stranger- OK! BUT IT FEELS BETTER PUTTING THE REALLY TITTYTITTYBANGBANG IN SOMETHING.

You- LET ME EXPERIMENT.

Stranger- Ok… Are you ready to enter the sex word?

You – YES! I JUST HOPE I'M NOT TOO SCARED OR THAT I CRY.

Stranger- Ok! You've had sex for the first time, what do you do!?

You- CRY IN THE CORNER!

Stranger- NOPE! You have aids, and die.


	39. Alfreds Daycare

my life has officially stopped. My moms computer has magically broken. Like, the backspace key is all fucked up, so it wants to fuck up the whole computer too. With out the computer,MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING.

so now I'm on my phone, and it keeps telling me 'the' is spelled wrong. DAMN YOU WINDOWS EIGHT PHONE. I mean it doesn't even have iheart radio... Only Pandora. I try to look up ' you've seen the butcher ' and it plays daddy by korn. And I've had Pandora forever and it won't play the best tool song ever, ' hooker with a penis' I shit you not. But it does play a lot of tool and alice in chains, so I good... I guess

* * *

anyway, enjoy this play that is inspired by my mother

Alfreds Daycare

Alfred- HELLO! You may leave your child with me, forever! well in till 5:30 comes around.

Gilbert - well this is little luddys first day, remember , his belly is very sensitive. If he gets fussy, here's his 6 pack and his bottle.

Alfred-... A six pack of Budweiser?

Gilbert- Yes... Is there a problem? Does he have to share?

Alfred- No, I guess its ok. * Gilbert passes Ludwig to Alfred.*

Gilbert- byeee luddy, I love youuu. * walks away*

Alfred - *baby voice * lets go put these in the fridge. I want you to have a cold one~

*knock on the door*

Alfred- ok, you stay right here* sets on floor* let me go get that. * walks to door, opening it up.* Hello! You must be Peter!

Arthur- yeah, here's the little bastard. He's a bitchy son of a bitch so be careful. He thinks he's the shit, and he likes playing with others so I guess it all work out * put Peter in alfreds hands* I need to go, I'm late for the contest.

peter- sup, bitch.

Alfred- *looking down at peter with a smile* Not nice language, but I can deal with it. * sets Peter down as he runs off to the play room.*

Yao- hai? I have brought mine! kiku, come on! * holds kikus hand, he sucking his thumb.* he's really shy, and crys a lot when I'm not with him. I'm sorry, he just loves me a lot-aru.

Alfred- Its fine! He'll fit in here, I'm sure of it!

* time skip to where all the kids are here*

Ludwig - *crying*

Alfred- I guess someone needs their six pack! *baby voice, walking over to the fridge with his bottle, taking a beer and pouring it into the bottle. Gives it to him* There you go!

romano- Fucking bitch, * SMACK* fucking bitch* smack* CUNT *Smack*

feli- AHHH! STOP!

Alfred- * runs in* Hey! Dont hit him in the face with that, romano! What if I told your daddy you were doing that!?

romano- *takes binky out* they'd throw me a motherfucking parade.

Alfred-... Ok! Time out! We don't hit people or say things like that, dude. * picks him up, taking him to the timeout chair. Romanos kicking and screaming*.

romano- * sitting in the chair, crying* I will fuck you up bitch! I will go back in time and make sure you were aborted, damit I want my fucking bitchy as daddy! DADDY! DADDY! * crying even harder*

Alfred- romano! keep talking the longer you sit there!

Romano- FUCK Y-Y-YOU!

Alfred- *sighs loudly, kiku tugs on Alfred shirt* hey buddy, what's wrong?

kiku- I... I had an accident... * teary eyed*

Alfred- Its ok man, we all have them once in a while. Lets go clean you up.

Kiku- ok.. * goes to the bathroom with alfred* I don't want you to see though.

Alfred- but I need to clean you up. I kind of have to see. What's wrong? I have the same thing too. Don't be shy.

Kiku- o-ok... * rips pants off.*

Alfred- someone's egar. *cleans him up*

Kiku- ah! GO AWAY! DONT LOOK AT ME! * about to cry*

Alfred- * looks behind him to see Ludwig with his beer in his bottle, sipping away* Its just little baby luddy. He's good, dude. you're all done! Go play, I'll be making lunch soon. * Kiku running in the play room*

Feli- Mr. Alfred! ROMANO GOT UP!

Romano- FUCK DA POLICE

Alfred- ROMANO SIT BACK DOWN, OR YOU'LL GET NO TOMATOES WITH LUNCH.

Peter- KIKU! KIKUS CRYING!

Kiku- LEAVE ME ALONE!

ludwig- *crying*

Alfred- no more Ludwig! You'll get sick if you have another one, you only have one left.

Ludwig - *cries even harder, pretty much screaming. *

Feli- Hey guys, lets all have a screaming contest! * starts screaming*

* everyone started screaming, but Ludwig and KIKU are the only ones truely crying. Romano starts screming from the timeout chair, Peter from the corner of the room, feli from the middle, and Matthew sits there quietly.*

Alfred- EVERYONE STOP SCREAMING. ROMANO, GET TO THE TABLE, LUNCH IS READY. EVERYONE, SIT AT THE TABLE.

* everyone eating burgers and French fries, ramono with extra tomatoes. Everyones smacking lips*

Alfred - stop snacking, please.

Romano- * smacks even worse* diss better?

Feli- No... Its even worse.

Matthew- May I have some more milk, please? *Alfred gets up, getting Matthew more milk.*

Romano- * sets a tomato on Alfred chair before he can sit down*

Alfred- * sits down*... What is this...? * cocks leg up, taking tomato out from underneath him* Who?...

Peter- *points to Romano.* him! Him! Got him?!

Alfred- ROMANO! I'm talking with your daddy when he comes to get you.

Ludwig- *cries* mo'! mo'! Mo' sausage! Mo' num num juice.

Alfred- gets him more burger meat that he calls sausage, and beer to put in his bottle*

* after lunch*

Alfred- ok! Everyone lay down, its nap time. * takes Ludwig in the other room, putting him in the play pins shutting the door on his way out as he hears his blood curtiling screams*

Alfred- *Romano standing on the mat, staring at him, pointing at alfred* Lay down Romano, when you wake up we'll go outside.

Romano- Fuck da police. * still pointing at alfred*

Alfred- dont say that, and lay down please.

Romano- * still pointing but sits down* Fuck. Da. Police.

Alfred- Well goodnight guys, tale good naps so we can go outside!

* everyones sleeping but Romano*

Romano- Ass and titties. Ass and titties. Fuck da police. Ass, ass, ass, ass now make the moutherfucker-

Alfred- Romano, stop it now!

Romano- My chick bad, my chick good. My chick does stuff your chick wish she could.

Alfred- STOP IT NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE EVERYONE UP

*everyone wakes up*

Alfred- fuck... Ok! Lets go out

* outside, Ludwig in a baby swing*

Kiku- hey..want to play with me?

Matthew- yeah! * sits on the ground* what do you want to play?

kiku- *sits on the ground with Matthew* I found these two little cars, lets play with these. * passes car to matthew*

~ lets see what romano's up to~

Romano- bottoms up, bottoms up. Throw your hands up.

Peter- Romano! Why are you over there rapping?!

Romano- BECAUSE I WANNA BE A RAPPER. THAT'S WHY BITCH

Peter- why?

Romano- 2 CHAINZ

Peter... * walks away* ok...

Alfred- ROMANO! YOUR DADDYS HERE!

Antonio- hello! How was he?

Alfred- he was really bad, actually. He cussed like a sailor, kept bulling others, and wouldn't take a nap.

Antonio- Oh... Did he now.. ROMANO! NO TOMATOES TONIGHT!

Romano- NO! NO FUCKING TOMATOES FOR YO ASS EITHER! *throws toy car at him, missing him and landing in the drive way* FUCK DA POLICE, 2 CHAINZ FO' LIFE

Antonio- I'm really sorry, I'll talk to , CONE ON!

Ludwig- 2 chainz? 2 chainz! * he learned new words!* 2 chainz! Fuck da police! 2 chainz!

Alfred- no luddy! Dont say that! * hands him his bottle*

Peter- MY CAR!

Kiku- NOOOO! ITSY CAR! * crying* THEY'RE MINE

Matthew- Hey! get off of his car!

Peter- No! Its mine! I deserve it! * pulls it away from KIKU, making him fall in the dirt, crying harder*

kiku- my car! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH * crying*

Alfred- give him his car back Peter!

Peter- NO! FUCK DA POLICE * runs around the yard with the car, Alfred chasing after him*

Ludwig- * throwing his bottle on the ground, bouncing in the swing watching them run around* * laughing* 2 chainz! 2 chainz! Fuck da police! Mo' num num!

Alfred- GIVE HIM THE CAR! OH LOOK, YOUR DADDY'S HERE! * stops running* hello Arthur!

Arthur- * only wearing a shirt around his lower half, black* where's the little shit?

Alfred- right here. * Peter walking to the car, getting in*

Arthur- see you tomorrow. * drives away*

* everyones gone, Alfred in his house relaxing*

alfred- god this sucks... I'll go to prostatution.


	40. Grumpy England

Since I ran out of chat request, I shall do this. I'll just come up with stuff. Today will be Grumpy!England.

Enjoy~

* * *

You- Go fuck a monkey.

Stranger- Sorry, I've fucked to many monkeys for the day. Kinda tired.

You- You're probably one of those hood booger bitches that I hate.

You- I almost ran over two birds having sex in the middle of the street.

You- Damn kids these days.

Stranger- But they birds…. Not children.

You- The children put fucking ecstasy in their drinking water.

You- Hood booger sons of bitches.

Stranger- Your anger… it makes me curious.

Stranger- It's at a alarming rate.

You- You're probably one of those sons of bitches! Bitch, I wish I could fuck you up right now. But I'm too much of a gentleman to do so.

Stranger- Gentlemen?

Stranger- Bitch please.

You- I am certainly the finest gentleman there is. I have all the gentleman power in the world, you ass wipe.

Your conversation partner has disconnected

* * *

You- Is this where the fucking stripper contest is held?

Stranger- No, but this is where the best blow job contest is held.

You- I know just the fucker! My brother, Alfred. His blowjobs are amazing.

Stranger-… How u know?

You- He's given me one, dumb fuck. All brothers give brother blowjobs…. Right?

Stranger- No… No they do not…

You-oh… WE HAD A BETTER RELATIONSHIP!

Stranger-… I can tell… u nasty!

You- I get more blowjobs than you! And I'm good at them to, you motherfucking hood rat!

Stranger- Prove it to me. Let me meet u somewhere.

You- No, you probably have super gonorrhea that I learned about in health class.

You- Also you have crabs, herpes, and you're also addicted to crack cocaine.

You- What's wrong with you!?

Stranger- yup. U found my secrets.

You- YOU KISS YOUR MAMA WITH THAT HERPES INFESTED MOUTH?!

Stranger- With passion.

You-Well that's nice…

Your conversation partner has disconnected

Ok, sorry for this being so small (Hmh….) but I've been sick all day, and I want to go sleepy bye :3

Goodbye , I shall sleep tight.


	41. Grumpy England & Grumpy France

Today we'll have Grumpy!England part two, since you guys liked him so much. But today, he'll have one of his friends with us: Grumpy!Francis.

We should just call them old people. This will be eldertalia.

Anyway, I have an AWESOME, GILBERT APPROVED video to spread throughout the world… It will be at the end :3

Enjoy~

Stranger- Hey! Hey! Whatda say!?

You- I say shut the fuck up.

You- That's what I say.

Stranger- It's a song.

You- It's a dumb ass song you hood booger son of bitch.

Stranger- Well ok. What's up?

You- My weight, my stress, my friends penis.

Stranger-!? And whos the friend?

You- Francis, sitting right here. He's saying hi.

You- He actually said 'hello motherfucker'

You- Damn it, he's such a bitch.

Stranger- I want to touch you.

You- You better not get your greasy ass motherfucking fingers out of my motherfucking weave bitch.

Stranger- you've got a weave?

You- I BALD OK!? I got a pink one.

You- (This is francis at the moment) And how many my little pony dolls did it take to make that ratchet looking piece of shit on top of your ugly ass head?

Stranger- I like Francis :D

You- (F) SHUT THE FUCK UP SONNY!

Stranger- I'M SORRY PAPA!

You- (Not Francis anymore, it's Arthur) Papa? OH GOD THAT WHAT HE CALLED ME! *Cries*

You- (F) hey, hey its ok. LOOK WHAT YOU FUCKING DID, YOU CUNT. YOU GOT THAT PUSSY ON YOUR MIND, DON'T YOU?!

You- (A) PUSSY! PUSSY! HE GOT THAT PUSSY ON HIS MIND

Stranger- pussy? Where!?

You-(f) LOOK DOWN, 'CAUSE YOU GOT THE BIGGEST PUSSY AROUND. BITCH DO YOU KNOW WHY THIS OLD FUCKER IS CRYING!? HIS SON LEFT HIM.

You-(A) MY OWN FUCKING SON.

Stranger- Well that must suck…. Like I suck that pussy ;)

You-(F) you may have pussy on your mind, but that doesn't mean you get any!

You- (A) you putrid fucking cunt

Your conversational partner has disconnected

~ Number Two~

You-(A) I fucking hate this generation.

Stranger- The a? And you're the one that raised this generation ;3

You-(A) is to show whose talking, you bitch. There's two motherfuckers here tonight. And I didn't raise this generation, I raised the generation that raised your parents generation, that raised theres, and further back.

You- (F) Yeah bitch

Stranger-? YOU THAT OLD

You- (A) pussy.

You-(F) I think this is a girl…. She got pussy in between her thighs… maybe not in her mind…

You-(A) I think you're right , Francis.

Stranger- I have you know, I am a girl. And no, pussy is not in my mind, but in between my thighs.

You-(F) a lose one at that.

Stranger- I'm a virgin you dick!

You- (F) that's what they all say…

You- (A) Are you secretly a hooker with a penis?

Stranger- No! Y B SO MEAN 2 ME

You- (F) I once ran into a hooker with a penis.

You-(A) oh really?

You- (F) yeah… not the best night.

Stranger- Goodbye dicks!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

~Number 3~

You- (A) I can't go to the bathroom.

Stranger- Ok?... And the a?

You- 2 different people here

Stranger- Oh, ok. I am a doctor, tell me why you cant go to the bathroom.

You- (F) he got something stuck up there.

You-(A) you know, I actually think that may be the case.

Stranger- what have you inserted in your anus that might have gotten stuck in there?

You- (F) Dildos.

You-(A) NO! I think it's from the summer of 1982 when I decided to show off my skills…

Stranger- Wait. You haven't gone to the bathroom since then?

You- (A) no. But you shouldn't be getting one me about my health! Francis over here is still having sex at 67 with STDS!

Stranger- *Gasps* Well that isn't very healthy.

You-(F) don't judge me. Don't you judge me! ALL YOU GUYS JUST JELOUSE 'CAUSE I STILL GET ASS.

Stranger- It's not healthy to have sex at such an old age and with an STD.

You- (F) Fuck you bitch.

You- (A) you don't sound like our doctor we go to…

You- (F) Yeah! They encourage me to have sex, they even say my STD may go away if I give it to more people. They say I could drain it out so to say.

Stranger- Oh god…

You-(A) and they tell me that me not taking a shit in 20 years is due to my body transporting it to the ocean. They also say that my waste will held global warming.

You-(A) what school did you go to?...

You-(F) Cardboard Box University in Chicago.

You- (A) You hood booger son of bitch. Giving us wrong in formation. I also think I have a gallstone.

Stranger- Does your 'doctor' even have a certificate?

You- (A) YEAH! I read it last time I went; it said it was for the arts.

You-(F) we took it as the arts of being a doctor.

Stranger- Please go to someone else.

Your conversational partner has disconnected

* * *

Well that was that. Sorry for it not being too grumpy, but this is eldertalia. They were sort of grumpy.

The link~ watch?v=BrbM92xLUNI

P.S- isn't he cute!?

and pp.s, when we get to 50 chapters, we will celebrate. I dont know how, but we shall!


	42. How Aids Happened In Hetalia

Hey guys! I'm feeling… what's the word…. Feisty? (Let's use feisty) Today, and I decided to update twice. Hot damn, and I just updated like, not even two hours ago? I'm just listening to good music and feel PUMPED.

So I'd just like to tell you how my friend and I believe aids had started in Hetalia. She's just starting to get into Hetalia, so she's kind of rusty on all the family connections and all, so excuse us if it's wrong. This is our theory on Hetalian aids. It was text messaging, so it's sort of like a play? I don't know, maybe a storyboard.

But I think we will soon have a new fan fiction writer c;

Warning- Dirty stuff

Miranda- I also think china's cute, France and England belong together, and I'm Russia and Canada's bitch for life c:

Megan- I'm defiantly Prussia's, Italy's and Greece's bitch. Italy and Greece should be best friends.

Miranda- Yeah, but they're not, sadly. Italy belongs to Germany.

Megan- OMG YES LIKE PIMP AND PEASANT

Miranda- NO, AS IN SEX BUDDIES

Megan- NO NOT ONLY SEX BUDDIES BUT GERMANY IS LIKE THE OVER POWERING HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND OK HE LIKE BOSSES ITALY AROUND. AND ITALY DOESN'T CARE MOSTLY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHATS GOING ON.

Miranda- Yeah, but they have hardcore sex every night. And since Germany is into BDSM, he ties Italy up a lot and whips him.

Megan- BDSM XD Then Italy cries and calls Greece but Greece don't give a shit about Italy so he doesn't answer then Germany rapes Italy. Then they eat pasta based meals and go to sleep.

Miranda- But Italy calls France because they're somehow brothers and France tells him to not be a pussy and take it in the ass all night. And sausage pasta, Germany loves sausage.

Megan- OMG XD YES! The lasagna has sausage instead of beef meat ^.^ (( Beef meat sounds so wrong to me….) )

Miranda- Yes! But Germany cheats on Italy with Prussia, Germany's older brother. But Italy doesn't care, they have 3somes all the time.

Megan- Italy then realizes how fucked up his life is and decides to accept it. He stops screaming while being raped and enjoys the 3somes. Germany gets pissed because he secretly liked seeing Italy suffer. So he got Prussia to rape Italy while he was beating him.

Miranda- Germany gets mad because Prussia was making him scream and suffer. Enraged, Germany then says "YOU FUCKING CUNT, YOU LIKE PASTA SO MUCH, HOW ABOUT SOME UP YOUR ASS!?" Makes Prussia get out of the way and sticks cooked pasta up his ass.

Megan- THEN Italy pulls the pasta out of his ass and eats it. Germany and Prussia freak out because Italy is eating pasta from his ass and Germany and Prussia leave. When they come back the next day, Italy is dead, bleeding from the ass. They take the body to china, who eats it.

Miranda- Then China throws up because it turned out that Italy's ass had rabies somehow. China flips the fuck out. China then goes crazy and bit Japan, giving him rabies.

Megan- While Japan is in the most high class hospital getting treated for rabies, China goes even more mad, demanding that North Korea and South Korea give up all their children under the age of four for a sacrifice. They are dumb enough not to realize China has rabies and they don't have to listen to him, but they give up the children. China then makes them turn into slaves to do his work, then they all die because rabies got in the air from when he would talk about hello kitty. Then Germany and Prussia commit suicide because of all the shit they've started.

Miranda- Then America starts a love affair with England who is currently getting fucked by France. While the children are being sent to China to become slaves, Italy comes back to life and has massive orgies with Greece and varies men. They all get rabies soon that progresses into aids. That's when aids really happen. It came from Italy and Greece. Mostly Italy.

Megan- Since England likes to fuck around, he met Greece who had the rabies/aids and had sex with him, giving him the same shit. England then gives it to France, then America.

Miranda- Then England gets caught having the affairs they both leave him. He goes straight for a bit and got Hungary and Ukraine drunk. He then convinced them to box with each other then it turned into a makeout scene.

Megan- England then has sex with them, giving them rabies/aids

Miranda- China then goes completely crazy, and bites the kids on the face whenever they are bad, giving them the rabies. Soon, the kids go crazy and have contest to see who can bite who the fastest.

Megan- Then the kids grow old enough to where they have sexual urges and all of them start having sex during their working hours. China doesn't mind, in fact, he joins in a few times.

Miranda- One day more than half the population of girls became pregnant. None of them knew who they fathers were, so the result was the hit T.V show Maury in China.

Megan- XD YES! Only 25% of the mothers got child support. But gangues con had the most sex.

Miranda- He's Mongolian…. I think. But England has seemed to spread the most aids, giving it to more than half of the countries. Then he spread it to his people, because he would fuck the brains out of them too.

Megan- Then Maury came to America, helping others who had sex with England, or anyone and didn't know the father.

Miranda- Then the population of the world started to die off, since the babies were born with rabies/aids, they didn't leave long.

Megan- 95% of the population had England brows.

Miranda- They were so ugly, that everyone died.

Megan- The end.

Not saying England is ugly, it was just the eyebrows. I know they're for sex appeal, but I just wanted to wrap it up.


	43. Gilbert's TV Show Pt 2

So today will be Gilbert's talk show guest today like normal. We have the very popular elder man from Eldertalia, Arthur Kirkland.

I won't be updating till…. Probably Thursday. Going camping, then going to Wolf Lounge and Bush Gardens with my two friends :3 It's going to be fun! All in till we get on big on the big rides -_-

* * *

Gilbert- Hello everyone! We have a very special guest, but you know who they are. Today, we will give you the latest news on Paula Dean, fake hair theft in Baltimore and give reviews on probably one of the best abridged anime, Hellsing. We also have Red Roses after another interesting rumor. But before we get to the fun stuff, we'll have to push Liz out of the way. Liz, get your shit over with what grinds your gears.

Liz- Thank you, Gilbert…. Well, what grinds my gears is when you're typing in your password for something and it is just those fucking little dots. I hate that! I mean, is someone going to look over your shoulder like 'Hey there. Whatca… Whatca typing there?' NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN NO, NO THEIR FUCKING NOT. GILBERT, BACK TO YOU. *Throws papers down*

Gilbert- *Face disgusted* Thank you, thank you Liz. Dumb bitch. Anyway, today in news. Paula Dean is getting sued by a former employee who is claiming her ass is racist. Racism isn't fun kids, don't do it. Let's switch to Antonio to get his opinion on this. Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has them. Even girls. ANTONIO!? *points towards him, camera moving to him.*

Antonio- Girls don't have ass holes!

Gilbert- YES THEY DO LIZ'S IS HUGE!

Liz- HEY!

Antonio- Anyway, I think this is bad. Racism hurts people's feelings… It's not nice.

Gilbert- Racism isn't awesome. Ok, out of that area. THIS JUST IN FOR Baltimore county Maryland. Needs for human hair is on the raise, making people having a sudden need for it. So what do they do? They decide to rob the place of their human hair. Someone stole about 35,000 worth of it in Chicago, clearing the store of it. I bet the people stealing it in Baltimore are the same who stole it in Chicago. Baltimore, Chicago… Come on now. (My family being originally from Baltimore, this makes me laugh XD)

Antonio- That's crazy… * Puts another weave in* that's just crazy. * Grabs another*

Gilbert- Yes, yes it is. SO NOW, WE'LL MOVE ONTO THE ANIME THING. Hellsing, an interesting anime about vampires, and 'big titty' police girls, has managed to inspire fans to create a fan made parody. I loved every second of it because it made me laugh. Valacord is the vampire (I think that's how you spell it) that is always causing trouble. But the parts that really made me laugh was when he was with the girl he called 'big titty police girl'. Their relationship was heartwarming. But my most favorite part was one of the simplest. He was watching his 70' inch T.V and someone busted through his wall while he was watching Adventure time and it was destroyed. He goes; " That was a 70 inch, flat screen T.V…. *Sucks on teeth* So how can I help you?" I die every time. Sorry for the spoilers, but fuck it. There's only 3 for now, more coming out around Halloween. But now we'll switch to Red Roses who has exclusive information on a certain someone… Red Roses?

Red Roses- Ok, so zere is zis guy, walking around in a purple suit… He needs a punch in ze face. But anyzay, I have zome top information on Toni, Alfred's friend. Did you know he's an alien!?

Gilbert- Um, yeah. We all knew that.

Red Roses- Oh… Well hang on, let me zhink of zomezing less…. Ok! I got zis! Eduard has dyed his pubic hair rainbow colors and he goes nude, going up to random people going 'Taste ze rainbow!' Is zat good enough?

Gilbert- Yes, yes it is. Now before we get a call for being libel, let's bring out our very special elder, ARTHUR KIRKLAND! Arthur, get your dusty ass out here! * Crowd cheering, Arthur walking in slowly with pink fuzzy slippers on and waving his hand at the crowd irritated. He sits across the table with Gilbert*

Arthur- They're too fucking loud, they'll bust my fucking hearing aid, damn it I'm so fucking hot you could fry an egg on my titty.

Gilbert- So how are you today sunshine?

Arthur- I thought I discussed that not even a minute ago. My balls itch. * Takes back scratcher out.* My back'll give out if I reach down this far.

Gilbert- That's nice. So, how does it feel to be one of the most popular elder in Hetalia?

Arthur- I don't give a damn. Today I was walking outside and my neighbors bitchy ass little poodle came up to me and started to hump my leg. That's some hood booger shit right there, horny bastard.

Gilbert- So what did you do?

Arthur- I kicked him. And he died.

Gilbert- Oh. What did your neighbor say?

Arthur- Nothing yet. I put it back in his backyard fence WHERE THAT SON OF A BITCH BELONGS.

Gilbert- Well I'm glad it got what it deserved, that's awesome. So when you were a kid, what was your favorite food?

Arthur- Well when I was a kid no one was a pussy, so I would eat the womb of a billy goat in front of its children.

Gilbert- You're pretty hardcore.

Arthur- I am. I got my nipples pierced and my penis pierced. Would you like to see?

Gilbert- No thank you.

Arthur- Damn kids these days.

Gilbert- Well I'm afraid that's all the time we have tonight, see you next time on GILBERT'S TALK SHOW! Goodnight/Goodmorning/GoodAfternoon to ya!

Arthur- Can I please show you my nipple piercings?


	44. Elder Trio

Today we'll have more eldertalia because I'm just not feeling as creative as I normally do.

This should be fun.

I'm going to great my own trio, the elder trio. They'll be the ones I think will be the funniest elders. We'll have Arthur, Gilbert, and Romano. Don't know why… But I'm feeling this…. I'm feeling them. Mmmm c;

And my plans have changed, no more updates starts Tuesday through Thursday.

Just a chat with lovely old men:3

Enjoy~

* * *

Originals First~ (Arthur

Stranger- HELLO!

You- Stop yelling! You'll pop my fucking hearing aid with your big ass mouth.

You- Your mouth that big you'll be the best cock sucker around you little hood booger son of a bitch.

Stranger- Your so mean!

You- Shut the fuck up you little shit, I'm trying to watch this two girl's one cup video all the kids are talking about.

You- My grandson, Peter came up to me with chocolate ice cream all over his face saying he was one of them.

You- It's gotta be about how two girls make ice cream and eat it together.

Stranger- I assure you its not.

You- Fuck you, I'm always right.

You- You were right…. It's not about ice cream.

Stranger- Told you!

You- Wait.

You- WAIT

You- WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE

Stranger- WAT

You- THEN WHAT DID MY GRANDSON HAVE ALL OVER HIS FACE?!

Stranger- OH MY GOD D:

Stranger- WHY DID HE WATCH IT!?

You- HE SAID HE SAW IT ON FAMILY GUY (Pinkithai, I didn't forget about you and your love of family guy)

Stranger- Oh…. Well family guy is nice.

You- Yeah. So how is your big ass mouth doing with the cock sucking?

Stranger- STOOOOOPPPPP! I've never sucked it before D: I bet you have.

You- Of course I have! In my retirement home we have cock sucking Thursdays. Last Thursday it was my turn.

Stranger- Which one do you go to?...

You- Eldertalia.

Stranger- Oh.

You- PEEBLES IS TALKING TO ME!

Stranger- Peebles?

You- My monkey that's not really there…

Stranger-?...

You- I took acid.

You- And I hallucinate A LOT

Your conversational partner has disconnected

* * *

Whelp. There's that.

~ Welcome to Gilbert's elder life now ~

Stranger- Hello.

You- Hallooo

Stranger- How are you?

You- *Grins you*

Stranger- *Slaps you*

You- Aint nothin' wrong with a little bumpin' and grindin'

Stranger-…

You- My nurse took my car away, but I still have my power scooter, care for a spin?

Stranger- I don't know….

You- I just took some Viagra, if anything gets heated, we're covered, I promise.

Stranger- Condoms?

You- They never have my size.

Stranger- to small?

You- Too big.

Stranger-….

You- All for you baby ;3 and anyone else whose had it before you.

Stranger- HEY!

You- they had it first. Got to share.

Stranger- Your weird….

You- I'm just too old for picking up chicks.

Stranger- there's your problem, I'm a man.

You-… WAIT. THEN WHY WHERE YOU PLAYING ALONG WHILE I WAS TALKING ABOUT CONDOMS AND VIAGRA!?

Stranger- I didn't say I was a straight man.

You- Touché….

Stranger- Yes. I like you.

You- Mmmm baby. I hope you know I'm 67.

Stranger- Be my big daddy?

You- Call me big poppa.

Stranger- Yes, big poppa.

You- Good boy. NOW STRIP YOUR PANTS, WE GONNA BUMP AND GRIND

Stranger- Ok. I will have your babies.

You-… What?...

Stranger- I will have your children.

You- The way men are engineered, no, you will not be.

Stranger- WHO SAYS!?

You- ANATOMY

Stranger- WHOS THIS BITCH?!

You- Oh god. ARE YOU GRELL SUTCLIFF!? (sorry, but come the fuck on)

Stanger- NO! I'M JOBBY

You- HELLO JOBBY, BUT THEY'RE NOT TEACHING YOU SEX ED CORRECTLY.

Stranger- SEX ED? HOW DO SEX ED HELP.

You- it teaches you why two men can't impregnate each other.

Stranger- That's not what my mama says.

You- WHAT DOES YO LONG TITTY MAMA SAY?!

Stranger- SHE SAYS YO A LONG TITTY NO NIPPLE BITCH THAT WANT THE D!

You- Sounds about right.

Stranger- My mama knows well.

You- Not well enough. Now go give me a bath, I think I'm getting some bed sores.

Your conversational partner has disconnected

* * *

Last, but certainly not least, Romano!

You- YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD

Stranger- Why are you yelling at me?!

You- I'VE SEEMED TO HAVE PUT THE CAPS LOCKS ON AND I CAN'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO FUCKING FIX IT YOU SORRY BASTARD.

You- I BET YOU'RE A DISGRACFUL YOUNG MAN WHO IS A BASTARD TO THEIR MOTHER AND FATHER AND DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE WORLD. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I WOULD ACTUALLY GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY, NOT STAY IN THE FUCKING HOUSE WITH… WHAT DO YOU GUYS PLAY WITH… TOASTER.

Stranger- Yes sir.

You- OH, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE SOME FORM OF MANNERS YOU LITTLE BASTARD.

Stranger- Why are you calling me a bastard, sir?

You- BECAUSE I LIKE TO HEAR IT YOU BASTARD.

You- DID I MENTION I HAVE ANGER PROBLEMS!?

Stranger- No sir.

You- GOOD. NOW YOU KNOW. YOU'RE SUCH A NICE YOUNG MAN, BUT YOU'LL NEVER MARRY THE DAUGHTER I THINK I HAVE.

Stranger- You think you have, sir?

You- YES.

Stranger- Ok, sir. So why are you on here?

You- ARTHUR TOLD ME THAT PEEBLES TOLD HIM TO GET ON SO HE TOLD ME TO GET ON.

Stranger- Oh, that's nice sir. Well I have to go, I'll talk to you later sir.

You- OK, BYE NICE YOUNG BASTARD MAN.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

* * *

Well, that was that. I'll have to make fan art of them some time. Anyway, I'm thinking about a Q&A with these guys, but I just got them on here, so let's give it a bit. I hope you liked the trio, I'm starting to love them already3


	45. Pairing Situations

Guess whose back?! Anyway, I went to Busch Gardens and The great Wolf Lodge. Pretty fun, pretty fun. I just had to drive four fucking hours to Virginia. It could have been worse, but oh well. And my friends I went with KNEW I didn't like big rides and all that junk. So at Busch Gardens they went on this one ride called the griffon, and it had to go about 240ft in the air, then when it was going down, it'd dangle you there for a good 20 seconds then shoot down really fast. The fuck is wrong with people… I got on the boat thing that is at almost every amusement park. (the ones that swing you? Yeah, that one) And when it would put my side up at the very top, I couldn't stop looking down and air got stuck in my throat while screaming and I was like 'A-*gasp gasp gasp* AH *suck in air then chock on it* AHHHHH!' Then there was this thing called 'Escape from Pompeii'. THERE'S REAL FIRE IN THAT MOTHERFUCKER :D but when you're going down the shot, holy shit it felt like I was going to fling out of that thing. I did like the European theme; I thought that was so cool! And in the German section, there was this hunted house and the prince that turned evil's name was Ludwig. My friend has a love affair with Gilbert, so she was all like 'Where's Gilbert?! LEAD ME TO HIS BEDROOM." I was just disappointed because Ludwig wasn't as polite as I thought he would be to his guest. But the water park was fun, the hotel was like staying in a Lincoln log house. Pretty cool…

Anyway, today I'll just do a play. It's going to be easier. I'm so tired, I got home at 11:30 last night.

Today we'll have funny pairings. Putting them in different situations will be fun.

Enjoy~

* * *

~UsUk~

Alfred- Can you go get me a Big Mac? Please! I've had a long day!

Arthur- Doing what?! Sitting on your ass and playing fucking video games?! That's got to be tiring! Of course I'll go get your busy self a burger, I mean you ARE so busy!

Alfred- Thank you baby, I'm so glad you understand. *Continues to play video games*

Arthur- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- IT WAS SARCASM!

Alfred- PLEASE! I WANT DINNER!

Arthur- I'll go make you something! *Starts to go towards the kitchen, going in the fridge and grabs eggs*

Alfred- *Picks head up like a dog, pauses video game and sprints into the kitchen* NOOOOOO! *Karate chops the eggs out of his hand.* No. Burger. *Stands like a four year old*

Arthur- FINE! WHILE I'M GONE YOU CLEAN UP THE MESS!

Alfred- Ok. What were you going to make anyway?

Arthur- I don't know… I just found eggs and thought I could make pizza or something.

Alfred- Oh…

~Arthur's Car Ride~

Arthur- Damn it… Where the fuck do I get this big mac shit. What is a big mac anyway? A fat man named mac? I don't know… Maybe this place has it… *Pulls into Wendy's*

Other guy- Hey welcome to Wendy's how may I help you?

Arthur- Yeah, could I get a big mac?

Other guy- Sorry, we don't have them here.

Arthur- Well where do you get them?

Other guy- McDonalds. But that's on the other side of town.

Arthur- shit…. Ok, got anything close to a big mac?

Other Guy- No… No ma'am we don't.

Arthur- Ma'am?!

Other Guy-….

Arthur- I'VE HIT PUBRITY A LONG TIME AGO, MY BODY HAS WORKED HARD NOT TRYING TO SOUND LIKE A WOMAN.

Other Guy- I'm terribly sorry, but would you like anything?

Arthur- Yes… Give me a….

~At Home~

Arthur- *Bust through door, holding Wendy's bag.* I wasn't going all the way over to the other side of town so I got you something else.

Alfred- *Takes deep breath* AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Arthur- Shut up you little shit. *Throws bag to him.* I'm tired.

Alfred- *Opens bag, takes out container, look of disgust on his face* How…. How could you…

Arthur- What?

Alfred- *Takes container and holds it up to Arthur's face, manly tears going down his face* H-HOW *Sniffle* COULD YOU GET ME A FUCKING SALAD. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Arthur- THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING GET FOR NOT TELLING ME WHERE TO GET BIG MAC'S. I WENT TO WENDY'S. A FUCKING SHITTY WENDY'S AND ASKED FOR BIG MACS.

Alfred- *Throws salad on the floor* SO YOU GAVE ME A SALAD!?

Arthur- PROPER PUNISHMENT.

Alfred- I don't know if I can even look at you right now...

Arthur- Well good, don't.

Alfred- I won't.

Arthur- Good. *Crosses arms.*

Alfred-… *Crosses arms, staring at the salad*

Arthur- *looks towards the stairs.*

Alfred-…. Want to go have sex?...

Arthur- Fuck yes.

* * *

~ PruAus~

Gilbert- *Snores loudly, wrapping his arm around Rodrich lovingly, putting his head in the crook of his neck*

Rodrich- *whispers* God damn it, right in my fucking ear. *Kicks gilbert's leg, getting closer to his member with each kick.* Move back!

Gilbert- *Giggles, stops snoring* Rodrich…

Rodrich- *Blushes* MOVE BACK! *Keeps kicking* MOOOOOOVVVVVEEEE!

Gilbert- *Smiling* Well if you want to try something new, then ok.

Rodrich- STOP IT NOW! MOVE YOUR ASS!

Gilbert- Mmmmm Rodrich.

Rodrich- STOOOPPP!

Gilbert- Feisty tonight, aren't you?

Rodrich- *Blushes a dark red* Oh my god…

Gilbert- Ah. That's nice…. * eyes open slightly*

Rodrich- GILBERT, WAKE UP! NOW!

Gilbert- *eyes open fully* Wh-what?... I was having a good dream…

Rodrich- YEAH, I KNOW!

Gilbert- You weren't in my head, silly.

Rodrich- you were talking in your sleep.

Gilbert- AGAIN!?

Rodrich- YES! You're nasty too!

Gilbert- You've had those kinds of dreams too. *Winks*

Rodrich- N-N-no I don't…

Gilbert- Yes you do.

Rodrich- Who says!?

Gilbert- The cat.

Rodrich- Well he's a lying bastard. I'm going back to bed. *covers back up* Goodnight.

Gilbert- *Gets back with Rodrich, spooning his baby* Goodnight. *kisses cheek* I love you.

Rodrich- *blushes* I love you too.

~ They also had sex the next morning~

* * *

~GerIta~

Feli- LUDWIG, LUDWIG! *Says in the bathroom, standing on the toilet*

Ludwig- WHAT?! *Says in the other room, playing Mario pretending to work.* Oh fuck that damn turtle.

Feli- THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE BATH TUB, COME AND GET IT! LET IT BACK OUTSIDE!

Ludwig- I'D RATHER KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER!

Feli- NOOOO! THAT'S NOT NICE.

Ludwig- *Sticks tongue out, playing with the little hand held play station thing* Yeah, I'm coming. FUCKING TURTLES MAN. THEM FUCKING TURTLES! *Turns game off, throws it the window with rage* YA! *Goes into the bathroom*

Feli- *points to the closed curtain* THERE! THERE!

Ludwig- It's ok, it's just a little spi- *opens curtain* HOLY FUCKING SHIT! *Pulls hands up to chest* IS THAT BITCH ON STEROIDS?!

Feli- I don't know but get it! Pleaseee!

Ludwig- * Looks up at Feli, his face soft like a babies* No.

Feli- Please!

Ludwig- NO! IT'S TOO BIG! I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT THING!

Feli- Call an exterminator!

Ludwig- Ok, let me get my phone out of my other pants. *Walks to the other room and gets his phone, comes back in the bathroom* Ok, the number is * looks back in the tub* Umm…Feli?

Feli- Yeah?

Ludwig-…. Where's the spider?

Feli- What?

Ludwig- The spider… Where is it?

Feli- *Shrugs shoulders*

Ludwig- Oh… Well let's just go down stairs, and watch T.V.

Feli- Ok! *Gets down from the toilet*

~Later while watching T.V~

Ludwig- *Thinking* Feli's so cute when he's sleeping… *Pets head, looks at him suspiciously. Still thinking* did he get a buzz cut on the back of his head? Why's it so short..? *Turns his head, sees the monster spider.* OH MY GOD! * jumps up and wakes Feli up*

Feli- Wh-what's wrong? *Asks still sleepy*

Ludwig- THE SPIDER! IT'S ON YOUR HEAD! *Says franticly, making Feli grab his face in horror, letting out a scream.*

Feli- AHHHH GET IT OFF! * starts to jump up and down, felling it crawl further up his head* Help!

Ludwig- *Waving his hands in front of his chest* NO! BANG YOUR HEAD ON THE WALL OR SOMETHING!

Feli- Ok! *walks over to wall, banging his head on the wall but still missing it. He starts crying* LUDWIG PLEASE HELP ME! AH! IT'S ON MY FOREHEAD!

Ludwig- *sucks teeth, jumping up and down* Ah! Ah! Um… Ok! But if I hurt you it's not my fault, and I'm sorry if I do. *Feli nods head.* Ok.. Um… * Takes book* I love you, you know that right?

Feli- Yeah…

Ludwig- Ok, good * throws book at Feli's face, making him make a yelping noise* I'M SORRY!

Feli- OUCH! IT'S ON MY NOSE! HELP! HELP!

Ludwig- Sorry! * Throws the book right on Feli's nose, making him yelp even louder*

Feli- OUCH! *starts crying louder* M-My nose!

Ludwig- * runs over to Feli, cradling him* I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!

~ Home, later that night~

Ludwig- I'm sorry I broke your nose…

Feli- *Sits on couch* It's ok. That sorry bastard spider is dead now.

* * *

Well I'm done with fan fictions for the day… I think. I shall go slumber now.

Good day


	46. Goodbye guys

Ok, since this story is 'against the rules' I will be transporting it to Live Journal. I've had one for a while, but never used it. It's just my old user name for everything, MaximosBlack. I'll send a link to it at the end. But I'll do more things on that since it'll be available. I (probably at least one) picture of me so all you guys can see what I look like, I'll do manga and anime reviews, fan fiction reviews, and of course fan fiction. I'll probably add more things into that, but I think this way I could become more connected to my readers and all. I know all authors go through this rant, but you guys seriously mean a lot to me. Ask my boyfriend for one. I sometimes cancel plans to do things with him, tell him I can't talk all because I'm updating stories for you guys. I like to keep you guys happy and satisfied at all times, that's why I'm moving this over to Live Journal. With this little thing I started out of whim I've met amazing people, and with other stories. One of my followers has been there for me since the start. They check out pretty much all of my stories. jackcay101, thanks for all you've done :3

BUT ANYWAY, the main point of this is I want to keep meeting amazing people and keep writing stories that make other laugh. That's one of my favorite things to do; make people laugh.

But today I'll be doing the LAST chapter of this that's on this site, and it will be the characters saying their goodbyes on Gilbert's Show. *But if you follow me on Live Journal, I'm still continue this story!* and the request that I had just gotten I'll do when I get to Live Journal.

And there will be more after this, and please make sure you read the other author's note at the end. And right now, Pandora is playing "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Not. Fucking. Cool.

I hope you enjoy~

* * *

~Gilbert's Show~

Gilbert- Today, we'll have all of the victims of each major story, play, chat, anything and everything on here to say their goodbyes, and to give one last laugh. First, we'll have the original play, "How Arthur became a stripper". Right now we'll have Arthur and Alfred, give it up for the duo! * Walks out, sitting down across from Gilbert*

Alfred- Hey! Gilly, how are you?

Gilbert- Fucking fantastic. How are you?

Alfred- Well that's good. I'm ok, could be better.

Arthur- But thanks for having us on the show.

Gilbert- Anytime! So, do you know how Miranda got the inspiration to write this play?

Arthur- *Sucks teeth* Um well… Her mother watches a lot of crime shows, and she was hearing something about strippers and all. So she thought since she got banned from omegle, this will be a perfect opportunity to make a play about strippers.

Gilbert- So is that her dream? Or…?

Arthur- Yes, she loves strippers.

Alfred- They are interesting creatures, if you really look at them from her perspective.

Arthur- They go out in the night like nocturnal animals in the wild. They wear their clothing like mating calls for wild animals, and then they have sex in return for money they use to buy things.

Gilbert- Well… That's pretty interesting. So she decided you should be one of these creatures?

Arthur- I had the honor to be one of these creatures.

Gilbert- Ah.

Alfred- It was amazing to do this play, it was very entertaining.

Gilbert- Well I'm glad. Well, we have to go, we need to bring out the others. Bye guys!

Alfred- Bye! We loved every minute of doing this!

Arthur- Yeah! Bye!

Gilbert- Alright, next we'll have the most memorable chat ever, tonight, we will have the one, the only… Timo! *Comes out from behind the stage, sits down nest to Gilbert* So how was it talking to the girl?

Timo- Well, it was interesting. I'm surprised she bought it. Can you imagine if she told her friends about this?

Gilbert- Oh dear gott! Don't get me thinking about that! Kesesesese~ So, did you just play along with everything?

Timo- Of course! I didn't want her to think I was some random person, even though I was. I had to provide believable was to tell her about the bull I was saying. It was hard, but I think I got her in the end.

Gilbert- Yes, yes you did. What was running through your mind while doing this?

Timo- Mostly ' what a stupid bitch'. Then I kept thinking maybe she was already stupid before I came to her, then I just thought I was a genius and could manipulate anyone into believing what I said.

Gilbert- Well I'm glad you made it out alive. Well we need to wrap this up and move onto Kiku's experience. Thanks for being on this little project!

Timo- It was my pleasure, I'll just miss doing it. *Walks off stage with a wave*

Gilbert- Everyone, welcome Kiku! He survived the chat with the horny Chinese girl! *Kiku humbly walks out*

Kiku- Hello.

Gilbert- Hell Kiku, so how was your conversation?

Kiku- Awful.

Gilbert- Why?

Kiku- She was doing dirty things to herself while talking to me. That isn't right.

Gilbert- Well, do you do dirty things to yourself while talking to people?

Kiku- *Blushes a deep red* N-N-N-No!

Gilbert- Oh! Ok, so you wait till you're alone, right?

Kiku- Right.. WAIT! No!

Gilbert- So you do do dirty things to yourself while talking to people.

Kiku- No! I don't do dirty things while talking to people! I don't do that.

Gilbert- But you just said….

Kiku- Forget what I said! I don't do dirty things to myself while talking to people.

Gilbert- But you do do dirty things when you're not around people, correct?

Kiku- *Sighs* sure.

Gilbert- Ok, all I wanted to know. Kesesese~ *Arthur comes out from behind currents*

Arthur- WANKER! WANKER! HE'S A WANKER! *Alfred comes out to get him, holding his arm*

Alfred- Dude, you're a major wanker. I've heard you all the time when I was younger.

Arthur- That was the wind! I swear!

Alfred- So the wind goes " Oooooohhh! Whoopi Goldberg"?

Arthur- *Blushes a deep red* SHUT UP! *Leaves and goes back behind the curtain*

Red Roses- *Laughs* Ewww… Nasty man. You all know zat Francis Bonnefoy is the sexies mozerfucker out dere, correct?

Gilbert- Red roses! Shedding on thin ice again! Anyway, was it enjoyable to be on the site?

Kiku- No.

Gilbert- Well ok, we got to go, next will be "The Wingman Project" With Francis-

Red Roses- SPEAK OF ZE SEXY MOZERFUCKER!

Gilbert-… Francis, Antonio, and yours truly, ME!

Francis- *blowing kisses* Hello, hello, hello to everyone!

Antonio- I make churros! *Sits down with a churro in hand*

Gilbert- Hey guys! So tell me your opinion on Jeffrey.

Antonio- He was a doll.

Francis- Yes, he was quite interesting to be with.

Gilbert- Yes he was. So how did Miranda get inspiration for this play?

Francis- Well, her and her two friends, Sloan and Maddy and her made a fact match profile account. They named him Jeffrey, and it went on from there. (and I currently have 5 matches for him… All Japanese)

Antonio- It was very fun to make since he was a little guy and always complaining about his brother.

Gilbert- Yeah! His brother was awesome though! Always in a thong…

Antonio- They were all crotch less.

Francis- So? His mega donkey penis was something to look at.

Antonio- You're disgusting.

Francis- Everyone has their opinion. Oh! And did you guys know that Arthur has herpes?

Arthur- I DO NOT! *Alfred grabs his arm again*

Alfred- Dude! Chill the fuck out, you're being a cunt tonight.

Gilbert- Well, let's wrap this up and move onto Eduard and his "Internet Survival Tips" *Eduard comes out*

Eduard- Hello.

Gilbert- Hello! How are you doing?

Eduard- I just got making a porno.

Gilbert- Fantastic.

Eduard- Yes, yes it was.

Gilbert- So what made you get into the porn industry?

Eduard- I was always a nerdy kid with a massive penis, and it seems the bitches love nerds.

Gilbert- you're a fucking genius!

Eduard- I know. But anyway, my cred of being a porn star increased drastically when I started working out.

Gilbert- Your cred? So it's like street cred?

Eduard- yes.

Gilbert- mama, I know what I REALLY want to be now.

Eduard- Well here, here's my card *Passes card, he's naked and it says in fancy letters "Breath Taking Love*"*

Gilbert- I'll keep this. *Sticks in pocket* thanks

Eduard- Anytime.

Gilbert- Well now we'll move onto what really started the whole thing, please welcome, 2p!England! *Oliver comes out* Hello, why do you have the knife?

Oliver- *Looks around* It's for protection.

Gilbert- This place is highly guarded, nothing will happen.

Oliver- you don't know that, we don't know that, I could just poison someone right fucking now and no one will know. *Looks around room, slightly shaking* Care for a cupcake?

Gilbert- No thanks, I'm on a diet.

Oliver- * Comes up quickly, holding knife against Gilberts neck* Take the fucking cupcake.

Gilbert- HELP! *Security comes to take him away* Ok, well since that didn't go well, we'll have Eldertalia up next, only Arthur though! Once again… (Didn't want to do them all because Gilberts in it too)

Arthur- It's hot in here. I haven't had sex in 75 years.

Gilbert- How old are you?

Arthur- 75

Gilbert- Oh, well how are you doing?

Arthur- I still can't shit.

Gilbert- Oh I'm sorry. So what was Miranda's inspiration on creating you?

Arthur- She was bored and wasn't getting chat request so she said ' fuck it lets make one up' and I was born an old man.

Gilbert- Oh, ok. So do you enjoy being an old man?

Arthur- Every fucking day of it.

Gilbert- Well as long as you're enjoying yourself.

Arthur- Yeah, but when people don't put goldfish in my tomato soup it really makes me wish I was dead because of all the dumb fucks out there.

Gilbert- I completely understand. Well for the final guest on this show, we'll have the creator herself, Miranda. *Comes out, sits down next to gilbert* Hello.

Miranda- Hey.

Gilbert- So what really made you want to start this?

Miranda- Well, I've always been able to make people laugh, and I really loved doing that because it made me smile because someone was happy. I really like seeing people happy because it makes me happy on the inside. And what's funnier than some of the dumb fucks on omegle especially when you fuck with them.

Gilbert- Very good reasons. What were you thinking when your story started to become popular?

Miranda- It wasn't about it being popular, it wasn't about the views, which were high, and it wasn't about all that. It was about the people I met doing this, the people who liked what I did were the ones who kept me going.

Gilbert- With all the harsh humor, cussing, and sexual themes, how much will you miss doing this?

Miranda- Well it will keep going on on a different website, but this website is more comfortable for me because I know more people on here, so I guess it's like another half being taken out of me.

Gilbert- But you have other stories, make them your half.

Miranda- Yes I have other stories, but this one was one of my favorites. I felt like I could truly be me, like my personality could really show through my stories. Because I really am that dirty, creepy, loving with a slight bit of sophistication person that I let show. On my other stories I keep it as professional as I can. I look at it as a business. My other stories were like my work, keep it classy. And this, this was where I'd go wild, where I'd let my readers really look into my life and my personality. I just wish I could meet them all and give them each a huge hug.

Gilbert- They don't want to hug you.

Miranda- I know, but I rape people with hugs. So hug rape will be the answer for me.

Gilbert- Well it sucks that we have to wrap this up before hitting 50 chapters.

Miranda- But at least we got as far as we did. I loved every second of it too.

Gilbert- Well, everyone say goodbye. We're going to wrap this up. Thank you so much for supporting this story as far as it went.

* * *

profile

There's the link. I'll start it tomorrow or so.

I'm just depressed right now. I loved doing this, I really did. But maybe this is for the best.

I'll always still use this account, no matter what happens. I just want to stop before I can't anymore and lose touch with all of you wonderful people. I don't want to risk it.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me. Even reading this was enough to make me happy. This is hard to say, and it's going to be hard to do to hit the 'complete' button on the story.

So we're going to make this short and sweet.

Goodbye 3


End file.
